Oh the humanity! How will we look our children in the eye one day and tell them what we have wrought?
There the nation’s newly aggrieved were, furloughed federal workers huddled against Washington D.C.’s bitter cold, receiving desperately needed nourishment from loving area souls who could no longer stand to watch the injustice playing out before them.
Meanwhile, President Warbucks Trump was raining down unending bounties of Big Macs for his special friends from Clemson. But alas, there really are no national champions here. Only sadness.
Honest Abe Lincoln’s visage hovered over Trump’s great train of abuses, which he glibly tried to paper over with calls of “many, many French fries.” Will you be so easily bought? Oh, Great Emancipator, when will we be rescued from these dark times?!
But what is that I see in the distance? A hero, perhaps? One who understands the sort of man who is needed to bring peace and justice back to us all?
He and his friends in the Democrat Party bring to you glad tidings of great joy! For example, the Federalist is reporting that “corporate quotas will be a high priority for House Financial Services Committee Chair Maxine Waters and her colleagues. They want to increase the number of women and minorities in America’s top boardrooms, set up subcommittees on corporate diversity and inclusion, and introduce legislation to force public disclosure of the sex and racial makeup of company boards.”
Hosanna in the highest! Can you see the light at the end of the federal worker breadlines? A time when every non-gender-conforming hair on your head will be counted, weighed, measured and found wanting if it doesn’t goose-step with the almighty woke. You know, like the Oscars, but all the time.
It’s working out great for Kevin Hart and Tulsi Gabbard. Free at last, free at last! Where they want your kind but only if you are their kind of your kind.
Don’t get too excited yet, though, dear children of the light. For this won’t be easy. Kevin Hart still has refused to apologize for the fourth time while hubristically watching his new movie shoot to the top of the charts, like a black man who refuses to know his place in the intersectionality matrix.
Such shameless mockery of the federal workers and their toil through his petty search for smiles and laughter. Furthermore, his tragic unwillingness to publicly neuter himself grants license to fiends like fellow comedian Tim Allen, whose show “Last Man Standing” is experiencing unbridled success on Fox after our brothers and sisters and non-gendered siblings at ABC rightly tried to cast it into the darkness — er, I mean cut the conservative sitcom for “simple re-scheduling reasons” after six successful seasons.
These men must be pushed to the ash heap of history. For with toxic, independent men such as this, that federal worker breadlines bait ain’t gonna click itself!
Help us, Ocasio-Cortez. You’re our only hope (or not).
Steve Deace is broadcast nationally every day on BlazeTV. He is the author of the book “Truth Bombs: Confronting the Lies Conservatives Believe (To Our Own Demise).”