We live in a world now where Facebook employees are monitoring the social media site for emoji hate speech. Seriously. Grownups got in a room and determined this was a wise and noble use of their time. Because progressivism is cancer.
According to Business Insider, emojis that could indicate hate speech include a rainbow flag, various animal emojis, and a fist. Emojis that could be related to “sexualized text” include a tongue, an eggplant, a peach, and a hot dog.
So what animal emoji should I use to tell you guys over at Facebook to stick that malarkey where the sun don’t shine? Wait, don’t answer that. I’ll just keep trying them until you twits flag me, and then I’ll know. This will be fun.
Hold on a second, though. I think I’ve found another double standard in the progressive mind meld. I was just told by Samantha Bee, when she returned to her show following her c*nt-shaming of Ivanka Trump, that “civility is just nice words. Maybe we should worry more about the niceness of our actions.”
That would seem to indicate that no amount of emojiing, whether it be of eggplants or ferrets or rainbow phantasms, can possibly break your bones or violate your safe space. It was a “sorry, not sorry” apology if there ever was one.
Because free speech, baby! That’s how you get those “nice” actions after all, like the right to kill babies with impunity and shutting down businesses that think Jesus is cool and follow his teachings. You “nice” them into oblivion until they are “nice” just like you. Or else.
Where does this leave us? On the one hand, we have the very progressive people who invented the poop emoji telling us that emojiing can be tasteless and wrong. On the other, we have another progressive stating that harsh speech really isn’t the problem at all and may in fact be required to give birth to a brave new world.
If that sounds schizophrenic to you, that’s because it is. Which means the progressive party line, which is as zealously religious a party line as any in the current cultural debate, is staying right on target.
That’s how immediately after the Masterpiece Cakeshop ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court, a high-ranking CrossFit employee was nonetheless fired this week after tweeting that one CrossFit gym’s refusal to participate in a gay pride event was not only acceptable but honorable because to celebrate the LGBT lifestyle is “a sin.”
At the heart of the Masterpiece ruling was the hostility and double standard shown by the, ahem, Civil Rights Commission that originally ruled against the owner’s refusal to bake a cake in celebration of a so-called gay wedding. Now watch as CrossFit’s founder and CEO gets around that premise through classic victimization tactics: the employee’s words in turn gave him license to be verbally vicious to his employee, because the “nice” Samantha Bee action was clearly to fire him.
Said Greg Glassman on Twitter just before firing his employee, Russell Berger, for what he called his “appalling” views (otherwise known as orthodox biblical Christianity): “He needs to take a big dose of ‘shut the f*** up’ and hide out for awhile. It’s sad. We do so much good work with such pure hearts — to have some zealot in his off-time do something this stupid, we’re all upset. The whole company is upset. This changes his standing with us.”
See. Pure hearts mean you get to f-bomb people and “change their standing” for things they do in their off time. Every time you turn onto Tolerance Boulevard, it’s a one-way street.
And in this circle, we are the witches being burned in a tale every bit as preposterous as the original Salem witch trials. Don’t try to express your frustration about that with an emoji, though, or you will probably be made to care all over again.