That time Michelle Obama proved her own worldview is BS

"I am going to teach [my 9- and 6-year-old daughters] first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby." –Sen. Barack Obama on the campaign trail in 2008.

It must be exhausting being woke. It requires you, day in and day out, to fight a multitude of God-given instincts that go all the way back to creation itself, with the imprimatur “It is good” stamped on them.

Man. Female. Fruitful. Multiply.

It’s all up for grabs now, after decades upon decades of undermining by the precursors of today’s social justice warriors. One of their greatest and most miserably sanctimonious modern-day poster children is none other than President Obama’s first lady, Michelle.

He talked about babies as if they were cancer. Not to be outdone, she said in 2008 that she had never been proud of her country as an adult until her husband was running for president. And now she’s back to second her husband’s lament about how tiny little humans can be a real buzzkill.

She was prodded last weekend by a 45-year-old, unmarried, childless actress to talk about the psychological “unpacking” women like her have to do in early adulthood to get past the cultural pressure to “dream of weddings and the security of the prince charming.”

Now, if Michelle wasn’t woke, she would say something like, “Oh, I don’t know. I kind of like my prince charming. And this all kind of seems like a false choice to me. Dreaming of getting married isn’t something you need to unpack. It’s a pretty timeless thing. And if you choose to go another route, that’s cool, too. But there are real demons to fight in this world, and my little girls imagining a day where they get to wear a white dress and say ‘I do’ to a guy as awesome as the one I’m sharing my life with is not one of them.”

But since the former first lady appears to believe her own path to the White House was somehow one of coercion and bondage, we got this:

"I'm proud of what I hear from young girls, but I think something happens when they get to that stage where you're supposed to be married and have kids,” said Mrs. Obama. “Societally, we kinda look at that and go, 'Oh, you poor thing.' And then you're happy as a clam until somebody [says something] and then you start thinking, 'Maybe I'm not happy.'"

Which begs the question: How strong a woman can you possibly be when your sense of your own happiness is turned into chaos by somebody asking if you are married or have children? Might I suggest that instead of strong, you might just be a feeble, indoctrinated cultist who was briefly let out into the fresh air for a time and reacted to it like a vampire to sunlight?

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Because when it comes right down to it, Michelle Obama’s entire life story stands in direct contrast to the total bull manure she is peddling above. She did all the things she is cautioning women against, and, whaddayaknow, she stumbled right into the White House. So weird.

And what, pray tell, does she whisper in her now-grown daughters’ ears when they bring boyfriends home? That this is no time for such trivialities? That a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle? And actually, the Oscars recently taught us that a woman can be just as happy anyway with a fish. True story.

That would be the woke way, but even the wokest can’t ultimately live according to the fullness of their absurd worldview. That’s why the boyfriend is almost certainly welcomed with open arms – as long as he is woke, too, which means every bit as self-loathing as his female counterpart. Thus sayeth the pagan gods, be sterile, career-focused, and pathologically unreasonable. For the kingdom of social justice is at hand.

Like I said … it’s fricking exhausting. Which is why one of my primary duties as the father of my three children, whether they be male or female, is to make sure that if they turn out to be as successful as the Obamas, they don't continue playing the victim.