We watched ‘The Marvels’ so you don't have to
If you didn’t already know, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is going downhill, and the latest film, “The Marvels,” which was released on November 10, is only adding to the problem.
“I've seen roadside taco stands with better quality control than whatever the heck they've got going on over at Marvel right now,” says Lauren Chen.
People have waited over four years for the release of this film, as it’s the sequel to “Captain Marvel,” which came out in 2019.
Unfortunately, the anticipation and excitement leading up to “The Marvels'” release will likely be replaced with disappointment and frustration.
For starters, the movie is “all over the place,” says Lauren, adding that the confusing plotline “gave [her] a headache.”
Further, because science fiction/fantasy movies are exactly that – fiction – they don’t have to make sense scientifically, but they do have to make sense within the context of the film. Lauren points to the infinity stones from “Avengers: Infinity War” and “Avengers: Endgame.” There’s nothing scientifically sound about the concept of powerful space gemstones, and yet, the stones drove the plotline of the films and likely contributed to the fact that the movies are Marvel’s top two performers.
“The Marvels,” however, has the MCU’s lowest grossing film opening in history, perhaps because the fake science, which should have been “fun and ... cohesive,” was “some of the dumbest [Lauren has] ever seen.”
“I, still, while watching this baby-faced actress blast a hole in the sky creating a portal to another planet in order to suck out the other planets’ air, could not help but think to myself, ‘Wow, this is really dumb,”’ she sighs.
There’s also the issue of “emotional resonance” to consider.
Lauren recalls a moment in the film that should have been “a pretty heavy moment,” considering hundreds of civilian Skrulls were left to die on an uninhabitable planet, but despite the tragic circumstances, “the film moves on from that pretty quickly.”
“I mean there's literally just two minutes where it's kind of like, ‘Oh, sucks to suck,”’ says Lauren.
But that’s not the only scene that frivolously glosses over a tragedy.
There’s another point in the film when “basically you just watch a genocide unfold,” and yet “the characters [don’t] seem to give a crap that entire planets and populations [are] being just wiped out,” criticizes Lauren.
And somehow it gets even worse.
For example, in addition to the brushed-aside tragedies, there’s a poor attempt at comedy when some of the characters arrive on Aladna — the singing planet, where the language “is singing in English,” and the residents “don’t understand you” unless you sing, scoffs Lauren.
Suddenly, there’s “a 10 minute ... musical number,” featuring “Brie Larson not only singing but also magically changing outfits,” says Lauren, adding that the scene “felt like a throwaway episode of a daytime weekend TV show.”
There were other parts of the movie, too, that made Lauren realize “the writers could not give a flying F— about the film” like adorable kittens who eat scientists and throw them up later, a trio of “superheroes” who interact like “work colleagues,” and the fact that “there’s basically no men in the film.” But to get the full details on that, you’ll have to watch Lauren’s full review below.
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