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Why most parents can homeschool — so don't believe this viral lie
Every few months, the dumpster fire formerly known as Twitter informs me that I shouldn't be homeschooling my kids. The accusations are often hurled down from Mount Olympus as stern rebukes: They won't be properly socialized! They'll receive a substandard education! They'll become Republicans!
More recently, however, Dr. Caitlin Baird raised concerns that were more bemused than disparaging. She wrote "seriously…what makes anyone believe they're qualified to homeschool their kids K-12?" Even with "4 degrees in both the sciences and the humanities," she said that she "would never presume to believe [she] was qualified to teach."
"But," she added, "maybe I'm missing something."
If your public school taught you to read well, then you can teach your kids to read well. And if public school didn't teach you to read well, why exactly do you want to send your kids there?
In the spirit of dialogue, I'd like to address her concerns, because she is indeed missing something. My goal is modest: to assure nervous young parents that they are qualified to teach their children and to encourage them to at least consider homeschooling as an option.
First, I find it extremely odd for educated people to insist that they aren't qualified to homeschool. I want to ask them, "Can you read? Can you write your name? Do you know your shapes and numbers? What does the cow say?" If you answered "yes," "yes," "yes," and "moo" to these questions, congratulations, you have mastered kindergarten. If you can add, subtract, and multiply, your knowledge will carry you all the way through third grade. Throw in long division and fractions, and you're probably good through fifth. And if you need a refresher on percentages, take a few weeks and relearn them. If Billy Madison could do it, so can you.
Some commenters on Twitter argued that it's arrogant to claim you're qualified to teach reading simply because you know how to read. To them, that's like claiming you're qualified to manage a restaurant because you once ate at an Olive Garden. But that's a bad analogy. In reality, if you spent 13 years learning how to manage restaurants from teachers who knew how to manage restaurants and have been managing restaurants for your entire adult life, then yes, you probably are qualified to teach your kids how to manage restaurants. Believe it or not, this is how many family trades worked for centuries.
In the same way, if your public school taught you to read well, then you can teach your kids to read well. And if public school didn't teach you to read well, why exactly do you want to send your kids there?
Second, some parents may feel capable of teaching their kids reading, writing, and math. But they ask, "What about other subjects like history, science, and art?" I'm only partly joking when I say, "They can learn those later." When I think back to my own public school education, it feels like I repeated the same lessons about the Pilgrims, photosynthesis, and torn paper collages every year until I turned 12.
Be honest: Do you really remember all the facts you memorized in your fifth grade social studies class? What you've likely retained are those skills that you continued to use throughout your life, skills like … drum roll … reading, writing, and math. Consequently, these are the topics you should emphasize in the early years.
Moreover, the internet is teeming with high-quality content on a variety of subjects. Some of it is for purchase, but much of it is completely free. Lean into these tools. After that, you can add art, music, sports, and foreign language as you see fit. However, these activities mostly take place outside school hours already.
The bottom line is that if your child's primary school education is focused on the three Rs, he’ll probably be fine. Your voracious 11-year-old reader will not be permanently handicapped in U.S. history because he didn't make a macaroni-art picture of the Mayflower in first grade. And once children enter high school, there are all kinds of options for supplemental and concurrent education through community colleges, summer schools, and distance learning programs.
Third, how can you ward off the question homeschooling parents most dread, "What about socialization?"
One word: co-op.
This frequent, individually tailored instruction will be provided by someone (you) who knows and loves your children better than anyone else in the world.
There are thousands of homeschool co-ops scattered all over the country that employ a variety of educational frameworks. Not only will they often provide you with a complete curriculum that covers all the major subjects, they will connect you to other seasoned homeschooling parents who can answer your questions, point you to resources, and offer advice. Between our Classical Conversations co-op, church, youth group, Trail Life, Science Olympiad, and cross-country practice, my kids spend plenty of time with their peers. The only "socialization" they're missing out on is being stuffed into a locker, having their lunch money stolen, and being forced to watch the chorus teacher sing a Janet Jackson tribute medley during morning assembly.
Fourth, when people complain that homeschoolers receive a substandard education, they need to be asked, "Compared to what?"
Let's be honest: Public schools aren't doing well. In 2019, only 37% of 12th graders were deemed proficient in reading, and 30% did not even achieve a basic reading level on a national test. Many parents were very dissatisfied by what they witnessed in their kids' virtual classrooms during COVID lockdowns.
Since studies routinely show that homeschoolers academically outperform their public school counterparts, why isn't it considered a viable educational alternative?
Finally, homeschooling has benefits that no public or private school can provide. Unless you have your own reality TV show with a title like "Tim and Jean Have Seventeen," your student-to-teacher ratio will be far lower than anything a traditional school can offer. This frequent, individually tailored instruction will be provided by someone (you) who knows and loves your children better than anyone else in the world. And you'll be able to shape your kids' character in ways that public schools can't. Some of my family's most important and educational conversations about science or theology or economics happen not while we're in the classroom but while we're in the car on the way to the grocery store.
Homeschooling isn't for everyone. Sometimes it's an impossibility due to financial constraints or the special needs of your kids. Sometimes parents are truly unequipped to teach even basic skills. Sometimes local public or private schools are excellent. However, I want to encourage every parent to consider homeschooling as a live option, at least for the first few years of elementary school.
Today, with homeschooling exploding across the country, I hope that skeptics like Dr. Baird will talk to a few homeschooling families and homeschool alumni in their areas and will try to keep an open mind. Like public school or karaoke or dad jokes, homeschooling can be done poorly. But it can also be done well. And when it's done well, it is joyful and fulfilling in a way that few things can be.
Children's Crusade: The folly of hoping your kids 'Christianize' public school
The year is 1212. You’re standing on board a ship that’s taking you to Jerusalem. At least you hope it is. You’re exhausted and hungry. You’ve already watched half of your friends and companions die along the way. You’re not really sure any more if this is a good idea, but you still believe in the cause that brought you here — retaking the Holy Land. You are 8 years old.
The Children’s Crusade may not have taken place exactly in 1212, but it did happen in the early 1200s. It’s a common myth that it was an official crusade — the Holy See never authorized it. Rather, it was an attempt by desperate Christian parents to retake the Holy Land from what they saw as godless heathens.
It’s the job of parents to try to control their children’s rate of exposure to ideas that will challenge their fledgling beliefs, while also being diligent about their spiritual formation. You cannot do that if you send your children to public school.
Another Children’s Crusade is happening in public schools today and every day, and it’s being championed by Christianity Today.
Self-congratulatory nonsense
In a recent article, theology editor Stefani McDade encourages Christian parents to consider sending their children to the dangerous heathen lands controlled by the U.S. Department of Education.
“Our daughter is just a toddler, so she’s not in school yet, and it’s possible something in the next few years will lead us to change our minds. But, for now, my husband and I have decided to send her to public school,” McDade writes.
What a load of self-congratulatory nonsense. It’s hilarious that McDade doesn’t have school-age children but is telling you how to navigate your child’s education. Her article is a classic case of thinking you know everything about parenting when you haven’t experienced the majority of it. We’re all perfect parents until we actually have children and reality slaps us in the face.
A mother I know once told me that as your kids age, so do the problems. I have found this to be absolutely true.
McDade tries to muster some authority by recounting her own school years, detailing the variety of schooling options she experienced as a child. She laments how awkward she felt transferring from homeschool in Florida to a Washington state public middle school. “Most of my time in middle school was spent figuring out how to fit in,” McDade wrote. Who didn’t feel awkward during those formative years, much less when you move from one coast to another?
Schools have changed
“While researching this piece, I asked my parents how they had made their schooling decisions each time they moved," McDade writes. "They said they’d weighed the quality of available education against the influence of the local atmosphere — pretty much as most parents do. And it wasn’t until I was approaching high school, they said, that warnings against the 'dangers' of public education really started to influence their Christian circles."
I appreciate the thought her parents put into each stage of her education, but that was 20 years ago. In the intervening time, schools, especially public schools, have gone to hell in a handbasket.
The lions' den
All you have to do is open TikTok, X, or Facebook, and within a matter of minutes you'll see a barrage of videos and posts that tell you what things are really like in the public school system:
- Teachers record themselves discussing openly how they plan to sway children from their families.
- Teachers proudly displaying their array of flags — BLM, LGBTQ, trans, you name it. And not an American flag in sight.
- Chaos in school hallways and classrooms.
- Children being assaulted on public school buses.
And what happens to these out-of-control children? Even if they’re sent to administration, likely nothing. They might even return to class with a snack. I taught public school for 13 years. I have stories.
And in the meantime, where are the Christian kids in all of this? Where are the videos of the Christian kids standing up and converting the nonbelievers? I haven’t seen any.
Salt and light?
I don’t doubt the power of God to use all things for our good, but I do doubt the judgment of any Christian parents who continue to subject their children to this kind of environment because they feel like their kids will be the salt and light in the situation. That is putting a burden on children they are not spiritually ready to bear.
Most adults wouldn’t know how to respond to these kinds of situations. And let’s be honest, if this were happening between grown people, the instigator probably wouldn’t be punished either. If you don’t believe me, look up how many violent criminals get a slap on the hand and are sent back into society.
It’s a fool's errand to think that our Christian children can turn the tide of our culture on their own. Christian adults aren’t even fighting the good fight inside their churches.
In a climate in which pastors recite the “the Sparkle Creed” — a blasphemous LGBTQIABBQ spin on the ancient Nicene Creed — wear Planned Parenthood stoles on Sunday, and speculate that Jesus would gladly walk women into their abortion appointments, I’m not sure active hatred of Christians is even necessary any more. The call is coming from inside the house.
Christians in denial
McDade proposes that “recent research has shown that vitriol toward religion generally and Christians specifically has significantly declined over the last decade or so.” I doubt this, given that the Biden-Harris administration is locking up old ladies for praying in abortion clinics and Clara Jefferey of Mother Jones just had a public meltdown because a flight attendant wished her a “blessed" night.
Bless her heart. My fellow Southerners know what I mean.
McDade says she wants her child to experience challenges to her faith while she is still at home and McDade and her husband can “guide her through the pitfalls of our fallen world.”
OK, but your child won’t be at home. Your child will be at school, and unless you also work there and plan to sit in the classroom with the child like a creeper all day, you are assuming the child will come home and tell you everything.
I can tell you from experience that this is not the case. Our oldest child was having some mild problems at our Christian homeschool co-op last year, and by the time he finally told us about it, he was already done and didn’t want to go back. You cannot send your children anywhere and then assume you’ll hear every detail about it at home so that you and your child can have a therapy session.
And if you do, you’d better be prepared — you may have to talk about some things way sooner than you really care to. My hairstylist told me a story of her daughter going to kindergarten here in rural Tennessee and within weeks coming home to ask this question: “Mommy, what’s a lesbian?” I don’t know about you, but I think kindergarten is a little too young to be talking about sexual preferences.
Homeschooled does not equal 'sheltered'
If you think that the way I parent sounds like a sheltered existence, I have another news flash for you: Homeschool children ARE exposed to the world. The world is way more invasive now than ever. You only have to turn on the television for five minutes and children will be exposed to many alternative lifestyles.
I remember a few years ago watching "The Voice" at my parents’ house when a contestant came on stage with pink hair and an androgynous look. My then-7-year-old son asked, “Mommy, is that a man or a woman?” After some gentle back-and-forth, we changed the channel.
How many risque commercials have you seen in the last week? HIV drugs get advertised during prime watching hours. How many inappropriate YouTube commercials have you seen while watching videos with your child? And have you seen any music videos lately? Innocuous activities have been invaded by the endless sexualization of our culture.
It’s the job of parents to try to control their children’s rate of exposure to ideas that will challenge their fledgling beliefs, while also being diligent about their spiritual formation. You cannot do that if you send your children to public school. Yes, God is everywhere, but so are the forces of evil.
There are good people in the public school system. I spent 13 years working in it, and for most of my former colleagues, I have nothing but good things to say. However, when you sign up to work in or attend the public schools, you have to remember that it is a system.
The classroom does not belong to the teacher or to the students who enter its doors. It’s a cog in the machine that is the American education system, and you only have to spend a few minutes on social media to see that machine doesn’t work well.
And if John Taylor Gatto is right, that’s by design. In his works "Dumbing Us Down" and "Weapons of Mass Instruction," Gatto explains that what seems like malfunction to the rest of us is actually intentional.
Duty to resist
Christian or not, if you’re a parent, you have to decide if you’re OK with your kids becoming fodder for a machine that produces an intentionally terrible product. But especially for Christian parents, do not delude yourself that your children are going to change the system. As Jim Rohn says, “You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
In a recent interview with Tucker Carlson, Robert Kennedy Jr. said, “We all have a duty to resist in whatever way is going to be most effective in resisting the tyranny.” If you’re interested in standing up against the machine, homeschooling is the best way that you as parents can resist.
I’m going to keep resisting the tyranny. You should consider it too, Stefani McDade.
It’s Jaw-Dropping How Much Sex Ed Has Changed In 50 Years
Contemporary sex ed disconnects kids from biological reality.Want to homeschool? Read this first
My road to becoming a homeschooling mother was weird. I loved public school. After college, I taught at the high school I graduated from, and I was deeply involved in school life.
Josh and I got married and had our first son five years into my education career, and in my mind, he would just go to public school. I imagined that he would love learning and books as much as Josh and I had. If you’re a parent, you’re probably laughing right now.
Do not try to recreate public school at home! It does not take eight hours a day of desk work to educate your child. Most states only require a few hours of instruction every day.
As we approached school age, I knew in my gut that I wanted my children to be educated at home. After we made the commitment to homeschool, I am sure that the people who knew me at the time thought that either I had been brainwashed or I was going insane.
You may be feeling the call too and asking yourself, “Now what?”
While my former profession does help in some regards, do not feel like you need to run out and get an education degree to teach your child. You don’t. Here’s what you do need to know to get started, though.
How do I homeschool without going to jail?
First things first: legal stuff. You must know what the laws are in your state, both to comply with the law and so you’ll know when someone is asking more of you than is legally required.
That sounds intimidating, but you have help. The Home School Legal Defense Association is an invaluable resource, and it offers a simplified, state-by-state breakdown of homeschooling laws. Pay close attention to details and deadlines. You cannot be too careful in this area.
In many states, your only option is to register as a homeschooling family with your local school board, and you will be responsible for supplying whatever documentation the school board requires, including curriculum choices, medical records, and grades.
Here in Tennessee, we have an option called an “umbrella school.” You register your child with the umbrella school just as you would with a private school, but most umbrella schools don’t offer any classes. Instead, for a nominal annual fee, the umbrella school helps you handle the paperwork. We go through Aaron Academy (Taylor Swift is an alumna). Another option in Tennessee is the Farm School.
Look for similar options in your state, as they’re well worth the money. We pay Aaron Academy $80 per year, and the only paperwork we have to submit is grades at the end of every semester.
How do I choose a curriculum?
After legally registering with your state, then you have to choose the curriculum you’ll use to teach your children. Coming from the public school side of the fence, I thought I had a pretty good idea of how many curriculum options there are in the world. I was so wrong. Prepare for overload, as there are thousands of curriculum options.
Cathy Duffy is an invaluable source of information about various curriculum options, and I would have been lost without this in the early days of our homeschool journey.
Some of the most popular homeschool curricula:
Many of these are Christian-themed since most homeschoolers are Christian. While we’re Christians, we don’t use these — we follow a road less traveled. We’ll discuss that in a future post. But secular curricula aren’t difficult to find.
The upside is that you can hand-select the curriculum for each subject to meet your child’s needs. Be aware that some states are particular about curricula, so again, dig into the details. Thankfully, neither the state of Tennessee nor Aaron Academy care much about what curricula we use, so we’re free to choose what we want.
The downside is that you can waste a lot of money on an expensive curriculum only to discover that your child doesn’t respond to it at all. For example, we did Saxon math for three months when our son was in first grade. He hated it, so we switched to Singapore math.
Many homeschoolers have this problem, which is why curriculum fairs exist. Homeschoolers meet up to buy, sell, and trade curricula. They’re a great option to browse, preview, and buy at a discount, if money is tight or you want to sample a few things before settling on what works best.
This, to me, is one of the most incredible parts of homeschooling. I can change what I need to when I need to. If you try a curriculum and don’t like it, as long as it’s not a no-no with your state, ditch it and try again.
How do I fill up a school day?
Do not try to recreate public school at home! It does not take eight hours a day of desk work to educate your child. Most states only require a few hours of instruction every day.
Yes, we sit down and do formal lessons almost every day. But learning also happens all the time in organic ways. Going to the grocery store, for example, is a math lesson, a reading lesson, and sometimes a sociology lesson all in one.
But my kids won’t be socialized!
We hear this all the time from skeptical friends, family members, and online lurkers, but it’s nonsense. My kids go everywhere with me. They’re learning how to interact with everyone in the world — all ages and types. This is also the appropriate response to the questions about “socialization” that your grandmother will inevitably ask.
In fact, I argue that homeschooled children get better socialization than kids in public school. Children in public schools spend their entire day around ... other kids. Who would you rather be rubbing off on your kids: other kids or mature adults?
Not to brag, but everywhere we go, we get compliments on how well-behaved our children are. That always takes my husband and me by surprise because we don’t see them as particularly well-behaved. Part of that is that we enforce standards with our kids, but the other part is that they’re around adults much more than children, so they tend to act more like adults than kids.
Will my homeschool kids get to play with other kids AND how do I teach things I don’t know?
Thankfully, both of these questions have the same answer.
You don’t have to do it all. Look for classes to outsource what you can’t do at home. I cannot draw a straight line with a ruler, so we drive once a week for an art class at a museum. I can teach my kids piano and a few other instruments, but I can’t give them the experience of singing in a choir at home. We are a homeschool family, but we aren’t the von Trapps.
This is where homeschool co-ops — often called “tutorials” — come into play.
Once a week, I take the kids to a school run and operated by the parents of the children who attend. It is held at a large church, so there is a lot of space for different activities. The kids get choir, physical education, a literature class that I wish I could be a student in because the teacher is so creative, and a science class taught by a former engineer.
Homeschool co-ops are a great way to make friends, but they vary in cost and availability, so seek out what’s in your budget and available in your area. Ours costs about $80 per month per child — cheap for a private school — and I offset that cost by teaching a theater class.
Social media is a great way to connect with other folks in your area who are already plugged into the network and can give you more information on what’s out there to fill the gaps. If these types of things just aren’t a possibility for your family, YouTube also has a ton of educational materials and lessons. One great example is John Muir Laws’ drawing lessons, which are absolutely phenomenal for older children and parents too.
What about sports?
Sports are one of the reasons why I hear parents say they won’t pull their kids from traditional school, even if they would like to. Depending on where you are, some states allow homeschooled children to participate in public school sports.
Sometimes, individual districts are free to decide if homeschoolers can try out for the local public school sports teams.
Our homeschool co-op offers team sports: boys’ basketball, girls’ volleyball, and soccer for both sexes. The teams compete against other co-ops and a few private schools. It works much like public school team sports.
There are also recreational leagues and travel teams that can take the place of a traditional school team — if you have the time for them. Our oldest son plays Little League baseball but has also dabbled in recreational league soccer and Junior Pro basketball. In the spring, he’s taking horseback riding lessons, and after Little League is over, he’s taking taekwondo. He has no lack of sports options.
One kid at our homeschool co-op received a full baseball scholarship to college, and he only played travel baseball. If sports are important to your child, there are ways to make it happen.
Also big in the homeschool world are conventions where homeschooled kids meet up for various competitions in academics, arts, and athletics. Our oldest recently attended his first junior convention, where he competed in:
- 100-yard dash
- Basketball
- Choir
- Chess
- Photography
- Soccer kick
He also could have competed in metalworking, woodworking, poetry, recitation, and a host of other things.
Thanks to homeschooling and overall resourcefulness, we’re able to give our children the sort of well-rounded education usually available only to the wealthy.
Where do I go for help?
You need a mentor to guide you and help you avoid burnout.
Find people near you with experience who are willing to let you pick their brains and let you ask all the ultra-specific questions you will inevitably have. The umbrella school we use, Aaron Academy, has a whole room full of fairy godmothers who are always able to answer my questions.
Check social media for parent meetings in your area. Find a support network for you and for your family. Make friends with other homeschool families in your area.
Having a group of people who understand the life you’re living and can offer an ear or help you celebrate a win is vital to your mental health. Because your non-homeschool friends and family often won’t know how (or even want) to support you.
There are also lots of ways to connect online. One of my favorite Facebook groups is called Mere Motherhood — it’s a group of mothers who ask questions, get support with issues, and laugh at the silly things our kids do. It’s wonderful and one of the only reasons I still have a Facebook account.
A version of this essay first appeared on the Unprepared.life.
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