The crimes of attempted carjacking and attempted vehicle theft are far from humorous.

However, when those offenses are derailed because those trying to carry them out can't operate manual transmissions, one likely can't help but giggle at least a little bit.

But there was one major problem for the suspect: KENS-TV reported that he was 'struggling to operate the manual transmission vehicle.' Tsk tsk tsk. Kids these days.

The lack of that particular skill, as you'll soon read, has shown up at crime scenes from the sunny shores of southern California, up to Colorado and into Chicago — and even in Detroit, a.k.a. the Motor City. The stick-shift challenged among the criminally inclined can be found among our neighbors in the Great White North, too.

So feel free to let loose with a little laughter as you read the following 10 tales about crooks whose capers hit the skids — all because they couldn't drive stick.

Wet-behind-the-ears carjackers pistol-whip victim, take his keys — then run into a little problem when they try to drive away

A crew of would-be carjackers in Bethesda, Maryland, managed to pistol-whip their victim and take his keys on the night of Nov. 26, 2023, WTTG-TV reported — but ran into a little problem when they tried to drive off in the vehicle.

Officers were called to the 7200 block of Wisconsin Avenue around 11:55 p.m. after a report of an attempted carjacking, the station said. Authorities said the victim was in front of a business when three or four individuals approached him and demanded the keys to his vehicle at gunpoint, WTTG said.

Investigators said the suspects pistol-whipped the man, who ran back into the business, the station said, adding that the victim told police shots were fired, but investigators said no shell casings were found.

However, WTTG said the would-be carjackers encountered a major roadblock when they tried to drive away: They couldn't operate the SUV because it came equipped with a manual transmission. With that, the suspects fled the scene in a different vehicle, the station said, adding that the victim is recovering from his injuries.

Two teen thugs drag driver out of his car at gas station, demand his keys, and victim complies. Seconds later the pair high-tail it on foot because they can't operate a manual transmission.

A man had just finished pumping gas at a Sunoco station in the 19200 block of Frederick Road in Germantown, Maryland, just after 4:30 p.m. March 25, 2023, and was attempting to re-enter his car when police said he noticed a pair of individuals running toward him.

The duo forced the door open, grabbed the victim, and demanded his keys. The victim complied with their demands, and the pair entered the victim’s car and tried to drive away.

Unable to drive a manual transmission, however, they exited the vehicle and left the scene on foot. Officers observed the suspects about a half hour later in the 19000 block of Frederick Road and took them into custody after a brief foot chase. The suspects — a 16-year-old from Rockville and a 17-year-old from Washington, D.C. — were charged as adults on charges of carjacking and conspiracy carjacking and were being held without bond.

You can view surveillance video of the failed carjacking here.

MMA-trained motorist fights back against hapless carjackers who manage to enter vehicle but can't drive off — because crook behind the wheel can't drive stick

Stafford County (Virginia) Sheriff's Office deputies were called to Anytime Fitness in Stafford over a disturbance just before 5 p.m. Oct. 12, 2021, WUSA-TV reported, adding that multiple callers reported that three males had attacked a man and tried to steal his car.

The three males hit their victim several times with a wooden stick, the station reported, but the victim — trained in mixed martial arts — fought back. Amid the three-against-one fight, an attacker still managed to get hold of the victim's car keys, and he jumped in the vehicle, WUSA said.

But the attacker behind the wheel wasn't going anywhere. The station, citing deputies, said he had no idea how to operate a manual transmission.

What's more, a number of gym members saw what was happening and rushed outside to help, WUSA said, and so the trio got back into the vehicle that they had driven to the scene and took off.

They didn't get too far, though, as deputies learned the suspects were driving a white Acura sedan with Mississippi plates, the station said — and soon a deputy spotted them and tried to pull them over on Garrisonville Road near Interstate 95.

But rather than cutting their already embarrassing losses, the trio opted to hightail it north on I-95, according to WUSA. Deputies told the station the chase reached speeds of nearly 100 miles per hour — and soon the suspects crashed through a barrier arm and veered into the high-occupancy vehicle lanes. What's more, they continued north for about two miles in the wrong direction, the Free Lance-Star reported. Stafford Sheriff's Maj. Shawn Kimmitz on Oct. 13 clarified to Blaze News that the HOV lanes in the area are in the middle of the freeway and switch one-way directions in the morning and evening rushes, meaning that the suspects were driving north into southbound traffic at the time. Kimmitz told the Free Lance-Star it was "miraculous" they didn't cause an accident

While the suspects finally stopped on their own, they all took off on foot into a wooded median between the HOV lanes and the southbound lanes, WUSA said. Authorities set a perimeter, and a K-9 and his handler tracked down the suspects through the heavy brush, the station said. They were ordered to give up, or the K-9 would be deployed, WUSA said, adding that only two of the suspects complied.

"The third suspect incorrectly judged his own speed or K-9 Titan's speed and attempted to run away," Stafford County deputies said, according to the station. "This attempt was futile as K-9 Titan was released and apprehended the suspect within 50 yards."

WUSA said the suspects were identified as 19-year-old Jabez Clark, 18-year-old Korey Richardson, and 20-year-old Jacob Land. The station added that Clark is charged with carjacking, robbery, conspiracy, malicious wounding, assault, vandalism, and possession of burglary tools; Richardson is charged with carjacking, robbery, conspiracy, eluding, reckless driving, and hit and run; Land is charged with carjacking robbery, conspiracy, and vandalism. All three still were being held without bond at the Rappahannock Regional Jail in Stafford. Land briefly was hospitalized for treatment of a dog bite, WUSA said.

Armed carjacker, 23, ditches just-heisted vehicle because he can't drive stick, hops in getaway car — then actually pulls off even more pathetic move

An armed carjacker in San Antonio, Texas, most definitely was not up to the task last fall, managing not one but two pathetic mishaps in a row.

Police told KENS-TV two people left a bar on the St. Mary's Strip around 2 a.m. Oct. 5 and got into their vehicle when a 23-year-old male came up and demanded their car keys. Police told the station the victims complied and got out of the car.

But there was one major problem for the suspect: KENS-TV reported that he was "struggling to operate the manual transmission vehicle." Tsk tsk tsk. Kids these days.

Apparently lacking stick-shift skills, the suspect ditched the vehicle, MySanAntonio reported. Officials told KENS the suspect then re-entered a getaway car where a second suspect was waiting — which brings us to the even-more pathetic moment.

KENS said the initial suspect began to shoot at the owner of the stick-shift vehicle. But the hapless suspect definitely picked the wrong victim to fire upon, as police told the station the victim returned fire and hit the alleged thief in the head. MySanAntonio, citing police, said the victim fired rounds into the getaway car, piercing the back of a headrest and grazing the head of one of the suspects.

KENS said the two suspects fled the scene and called 911 from a home in the 2300 bock of Observation Drive. Police added to the station that the wounded suspect indicated he was involved in an accident downtown.

According to MySanAntonio, the mother of the wounded man called for emergency services, after which he was taken to University Hospital in stable condition. As you might guess, investigators put two and two together, and the wounded man was booked by proxy for aggravated robbery, KENS said. The station added that the other suspect was at that time unknown but that the investigation is ongoing.

Pair of armed males enter Audi sedan in Chicago, order driver to hand over his wallet. Driver complies, exits car — but dynamic duo can't drive stick and are soon collared.

Chicago Police told WMAQ-TV a 41-year-old man was sitting in his 2008 Audi sedan in the 1400 block of North Astor Street in the city's Gold Coast neighborhood just after 7:30 p.m. Jan. 16 when two armed males entered the car and demanded the man's wallet. Police told the station the victim complied and exited the vehicle as the suspects tried to drive off — but their getaway was foiled because they couldn't operate the Audi's manual transmission. Both suspects were taken into custody in the 7000 block of South Wood Street after they were identified as being involved in the robbery, police added to WMAQ. No injuries were reported, and an investigation was underway, authorities noted to the station.

Police declare 'Stick Shift FTW' after woman tries to steal truck, can't work its manual transmission, then exits vehicle — which crashes into fire hydrant. Cops quickly cuff her.

Police in Boulder, Colorado, declared "Stick Shift FTW" before describing a strange tale about a "thief" who wasn't "getting far in a stolen car." Officers just after 4:30 p.m. May 3 were called to Airport Boulevard for a report of a truck that had crashed into a fire hydrant. Police said they spoke to witnesses and quickly took a female suspect into custody. Turns out the woman had been released from jail after stealing a car the previous day, and as she was walking, she looked inside the truck, saw the keys, got inside, and drove off — "sort of," police added. Thing is, cops noted, she couldn’t figure out how to drive the truck’s manual transmission, after which she jumped out and tried to leave the area on foot while the driverless truck crashed into the hydrant. No one was injured, and the truck was returned to its owner. The woman was scheduled for a May 30 court date on new charges of motor vehicle theft, careless driving, driving without a license, and failing to report the crash, the Associated Press reported.

It seems like easy pickings for trio of carjackers when victim obeys commands, puts keys on hood, and walks off. But the bad guys soon are hoofing it, too, when stick shift stands in their way.

Police in Arlington, Virginia — which borders Washington, D.C., to the west — were dispatched to the 600 block of North Glebe Road around 5:44 a.m. Sept. 4, 2023. Police determined a male victim was exiting his parked vehicle when three males approached him and ordered him to put his car keys on the vehicle's hood. The victim complied and walked away from the vehicle. The problem for the suspects, however, was that none of them apparently could drive stick. Police said the suspects fled the scene on foot after they made their frustrating discovery. Officers searched the area for the suspects with no success, noting that they were described as white or Hispanic males between 18 and 26 years old and wearing all black clothing.

Cop gets suspicious after driver of Jeep fails to obey stop sign, and vehicle repeatedly stalls, indicating that motorist 'was not familiar with driving a manual transmission.' Sure enough...

Police in Coronado — an island in the San Diego Bay — said one of its officers in early March 2023 pulled over a Jeep for failing to stop at a stop sign. The Jeep also was repeatedly stalling, appearing as if the driver was not familiar with driving a manual transmission. The driver provided the officer a name of an alleged owner, which didn't match the registered owner's name. Turns out the Jeep was just stolen from 10th Street and A Avenue, and the officer found burglary tools inside the Jeep along with a parking receipt for another Jeep that was just recently parked in a parking garage near the Otay Mesa Port of Entry. Police said the officer believed that second Jeep also could have been stolen, he contacted San Diego Police, and their officers found the second Jeep with a broken window in the parking garage. San Diego Police confirmed that the second Jeep was stolen earlier that same day. The driver who was pulled over in Coronado was arrested and booked into San Diego County Jail for vehicle theft and possession of burglary tools. Both vehicles were recovered and returned to their owners.

Motor City mishap: Trio of crooks have themselves a freshly carjacked vehicle — but are forced to run away because none of them could operate its stick shift

Detroit Police said two male victims were sitting in a blue 2006 Acura TSX in the 11900 block of Radom Street on June 28, 2021, when three armed males who demanded their vehicle just after 8:30 p.m. Police said the suspects tried to flee the scene with the vehicle but "were unsuccessful due to the vehicle having a manual transmission." Surveillance video of the incident shows the suspects running away after their plan went to pieces. Police added that the suspects were wanted in connection with the attempted carjacking and that anyone with information about the crime can call police at 313-596-2555.

Seems crooks can't drive stick in the Great White North, either: Winnipeg male tries carjacking an off-duty cop — but can't take off due to ye olde manual transmission

The off-duty officer was driving near downtown Winnipeg police headquarters around 4:15 p.m. June 11 when a 27-year-old male flagged him down as a "person in distress," CBC News reported. Police said the male opened the driver's-side door, began physically assaulting the officer, and tried to pull the cop from the vehicle — despite the off-duty cop identifying himself, the news network said.

Soon the officer exited his vehicle, and the male got behind the wheel — but couldn't operate the manual transmission, CBC News said. With that option blocked, the male tried to run, but other off-duty cops in the area stopped and handcuffed him, the news network said. The physically attacked officer suffered minor upper-body injuries, CBC News said.

Authorities learned the male had been released from custody about 20 minutes before the attempted carjacking on "probation-related warrants" — but police said they believe the attack was random and unrelated to his previous time in custody, CBC News added. The suspect was charged with robbery, assaulting a peace officer, uttering threats to cause death or bodily harm, and failing to comply with a probation order.

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