Warner Discovery last week staged what it called a memorial ceremony for TBS and CNN founder Ted Turner, who died on May 6. What it delivered instead was a propagandistic pep rally — one that twisted Turner’s story into his beatification as a left-wing journalistic saint, amid an institutional chest-thump by Anderson Cooper, Wolf Blitzer, Christiane Amanpour, and former CNN President Tom Johnson.

Johnson was a longtime aide to President Lyndon Johnson before becoming publisher of the Los Angeles Times. He ran CNN from 1990 to 2001. His remarks about Turner last week quickly veered into an anti-Trump sermon that also managed to mask the huge failures of the contemporary CNN.

Ted Turner was no saint. He was loud, brash, womanizing, hard-drinking, chance-taking, and wildly successful — an All-American original. That was exactly the sort of role model I admired in 1982 — and still do.

Johnson ended his diatribe with this declaration: “CNN will not bend and will not sway during this terrible, chaotic Trump era. We can best honor Ted by continuing to keep CNN as the most outstanding news network of them all.”

Really, Tom?

CNN “will not sway”? You mean the same CNN, under your watch, whose international news chief, Eason Jordan, admitted in the New York Times that the network had withheld reporting on Saddam Hussein’s abuses to keep its Baghdad bureau open?

CNN “will not bend”? You mean the same CNN that, under your successor, Jeff “Mother” Zucker, turned prime-time into a rolling psychodrama and allowed Don Lemon to become one of the network’s most embarrassing public faces? Lemon was fired in 2023 after a long trail of controversies and allegations of misogynistic behavior.

Zucker himself was pushed out after his sexual relationship with Allison Gollust, CNN’s chief marketing officer. Maybe that qualifies as not getting bent.

And “the most outstanding news network of them all”?

Maybe CNN deserved that description in the early 1980s, when I was there helping build the network. Maybe it still did in the 1990s, during Johnson’s tenure. But after Johnson left in 2001 and Turner lost control to Warner, CNN entered a quarter-century of decay and decline. And Johnson knows it.

How else would he explain the clown show created by Chris Cuomo and his brother Andrew, the disgraced former governor of New York? Or Jeffrey Toobin, the CNN legal analyst who humiliated himself and tarnished the network by masturbating on a Zoom call? Or the fact that Zucker turned the network Johnson helped bring to its zenith into a laughingstock of the news business?

Several CNN anchors used the memorial to mount their ego-steeds and blather about “editorial independence,” likely because they can feel the walls closing in. If — when! — Skydance and Paramount take over Warner Bros.-Discovery, Bari Weiss could gain real editorial influence and give CNN’s lefty stable the Scott Pelley treatment.

Christiane Amanpour phoned it in from Beirut, looking like Mother Teresa on life support, and delivered the expected sermon in her usual syncopated style.

“I am a complete and utter adherent to fighting for editorial independence and to being able to pursue independent news coverage without fear or favor, no matter who is in charge politically, no matter where we go,” she said. “That is our mission. That is Ted Turner’s legacy, and that’s one that I intend to fulfill in my life.”

Right, Christiane.

This would be the same Amanpour who, under wildly anti-Trump Jeff Zucker, compared the Trump administration to Kristallnacht. That was not “independent journalism.” It was journalism independent of facts, independent of fairness, and independent of good judgment.

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Scott Kowalchyk/CBS/Getty Images

And no CNN self-celebration would be complete without Wolf Blitzer.

“Ted Turner was one of the greatest visionaries of our time,” Blitzer said, demonstrating his masterful command of the obvious. “He always told me to make sure we report the news fairly and accurately, and, if possible, break those stories first on CNN.”

Sure thing, Wolf. But while we are discussing fairness and accuracy, I do not remember CNN making much of your previous work for the American Israel Public Affairs Committee and the Jerusalem Post when you covered the Middle East. That seems like relevant context.

Finally came the Man from Glad himself, CNN’s SOB — son of a billionaire — Anderson Cooper.

Cooper described Turner as “a complex man of passion and guts and daring and drive,” a man who “saw what was possible when others didn’t, when others couldn’t.”

Too bad Cooper did not bring that kind of precision to his coverage of Hurricane Katrina or the BP oil spill.

The strangest moment came when Cooper told Johnson he should come back to CNN.

“We just want you to stay here,” Johnson told Cooper.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Cooper replied.

I’ll take Bari Weiss and no points against that spread.

One last thought: Ted Turner was no saint. He was loud, brash, womanizing, hard-drinking, chance-taking, swashbuckling, creative, and wildly successful — an All-American original. You know, all the traits that make contemporary leftists, no kingsers, and me-too’ers gasp, cover their eyes, point, and scream “toxic masculinity!”

That was exactly the sort of role model I admired in 1982 — and still do. That was why I wanted to work for Ted Turner when I joined the CNN Special Assignments Unit. If Ted came back to life tonight, I would be first in line to join whatever he wanted to build next.