The occasion of my show reaching its 500th episode this week was accompanied by multiple instances of serendipitous fortune.

It just so happened that we landed none other than my lady of Wokeness, Titania McGrath (aka comedian and writer Andrew Doyle), on our show. And while that was in no way accomplished with the 500-show milestone in mind -- I had no idea until last weekend that it was even in the offing -- I can’t think of a more perfect companion to diagnose the current temperature of this zany age.

Doyle’s lampooning of our postmodern state of affairs, through the uber-shrill alter ego of McGrath, strikes the perfect tone for the bottom of the slippery slopes we have collectively arrived at. For years I have warned about those slopes and where they lead. And sure enough, we have arrived in all the broken places I said we would, but at an even faster pace than I thought possible.

I was right not because I am super smart, but because I am readily observant. And conservatism is nothing if not an observational science. It seeks to conserve what works, while warning against existential impostors, both foreign and domestic. And it has always worked because it understands the true cosmic nature of the human condition.

Thus, conservatism acts as the proverbial shepherd. More and more, though, the sheep in its care are getting dumber and dumber.

For years I have tried my best to pick all the right battles and make all the right enemies, but I stand here today struck powerless at times at the taste for invincible ignorance many have cultivated on both ends of the political spectrum. There is no reason. There is no debate. There is only a food fight in the middle school lunchroom. Washington, D.C., is basically a redux of “Mean Girls.”

When that happens, following McGrath on Twitter may in fact be the best shot all of us have remaining at the sort of public shaming that can bring us toward a much-needed course correction. We aren’t so much woke as we are a total and undeniable joke.

Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

The pagan vision quest contemporary progressivism is attempting to achieve marches on. Like Bernie Sanders daydreaming about Soviet May Day parades. Like dumpster-diving in the socialist paradise of Venezuela. Like the border invasion. This is a banana (republic), after all.

The latest stops on the crazy train include (all from just the last week):

*Captain Marvel star Brie Larson said “I do not need a 40-year-old white dude to tell me what didn't work for him about ‘A Wrinkle in Time.’ It wasn't made for him! I want to know what that film meant to women of color” at the very same time that casting Will Smith to play the father of Serena and Venus Williams was criticized because he isn’t dark-skinned enough.

*Actor Ian McKellen, aka Gandalf, said Kevin Spacey and Bryan Singer abused others because of the pressure of being “in the closet."

*A school in Great Britain agreed to stop teaching Rainbow Jihad propaganda because – wait for it – hundreds of Muslims protested and pulled their kids out of school.

*The top aide of savior of the proletariat Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is alleged to have funneled more than $1 million in political donations into two of his own private companies, according to a complaint filed with the Federal Election Commission. The companies may have been established for the very purpose of making the use of those political donations hard to follow. Oh, and she also called the black staffers or employees of Republicans “tokens.”

*BirthStrike, a group of people terrified that the earth is “collapsing” because of global warming, are following Ocasio-Cortez in her belief that having children is bad.

*Toledo voters granted Lake Erie the same legal rights as a person.

*Good Morning America's Robin Roberts admitted because of identity politics she shouldn't have been expected to not be used as a willing pawn for Jussie Smollett's hoax.

Remember the man-scolding Gillette commercial from a while back? Well, it wasn’t all bad. There were some wonderful scenes from real life in there that one might think would warm anybody’s heart.

Except for the terrible people trying to ruin daddy-daughter dances. What joyless scolds. What ideologically useless weenies. This trend has been going on for some time now because progressivism is cancer. The latest odes to awful come from New Hampshire and New York.

Thankfully, folks in New Hampshire are proving to have a little “Live Free or Die” spring remaining in their step; they told the mother who came to the dance with her boyfriend, son, and daughter to take a hike.

Which brings me right back to that Gillette commercial, which featured a dad and his little girl standing in front of the mirror, with the girl repeating “I am strong” upon her father’s encouragement. Because – Truth Bomb alert! – that is exactly what a daddy-daughter dance seeks to accomplish as well! A chance for a father’s love to imbue in his daughter her singular worth as an individual. Her uniqueness. Her beauty. And, yes, her incredible strength.

Or, you can just let the dumb flow like wine, like this New Hampshire mom, who said, "In this day and age, it's not like your gender should define what type of parent you really are."