Fatherhood and the death of self



This year, I became a father.

They say that becoming a parent changes everything — and I agree. In the first moments that I held my son after he emerged from the safety of his mother's womb, I thought to myself, "My life is over."

When I take for myself, I flourish. But when I give up myself, my family flourishes.

But that is good — and for that, I am thankful.

Western culture today prioritizes self-actualization and the liberation from external influence. Subjectivity, personal feelings, and internal perceptions of identity are propped up as chief goods. And the dominant narrative we are told is this: I am the author of my life — and the story is all about me. My happiness is the most important currency in my life. If anything hinders my version of the good life, which I get to define, then I must immediately erase it from my life.

To have children is the ultimate way to fight back against this poisoned worldview. It is to embrace death of self.

Parenting, as I have experienced in my short 3.5 months and as I have witnessed in the lives of my friends, requires an identity shift. Parenting is not something that I do. Rather, I am a father.

But I am not a father in the margins of life. I am first a husband and father — and the rest of life is crafted around those vocations.

The compass that guides me is not powered by my personal feelings and desires. Instead, I am motivated to provide for and to protect my family, to serve and to lead them, and to pour myself out for them because I want them flourish.

When I take for myself, I flourish. But when I give up myself, my family flourishes. My self loses — but my family wins. Self-sacrifice and others-centered love is the name of the game.

In parenting, this is intuitive. The survival of our children requires us to spend years meeting their every need, sacrificing me for them. They would literally die if we did not prioritize them. The journey of parenthood, therefore, is an invitation to death.

But there is good news. Not only will embracing the death of self lead to a more fulfilling life — one in which we discover that true joy is found not in self-indulgence but in self-giving love — but it leads to life itself. In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus says, "Whoever pursues after his own life to preserve it will lose it; but whoever loses [his own life], he will be given life" (Luke 17:33, my translation).

Ultimately, it is my faith that motivates me to embrace the death of self. To be a Christian, after all, means accepting Jesus' invitation to follow him into death and through it to resurrection life.

This thanksgiving, I thank God that he called me into fatherhood and gifted me the end of adolescence. He has trusted my wife and me to embrace the death of self to care for His son.

There is no escape hatch, and there is no going back. And for that, I thank God every day.

Missouri Judge Allows State To Protect Children From Trans Mutilation

If the law were unconstitutional, the judge wrote, '[a]ny person — including a minor — would be able to obtain anything from meth, to ecstasy, to abortion so long as a single medical professional were willing to recommend it.'

Is ‘The Wild Robot’ A Wholesome Family Film Or Transhumanist Propaganda?

Parents should talk to their children about what makes humans unique and beautiful and warn them to be wary of anyone seeking to demote humanity from being the pinnacle of creation.

Gift Guide To Seasonal Family Books From Small And Indie Publishers

Small publishers are bringing out new classics and reviving old ones. Check out these Advent and Christmas family books.

Couple Who Rented A Womb Forces Surrogate To Abort In Case The Baby Is Imperfect

Chilling stories like Marty and Melinda Rangers' aborted baby should cause more people to question the surrogacy industry.

Kids can't draw scary faces



My kids love to draw. They are always setting up shop at the kitchen table. Commandeering the place we eat for their own artistic creations.

Some days it feels like the floor is permanently littered with colored pencils and markers. Every night when the whole family cleans the house after dinner, we always discover some stragglers.

The other day, our son accidentally whacked his sister in the face when they were playing outside. She cried pretty bad. He’s such a good kid, he didn’t mean to.

An orange pencil under the piano. A green crayon at the bottom of the laundry. A blue marker in the bathroom. How the hell did a marker get in the bathroom? Oh, someone drew on the wall.

Ferocious beasts

The kids draw all sorts of things. Cars, trucks, animals, people, our family. They also try to draw scary pictures. They draw monsters. They draw ferocious beasts with big claws. But they can’t draw scary faces. They don’t shake me. They don’t send a shiver up my spine or make me want to look away. They make me smile in a terribly sad way.

Kids just can’t draw scary faces. And why is that? They try and try, but they can’t. A vampire with a little fang hanging out of his mouth. The other side of his lips curl up in a little smile. His eyes are a little misshapen and asymmetrical. His face is soft and funny. Kind and cute. It was the scariest thing my son could draw, and it wasn’t scary at all.

He excitedly shows us his drawing, and we pretend to be scared. “Ooohhh that is scary! A vampire!” But we aren’t scared. I feel that lump in my throat. It’s a rush of confusing feelings that all come at the same time, and I can’t explain any of them. And truthfully, I don’t want to either. This boiling hot ball of feeling makes me feel so good and so bad. I am so happy and so sad.

A very long time

Kids can’t draw scary faces because they haven’t seen scary things. They haven’t seen a scary world. They are innocent. They are pure. They live in the world that we create for them. We protect them. We don’t tell them scary things, and we don’t show them scary movies. When they ask when we are going to die, we tell them that we aren’t going to die for a very long time and that they don’t have to worry about that.

Their world is sweet and kind. Simple. Even when they are mad, they don’t know how mad you can really be. The knob goes all the way up to 10, but they think it only goes to 3.

'Even when I'm old'

The other day, our son accidentally whacked his sister in the face when they were playing outside. She cried pretty bad. He’s such a good kid, he didn’t mean to. He said that he’s never going to forget it. “Even when I’m old, I’m going to remember it,” he said.

They read old books and old fairy tales. There are scary drawings of witches and giants. My son is currently obsessed with dragons. He has this red toy dragon that he loves. It looks pretty fierce. It has a split tongue that sticks out through razor sharp teeth.

But still, he can’t translate that onto paper. He can’t draw a scary face. They are always cute. They are always happy. The world as he feels it betrays what he aims to draw.

We can’t be someone we are not. We can’t feel something we don’t know. They can’t draw scary faces because they don’t know them. They don’t feel them. They aren’t them. They are innocent. They are small. They are sweet.

We, on the other hand, are sullied. We are corrupted. We are conniving. We are ugly and hateful. We are liars and cheats. Children remind us that we are not, in fact, good. It’s easy for me to draw a scary face. Just give me a pencil.

Layer after layer

We hang all their pictures around the kitchen. We have a line of string lights that run from one wall to another. We hang them up there. My God, there are so many dangling, barely holding on under the weak pressure of these little micro-clothespins. We keep adding to our collection every day. They keep bringing them to us. Layer after layer on top of one another.

The world is tragic. Things go so wrong. Why do they have to go so wrong? I don’t know. But when I see those little drawings, I smile somewhere inside. Their little hands drew those little faces. They try so hard to make them scary. But they can’t, and it’s adorable, and I love them for it.

I stare at them, and I think of how different I am than they are. How much worse I am. And, of course, they make me so sad because they aren’t going to be innocent forever. They will eventually grow up and see a scary world, and they will know how to draw scary faces.

Parents have constitutional right to opt kids out of non-curricular trans propaganda, court rules



A federal trial court recently delivered a victory for parental rights, recognizing their continued existence in the face of radical LGBT activists' efforts to usurp parental authority and indoctrinate other people's children.

First-grade Pennsylvania teacher Megan Williams compelled her young students to "observe" so-called Transgender Awareness Day — subjecting 6- and 7-year-old kids to non-curricular propaganda about "gender identity" and sex changes.

Williams, a Black Lives Matter activist who transitioned her own son who had been in first grade at the time, went so far as to tell the impressionable children in her care that their "parents ma[d]e a guess whether they're a boy or a girl" and may have been wrong.

Upon learning of this clandestine effort to confuse and indoctrinate their children, parents — who were provided with neither notice nor opt-outs — complained. However, the principal of Jefferson Elementary as well as the superintendent and now-retired assistant superintendent of Mt. Lebanon School District backed Williams.

'Parents have a Constitutionally protected liberty interest in the care, custody, and control of their children, including their education.'

Ostensibly left with no other option, three mothers — a Catholic, a Mormon, and a nonreligious woman, all three of whom believe in the inseparability of biological sex and gender — filed a lawsuit against Williams, the school, the district, and district officials in June 2022 with the help of the legal group Alliance Defending Freedom.

The parents sought a moratorium on the instruction in the district "on gender dysphoria and transgender transitioning"; parental notice and opt-out rights on the topic absent such a prohibition; compensatory damages; and punitive damages.

The parents' complaint noted at the outset that "parents have a Constitutionally protected liberty interest in the care, custody, and control of their children, including their education," highlighting the U.S. Supreme Court's recognition both that the "liberty" protected by the Due Process Clause includes the right of parents to "control the education of their [children] and that parents have the right "to direct the upbringing and education of children under their control."

'I'm in the right here.'

Last week, Judge Joy Conti of the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Pennsylvania largely agreed and ruled in their favor, underscoring that:

parents have a constitutional right to reasonable and realistic advance notice and the ability to opt their elementary-age children of noncurricular instruction on transgender topics and to not have requirements for notice and opting out of those topics that are more stringent than those for other sensitive topics.

The parents, whose complaint accused Williams of "grooming" at least one vulnerable child in her classroom, were confounded by how the school and the Mt. Lebanon School District, which had previously provided parental notice and opt-out rights when it came to classroom engagements with sensitive topics — such as the Holocaust, slavery, the 9/11 terrorist attacks, sex education, Black Lives Matter, and Planned Parenthood — effectively made Williams' LGBT propaganda session mandatory.

Williams, who subsequently stressed, "I'm in the right here," took full advantage of the leeway afforded her by principal Brett Bielewicz and the district, reading two works of LGBT propaganda to her students: "Why Aidan Became a Brother" by female transvestite Kyle Lukoff and "Introducing Teddy: A Gentle Story About Gender and Friendship" by radical LGBT activist Jessica Walton.

'Williams' conduct struck at the heart of Plaintiffs' own families and their relationship with their own young children.'

The first book is about a girl whose parents let her masquerade as a boy, going so far as to let her change her name. The parents in the book tell their cross-dressing child: "When you were born, we didn't know you were going to be our son. We made some mistakes, but you helped us fix them."

The second book is about a male teddy bear that tries to become a female teddy bear.

Judge Conti noted in her ruling, "A teacher instructing first-graders and reading books to show that their parents' beliefs about their children's gender identity may be wrong directly repudiates parental authority. Williams' conduct struck at the heart of Plaintiffs' own families and their relationship with their own young children."

The judge noted that Williams usurped parental duties in an effort to inculcate her beliefs about gender ideology in the plaintiffs' children, causing confusion.

"The students' confusion in this case illustrates how difficult it is for a first-grader when a teacher's instruction conflicts with their Parents' religious and moral beliefs," wrote Conti. "The heart of parental authority on matters of the greatest importance within their own family is undermined when a teacher tells first-graders their parents may be wrong about whether the student is a boy or a girl."

Judge Conti went further, suggesting Williams' conduct "showed intolerance and disrespect for the religious or moral beliefs and authority of the Parents."

Vincent Wagner, senior counsel with Alliance Defending Freedom, said in a statement, "Parents have a fundamental right to direct the upbringing and education of their children. School districts violate that right by leaving parents out of key decisions about their own children."

"Parents' fundamental, constitutional right to make decisions about how to raise their children includes the right to the information they need to make those decisions," added Wagner. "Without notice and a real chance to opt their children out of instruction like this, parents can't exercise their constitutional rights."

Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

All Moms Should Be Able To Parent Their Own Kids, Not Just Elites Like Hoda Kotb

Most mothers want to spend time with their kids, but are only given options or policies that favor working moms.

America’s Current Schooling Catastrophes Were Set In Motion 100 Years Ago

Starting with John Dewey, leftists have molded our public education system to manipulate America's youth into advancing their own agenda.