‘Die Hard’ Is An Anti-Christmas Movie

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://thefederalist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Screenshot-2023-12-19-at-6.50.14 AM-1200x675.png crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//thefederalist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Screenshot-2023-12-19-at-6.50.14%5Cu202fAM-1200x675.png%22%7D" expand=1]'Die Hard' embodies the most cynical, and often truthful, view of what Christmas has come to mean in modern America.

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Attention Hallmark Christmas movie fans: There’s something you need to know

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Who doesn’t love Hallmark movies, especially at Christmastime? They’re festive, heartwarming, and the right kind of cheesy. They’re always set in some magical winter wonderland, and in the end, a handsome boy and a pretty girl inevitably fall in love and live happily ever after.

Except this Christmas season, Hallmark films might look a little different.

Why? Because Hallmark’s latest CEO, Wonya Lucas (who’s already “stepped down,” by the way), has woke-ified the movies for the upcoming season.

“When they hired her, she said her priority was diversity and inclusion,” says Pat Gray, who’s sick of the leftist posturing.

While this news is certainly upsetting, Pat is determined to have a little fun with it.

He imagines a film where “some guy named Bob [leaves] his high-powered New York City job to come to his small hometown for Christmas, only to find out that his high school sweetheart, Tiffany, is now Timmy,” who “still has feelings for Bob.”

“Is Bob open enough? Is he loving enough to accept Timmy?” Pat jokes.

“Here’s the perfect opportunity for him to ask Santa for the gift of inclusion,” he continues, as laughter echoes throughout the studio.

While Pat’s imaginings may seem exaggerated, the film industry has only continued its woke agenda despite the fact that profits for these movies tend to be abysmal.

I guess we won’t know how woke Hallmark goes until December. Until then, maybe we can have some fun speculating like Pat, whose story only continues to develop.

“I think Bob’s best friend from high school needs to be in there, and Bob’s best friend has just realized that he’s both of the Qs in LGBTQQIA2+.”

But Pat’s Christmas story doesn’t stop there. To hear the full Yuletide tale, watch the clip below.

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