I realized CPAC was dead the morning of the first day. It would take a while to examine the corpse fully, but the smell of decay was unmistakable. One sign was perhaps the Dallas location of the body; while Big D is my hometown and a wonderful city, it’s removed from the palace intrigue of the D.C. elite, where this conference usually takes place. There’s also a concerted effort to expand the brand into new markets, such as Hungary and the U.K. CPAC Angola might be around the corner; who knows?Two well-dressed ladies in designer shoes, Mersedeh Shahinkar and Raheleh Amiri by name, were onstage. Their titles were “Victims of the Ayatollah,” and they explained in broken English why the U.S. should bomb their country into oblivion. The dozens of elderly people in attendance returned polite, tepid applause. I was bored.

After they spoke, I heard loud shouting in the hallway. I grabbed my camera and shuffled off, along with most of the press corps, desperate for action. It was an extremely loud group of Persians, who, completely spontaneously and definitely not in some astroturfed way, began shouting slogans in Farsi while waving Iranian flags for the press. They held aloft signs saying MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN. They held pictures of Reza Pahlavi, the son of the former shah, wanting him to sweep back into power. One wonders why the fail-son of an autocrat from the 1970s who has been living in Maryland for the last 30 years would be the ideal leader for Iran in 2026. I have my doubts. When I later asked a young Iranian guy from Glendale, California, with tattoos and a MIGA hat if he would be returning to Iran, he seemed legitimately confused.

Peter Gietl

This absurd scene of people screaming in Farsi was indicative of the entire event. There may have been more Iranians than Americans attending. Ethnic minorities of all stripes from the frontiers of the empire, here to entice us to send gold or legions to decide their petty squabbles. I saw people waving Iranian, Israeli, Cuban, Polish, Korean, British, Brazilian, and many other flags, but very few American flags, aside from the bedazzled USA jackets that seemed to be selling well at the merch booths. It’s a telling and depressing realization when your country has become nothing more than a cash machine or a weapon for other countries to get rich from or to use to kill their enemies. I’m guessing George Washington would have some questions.

Ethnic minorities of all stripes from the frontiers of the empire, here to entice us to send gold or legions to decide their petty squabbles.

I spoke with a delegation from Korea, angling for me to write about why the U.S. should overturn the Korean election, for reasons I couldn’t grasp. I met people from the U.K. and Brazil who were representing their respective parties. A conference to help unite right-wing parties around the world is badly needed, but I didn’t get the sense that CPAC was that venue.

The most common question I heard from attendees was why the conference was so small this year, and that’s a question that needs more unpacking.

Peter Gietl

The most obvious answer is that President Trump skipped it this year and, with him, the gravitas and the momentum of the MAGA movement he carries everywhere. For several years, however, there has been a precipitous decline in the status and power of the Conservative Political Action Conference. I saw a noticeable lack of vendors, besides the very nice ladies selling bedazzled jackets, unlicensed Charlie Kirk shirts and hats, and some vibrating contraption for (I assume) losing weight. While some reporters were milling about from larger conservative outlets like Blaze Media, the Daily Caller, Fox, and the Daily Wire, there wasn’t the big presence you would see at, for example, Turning Point USA.

Turning Point, through the tireless dedication of the late Charlie Kirk, has now become the preeminent event for conservatives, along with the National Conservatism conference run by Yoram Hazony. Attending both recently, it was obvious how many more serious people with big ideas and star power attended compared to CPAC. It’s also clear that they appeal to the younger generations of voters in a very deliberate way. There is real energy at Turning Point; young people and new ideas are championed. There is also a refreshing diversity of opinion at those conferences that was not on display here. CPAC was a series of milquetoast talking points you can find by switching on Fox News. "More war" would be the underlying theme, if you made me choose.

There are also the obscene allegations against the chair of CPAC, Matt Schlapp. I suppose I could use journalese to euphemistically describe the multiple allegations, but why use obtuse language when the truth can suffice? Numerous young men have accused Schlapp of forcefully grabbing their genitals. Schlapp has maintained his innocence, but there have been large amounts of money allegedly paid to settle with at least one of the accusers. Perhaps I’m old-fashioned, but I would say after the fourth allegation of homosexual assault, you might not be the right person to run a powerful conservative political organization.

Peter Gietl

These conferences are always a bit performative, filled with grifters and endearing characters, but there was a sense here of a longing to return to 2000s RNC politics and just to pretend those days didn’t die as soon as Trump descended that gold escalator. Here, I saw numerous transsexuals for some reason. While sipping a martini in the afternoon, I witnessed 6’5” transsexual influencer “Lady Maga” posing for pictures with elderly people. It’s all so degenerate; my drinking partner described it as “blackface for women,” which is fairly accurate.

The topic everyone seemed to be ignoring onstage was the outbreak of a very serious Middle Eastern war that has the potential to cause a worldwide depression. Former Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) took the stage to lambaste it, but most of the other speakers were very muted or chose to ignore the topic altogether.

Peter Gietl

A generational divide will roil conservatism over the next few election cycles. Among older conservatives, there is a strong affinity for Israel and a belief that our policies should help Israelis as much as possible and that this war was entirely justified. Among those I spoke to under 40 at the event, there is a large degree of skepticism about the Israeli-American relationship and this war in general. This divide will transform much of politics in the coming years. There’s even talk among the Fuentes-adjacent America First wing of young conservatives about infiltrating and taking over CPAC. That seems like a bit of a stretch, given that they struggle not to disgust everyone they meet in the real world. In the meantime, I think it’s fair to expect more from conservatism than transsexuals, foreign flags, and naked grift.

On the way home in an Uber, I chatted with an Egyptian gentleman named Mohammed, who explained the history of Sadat and President Sisi (Sadat is beloved, Sisi feared); why the war broke out in his opinion (a combination of the Epstein files and an attempted shift from the petrodollar); and how he has voted for Trump three times but is heartbroken that Trump wasn’t able to keep America out of another Middle Eastern war. He seemed to have a better grasp of the world than most of the speakers. I wished him assalamu alaikum as I got out of the Uber, hoping a shower and stiff drink would help me wash away the conference.