COUCH POTATOES: Desperate late-night hosts bore viewers with Tim Walz, John Kerry



Johnny Carson made us howl by having the biggest stars on the galaxy grace his “Tonight Show” couch.

Sinatra. Reynolds. Rickles. Martin.

'We need somebody, we need a feral, bloodthirsty, violent Democrat.'

Modern late-night shows settle for the likes of John Kerry and Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz. Both far-left Democrats appeared on late-night this week, eager to take the hosts’ softball queries and smack ‘em out of the park.

Walz’s chat on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” found him deflecting the massive fraud in his state to, you guessed it, President Donald Trump. Any tough questions about Cap’n Jazz Hands quitting his re-election campaign? Hardly.

At this point, one of those “Technical Difficulties: Please Stand By” signs would be better than these late-night hacks ...

Mind freak

Psychic abilities are overrated, apparently.

Sunny Hostin, in a daily scrum to prove who the dumbest “View” host is, told the ABC show crowd this week about her unique skill set. No, it doesn’t involve twisting the truth into a Bavarian pretzel. She’s already proved that more than a few times.

This week, Hostin shared a deeply personal strength.

I believe I have psychic abilities. I recall when I was a child at about 5 years old. You know, I grew up very poor, and I dreamt a number. And my grandmother was like, ‘We are going to play that number.’ We used to call it playing the numbers, and my entire family won based on that number.

Did she foresee how “The View” would become the train wreck TV that it is today? If so, she may be the real deal ...

'Chainsaw' chatter

Leatherface is ready for his close-up. Again.

A mad bidding war for the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” franchise is over, and newbie director Curry Barker ("Obsession”) will do the honors for A24 films.

But why?

The 1974 original is a classic for all the right reasons. It’s raw and shocking, and it reinvented horror in ways that are still reverberating today. It’s the original nightmare fuel, complete with an odd vocal cameo by John Larroquette. (And he was paid in pot. Literally.) Except we haven’t had many quality “Massacre” films since then.

Eight films. Only one could be considered a keeper, the unjustly attacked 2003 reboot starring Jessica Biel. The rest have modest reasons to recommend them, at best, but only for horror junkies.

Will the ninth film since the original hit the jackpot? Barker directed the no-budget horror film “Milk & Serial,” a creepy affair that became his calling card. “Obsession,” brimming with positive prerelease buzz, drops next month.

If not, well, the next reboot is only a few years away ...

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Cho chooses violence

Projection is a terrible drug.

The left routinely tells us who they are by projecting their darkest impulses on their ideological foes. And Margaret Cho is example A, B, and C.

Maybe D.

The far-left comic raged against all things Trump in a new interview. She didn’t stop there.

I am a Democrat, but I also feel like there’s this weird attachment to decorum and taking the high road, and none of that is gonna work. We need somebody, we need a feral, bloodthirsty, violent Democrat. We just need somebody who is willing to put them all in prison — do the right thing and put them all in prison.

Taking the high road? Apparently, Cho was struck in the head around 2017 and just woke up from a nearly decade-long coma. We wish her well in her recovery ...

Rock 'n' roll swindle

The Boss missed out on that hometown discount.

Bruce Springsteen’s anti-Trump tour is getting all sorts of fawning press for all the obvious reasons. It could be partly why a 76-year-old rocker embraces his far-left shtick in the first place. He knew the legacy media would have his back.

Either way, a new review of his recent New Jersey concert hit the brakes on the media love fest.

Hard.

NJ.com’s review blasted Springsteen for a show "poisoned by hypocrisy.”

The blue-collar troubadour now charges exorbitant amounts for his tickets — up to $2,900 retail for the best seats in Newark Monday; prices he agreed to despite fan backlash. He’s selling No Kings-branded flags for $90 in the arena concourse.

The site leans to the left, but the Boss is so blatantly two-faced even his fellow liberals couldn’t ignore it: His glory days are far behind him.

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'AMERICAN INVASION': Flailing Canada PM Mark Carney invokes historical grudge in latest lob at Trump



Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney clearly misses the campaign trail.

A year ago he won the election on the promise that he alone could handle Donald Trump and deliver a stronger trade deal under the U.S.-Mexico-Canada Agreement.

The irony, of course, is that in 1812, Canada did not exist as an independent country.

But talk is cheap. When Carney went to Washington, he struck a flattering tone — calling Trump “transformative” — and came away empty-handed.

Now he’s back to his familiar “elbows up” rhetoric, declaring the age of America over. What better way to shift the focus from his utter lack of progress than a little political theater?

So on Sunday, Carney gave himself the biggest stage he could find: a carefully produced video, packaged and presented as a national address.

This is something Canadian prime ministers almost never do outside real national emergencies. Even during the COVID-19 pandemic, Justin Trudeau reserved major televised appeals for announcing concrete measures — lockdowns, restrictions, and public health directives.

Familiar message

There was nothing urgent about Carney's speech. It was less an address than a political ad, polished and prepackaged and paid for by taxpayers.

The message was a familiar one: America is a lost cause, and Canada must move on:

The world ... is more dangerous and divided. The U.S. has fundamentally changed its approach to trade, raising its tariffs to levels last seen during the Great Depression. Many of our former strengths, based on our close ties to America, have become our weaknesses — weaknesses that we must correct.

The correction? Carney's "Canada Strong" plan, which calls for "attract[ing] new investment," "striking new partnerships abroad," and "taking back control of our security, our borders, and our future."

It’s the same argument Carney made in Davos and the same one he repeated at the Liberal Party convention in Montreal. What made it different was a bizarre digression about Canadian history — complete with visual aids and celebrity name-dropping.

RELATED: NA-NUKE OF THE NORTH: Former top general says Canada needs nuclear weapons

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Model diplomacy

Brandishing a tiny figurine of General Isaac Brock — the British officer killed defending what would become Canada during the War of 1812 — Carney praised him for his resistance to the "threat of an American invasion." Noting that the figurine was a recent gift from "Austin Powers" star — and fellow Canadian — Mike Myers, Carney said he keeps it on his desk as a reminder that "when we are united as Canadians, we can withstand anything."

Even the self-inflicted wound of turning our back on our closest neighbor?

The irony, of course, is that in 1812, Canada did not exist as an independent country. It was a British colony, defended as part of an empire that spanned the globe. Today, Canada is economically, militarily, and geographically bound to the United States in ways that make the comparison absurd.

Empty bluster

The two countries are each other’s largest trading partners. Their industries are integrated, and their defense arrangements are intertwined. Whatever Carney may suggest, Canada is not pivoting across the Atlantic any time soon.

And if it tried, the costs would be immediate.

Carney warns against “nostalgia” while offering nothing but slogans. No major housing breakthrough. No completed energy corridor to global markets. No visible shift that would justify the sweeping language of national reinvention.

In short, Carney has yet to reveal a coherent strategy to replace the relationship he is so eager to downplay. Until then, his anti-American bluster is like the toy soldier on his desk — just for show.

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That Old Familiar Bern

Even if you loathe Bernie Sanders, you will adore this phenomenal and utterly charming 500-plus page love letter to the state of Vermont and its people. Superbly written—Chiasson is a Wellesley College English professor and a well-known poet—it is also immersively researched, since Chiasson, who's now 55, grew up in Burlington during the 1980s when Sanders served as the small city's mayor for eight years. The only child of a struggling single mom, Chiasson interweaves his own teenage memories with Sanders's unlikely political rise, and the result is as compelling and enjoyable a book as you will encounter this year, or any other.

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When Trotsky Got the Axe

Most readers of Josh Ireland's Death of Trotsky will already know the basic outline of the story: Leon Trotsky falls out with Joseph Stalin after Vladimir Lenin’s death in 1924. He proves no match to Stalin; his faction loses critical Politburo debates; he is exiled, eventually lands in Mexico City, where he is assassinated on August 20, 1940, by a Stalin agent, wielding a pickaxe to the skull, no less. His assassin, Ramon Mercader, had wormed his way into Trotsky's inner circle while at the same time serving as an agent of Stalin's secret police. He would be jailed in Mexico while treated like a hero in the Soviet Union.

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Into the Woods

I’ve never been to Maine, and all of the hikes I’ve ever taken can be tallied on one hand. Yet, somehow, in reading How to Survive in the Woods, Kat Rosenfield’s latest thriller, I find myself transported to a dense stretch of forest somewhere along the Appalachian Trail. Not the postcard version, the one with signposts and day-hikers and lunchboxes, but something far more oppressive: a landscape that feels closed in on itself, watchful, sentient. In Rosenfield’s hands, the wilderness does not just house the action, but it participates in it, conspiring with whatever darkness her characters carry within them.

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