China's 35 million incels face bleak future of state-run AI 'romance' — are American men next?



In China today, there are more single men than the combined total population of Australia and Singapore. Thirty-five million “leftover” males, the legacy of a once-celebrated one-child policy and a cultural obsession with sons, are now wandering through life invisible, unwanted, and alone.

The government’s solution? Dating camps. Week-long romantic boot camps for men to learn how to talk to women, brush their teeth, and hopefully get lucky with one of the few women available.

It’s not satire. It’s state policy. And it reeks of desperation.

While China’s numbers are uniquely staggering, the West is heading in the exact same direction.

In some provinces, officials are subsidizing flirtation seminars. Men — mostly from rural backgrounds, working low-paid jobs — are taught how to make eye contact, speak without trembling, and understand female preferences. They practice smiling. They are warned not to talk about tractors, dead relatives, or pig feed on a first date.

Fear of incels

Local governments are pitching this as a social stability initiative, because too many single men in a society often mean unrest, crime, and, eventually, revolution. The Communist Party may not believe in God, but it definitely believes in the threat of incels.

Let’s stop and define that word before it gets distorted by the usual suspects. Incel — short for “involuntary celibate” — doesn’t mean terrorist or keyboard troll, no matter how loudly feminist bloggers try to paint it that way. It means exactly what it says: men who want a relationship but can’t get one.

Not by choice, but because they’ve drawn the short straw — genetically, financially, socially, or all three. In China, there are tens of millions of them, walking proof that when a society turns love into a transaction, only the top bidders get through the door.

Feminism's lab leak

The reason dating camps exist is simple: Everything else has failed. Chinese women, especially those in cities, just aren’t interested. Why would they be? They’ve spent decades leapfrogging men in education and career status. Raised on a steady diet of Korean dramas, Western rom-coms, and aspirational Instagram reels, they now see marriage less as a necessity and more as a downgrade.

The guy who turns up in worn sneakers, quoting Xi Jinping, still living with his mother, and offering a life of austerity? He’s not Prince Charming. He’s a cautionary tale. And yes, China might look sealed off from the West, but don’t be fooled. The mind virus of modern feminism, which escaped from a university lab somewhere in California, leaked through the global media pipeline and infected everything it touched.

It told women they deserve everything and owe the world nothing, that motherhood is a trap, men are optional, children are a nuisance, and career is salvation. And now even in Beijing, you’ll find women with sky-high expectations and an allergic-like reaction to commitment.

An impossible standard

Today, to qualify as marriage material in China, a man must not only own a home (in one of the most inflated property markets on earth) and earn a steady wage. He also must be tall, handsome, emotionally literate, domestically competent, family-minded, and — critically — politically invisible to a regime scanning constantly for subversives and problematics.

It’s a checklist designed not by facts but by fiction. And for millions of men, the message is blindingly clear: You're not good enough and never will be. So they retreat. Not to the village, but to the screen.

More and more are turning to AI girlfriends, chatbots programmed to listen, flatter, and never say “ew.” It’s not love. It’s code in a dress. But unlike real women, she won’t ghost you for being 5'5" and earning less than a guy selling boiled eggs off a scooter.

Sound familiar, American reader?

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  Photo by Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Don't laugh

Because while China’s numbers are uniquely staggering, the West is heading in the exact same direction, just with better PR. The birth rate is plummeting. Marriage is on life support. Millions of young men in the U.S., U.K., and Australia are quietly disappearing into online worlds, their real ones offering nothing but rejection and ridicule.

We laugh at China’s “virtual girlfriend” industry, where AI chatbots simulate love for lonely bachelors. But those same bots now dominate Western app stores too. Replika. EVA AI. Nomi. The West isn’t mocking China. We’re beta-testing the same collapse.

In both East and West, the crisis isn’t really about dating. It’s about worth and meaning. A generation of men — especially those without degrees, city jobs, or six-figure paychecks — have been quietly told they’re surplus. Not needed as protectors. Not wanted as providers. Not seen as viable partners.

In China, it’s a demographic failure. In America, it’s cultural warfare dressed up as progress: “Do better,” “toxic masculinity,” “the future is female.”

Eradicating mutual need

China has its dating boot camps and AI waifus whispering sweet nothings in Mandarin. America has OnlyFans, SSRIs, and emotional detox tutorials from 23-year-old YouTubers. But none of it touches the core problem: We’ve waged a full-scale war on traditional male value. You can’t shame a man into being lovable. And you can’t seminar your way out of a dating market that treats him like a broken appliance.

The dating camps won’t work. You can’t reverse decades of isolation, emasculation, and techno-distraction with a weekend crash course on how to compliment a woman’s hair without sounding creepy. The deeper issue is that men and women no longer need each other in the same way they used to. That need has been severed, replaced by individualism on steroids, rising costs of living, and the dopamine drip of digital attention.

So we raise women to believe they should never rely on anyone. And we raise men to believe no one will ever rely on them. Then we stare blankly at the birth charts when neither wants to start a family.

Coming (non)-attractions

And if you think the CCP’s dating camps sound bleak, just wait until a U.S. senator proposes government-subsidized speed dating in Youngstown, Ohio, with tax rebates for every successful match. The disease is spreading. Fertility in the West is collapsing almost as fast as China’s. And our men aren’t just failing to marry. They’re failing to care. About women. About themselves. About the future.

We are witnessing the slow, quiet unmaking of civilizational continuity.

Thirty-five million forgotten men in China aren't just China’s problem. This is a preview, a grim symptom of a larger decay: post-industrial societies that gutted meaning, mocked fatherhood, pathologized masculinity, and outsourced intimacy to machines.

What remains are men no longer needed by anyone and women no longer impressed by anything. There is no app for that. No seminar. No quick fix. Only a rather brutal reckoning.

Conservative women have decided they're better looking than liberals



Many young women have had enough of being told men can be in their locker rooms, that being alone is better, and that Republicans want to take their rights away.

In fact, hundreds of thousands of conservatives — particularly in big cities — have been searching for alternatives to transactional dating experiences that push liberal indoctrination, which has included banning guns and forced gender ideology, as part of matchmaking.

'It's OK to take up space, have fun, look good, and still stand firm in your values.'

The counterculture has even swung in the online dating marketplace with the popularity of an app called Date Right Stuff. Launched in 2022, the app for conservative singles has around 400,000 downloads, according to co-founder Dan Huff.

Huff told the New York Post that after President Trump's re-election, the app saw a download boom of "tens of thousands," which has only helped his team focus on getting conservatives out and meeting each other.

"There’s a spark in New York now, a reawakening," Huff added, noting that he has helped organize events for conservatives in blue cities with "hundreds of attendees."

With the stated goal of letting conservatives know they are not alone in Democratic strongholds, the app spawned another not-so-liberal venture: a female entrepreneur's attempt at popularizing traditional dating by hosting events that openly boast conservatives are better looking than liberals.

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Raquel Debono puts these gatherings together and unabashedly calls them "Make America Hot Again."

Debono stresses that she is focused on "what actually works: meeting in person."

"It's the most traditional, genuinely human way to connect," Debono told Blaze News.

The 29-year-old is actually the former chief marketing officer of Date Right Stuff but says her vision expanded into its own movement, away from dating apps.

"Dating apps, for all their promises, have made dating transactional, isolating, and shallow. They're what's ruined dating, not meeting face to face. My events flip that script and remind people that real chemistry doesn't happen behind a screen."

Debono hosted a NYC party in May and had no problem drawing out notable attendees. The host was pictured alongside popular female influencers like Paula Scanlan, a former NCAA swimmer turned women's sports activist, and Christine Clark, a conservative commentator and podcast host.

Sporting a "Make America Hot Again" hat, Debono says she has found success in helping people build "real connections."

"If that means being 'hot' and confident while doing it? Even better. I'm showing that you can be young, right-leaning, and still be the life of the party — that's what scares [liberals] most."

Debono expressed her desire to enforce the same, basic idea through her events and commentary: "It's OK to take up space, have fun, look good, and still stand firm in your values."

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  Photo by Jakub Porzycki/NurPhoto via Getty Images

 

Blaze News asked Justine Brooke Murray, a conservative host and former Miss Central Jersey 2024, if right-wing-themed dating apps and meet-ups represent a moral contradiction for conservative women.

"Of course, people shouldn't be calling themselves 'hot,' but looking good is not a crime," Murray retorted. "How else are people going to meet and truly get to know each other, without opportunities for it? Mixers like these are considered old-fashioned, and frankly, kosher in an online age that bred my generation to think hooking up with random people they 'meet' on an app is normal."

Murray agreed that making America "hot again," and what it represents, is the right way to combat "vapid" Marxists who want to center society around the concept of "oppression" and posting "edited, scantily clad pictures on Tinder."

As well, the influencer vehemently rejected the idea that the conservative gatherings were just another way for women to get attention.

"Attention-seeking would be women posting those pictures for quick affirmation. And on social media, you never know who the dirty old guy (or woman) on the other end of the screen actually is."

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Putting Political Litmus Tests In Your Dating App Bio Is A Red Flag

When people only want political 'discussions' that confirm their biases, they make the vulnerability that relationships require impossible.

New York Times Columnist Perfectly Sums Up Post #MeToo Dating Woes

Is it any wonder men might be disinclined to 'put in some effort'?

Digital castration: Why real men should ditch dating apps



“It’s convenient, but I like to see the things I’m buying in person before I spend my money on them.”

This is one of the most common complaints about the rise of Amazon and same-day delivery services. After all, we want to try on a pair of jeans before we buy them or physically see the apples at the grocery store so we don’t get bruised ones.

Dating and marriage should be a beautiful, loving process. But online, it becomes as predatory as LinkedIn.

But why doesn’t this same principle apply to dating?

In the digital age, online dating has become the standard method of meeting for adults seeking a serious relationship. Research shows that 10% of married adults in the U.S. met their spouses on a dating app, with that number rising to nearly 20% for those under 30. Further, 53% of people under 30 have used a dating app at some point.

This trend is no longer a rare, last-ditch attempt to find a partner, but has become the overwhelmingly normalized expectation for meeting a significant other.

'Love' on demand

At first glance, online dating seems harmless, if not beneficial.

It allows people to distinguish religious beliefs, physique preferences, and long-term relationship goals through a quick swipe through someone’s profile. This convenience can help prevent the awkward incompatibility of a butcher asking out a vegan.

But the cost of this commodity is authenticity. Fairy tales and rom-coms have a reputation for their tacky love-at-first-sight stories, where two people's eyes meet, someone tells a good joke, and a spark is lit between them. Many people's parents and grandparents met their spouses this way. For generations, high school sweethearts and chance encounters were the start of a typical love story.

The problem with online dating apps is that they take the humanity out of relationships. Individuals are trying to sell themselves, so they spend time crafting carefully manicured versions of themselves. They edit photos, reuse their friends’ witty one-liners, and leave out unattractive imperfections. Online dating is much more akin to a game of "Sims," where people become characters with hand-selected features who lack any shortcomings. Tinder users report going on two to four dates per week, often with different potential partners.

The process has become impersonal, with users trying to meet as many potential matches as possible in a desperate attempt to find someone who fits their desires.

Beta mode, activated

This detached style of relationship-building has completely removed masculinity from dating.

It begins with a lack of courage. Dating apps remove the age-old anxiety of just going up and talking to her. Men no longer have to initiate face-to-face contact. Instead, they can send half-hearted text messages behind the comfort of their phones.

It’s a small change, but it has meaningful impacts. It symbolizes waning gallantry.

The removal of physical interaction creates a disparity between reality and fiction. About 57% of women under 30 have received unsolicited explicit messages on dating apps. Without the corporeal link between two individuals, it becomes much easier for men to jump into the murky waters of unchecked vulgarity. The male attributes of confidence and leadership are used in perverted ways that ruin the chances of building meaningful relationships as ordained by God.

It’s not the fault of men.

This is the exploitative nature of online dating. Dating and marriage should be a beautiful, loving process. But online, it becomes as predatory as LinkedIn.

Seeking out a partner should be about finding someone with similar values, shared experiences, and who gives you butterflies. Instead, online dating turns the process into another networking system. People must pull from a handful of photos, a bit of basic information, and a few brief sentences about hobbies to sum up their entire being.

This is why online dating looking a lot like online shopping. Now, people swipe left for the most insignificant offenses, which Gen Z calls "the Ick." It's a superficial process that doesn’t rely on creating a genuine connection. It only fuels the ego.

Death of duty

Online dating, however, does result in a significant number of long-term serious relationships — but fewer and fewer marriages.

As growing numbers of young people turn to apps to find their partners, marriage rates among this group have significantly fallen. Worse, the proportion of young couples who have children has reached almost historic lows in the U.S.

Traditionally, men have always been the leaders in a relationship. They’re the ones who get down on one knee; they’re the ones tasked with protecting and providing for their families. Online dating slowly chips away at cultivating these types of men.

Relationships are built on responsibility. Without the authority of masculinity, these relationships are increasingly less fruitful. People are more likely to live with their partners without ever getting married. And if a couple do marry, they’re less likely to have children.

The burden of responsibility is cast aside because masculinity’s value has been degraded.

The sacred chase

Familial relationships are crucial to maintaining a healthy, balanced society. They are the building blocks of communities, the biblically ordained gift that structures Western civilization.

As online dating becomes the norm, it hides crucial elements of the human spirit. For all of human history, men learned to overcome their fear of the beautiful girl rejecting them by holding on to the hope that she might agree to a date. The uneasiness allowed for something holy to arise.

But the self-satisfaction created by flipping through people's profiles is the mark of an age held hostage by technology. If you don’t want the online food delivery service to leave bruised fruit on your doorstep, you should go to the farmers' market and pick some out for yourself.

Maybe while you’re there, you’ll walk by someone who seems nice and get the courage to go up and talk to her.

Why You Should Let Someone Set You Up (Even If It Sounds Horrible)

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3 unpopular dating truths I'd go back to tell my younger self



Growing up in the Christian community, girls especially were encouraged to write their list: “What do you want in a husband?”

Like most girls, I listed things like, “godly, tall, handsome, prays without ceasing, plays guitar, drives a truck.”

As I focused on this fictional dream guy, someone asked me, “Are you mirroring those same qualities in yourself that you want in a guy?” No, I wasn’t praying nonstop. No, I could barely play guitar. No, I had a grandma car. No, I wasn’t a bombshell. No, I wasn’t as godly as I apparently expected my future spouse to be. (I was, however, awkwardly tall as a teen.)

The Christian dating world can be a zoo, and I’d argue it’s much tougher now than it used to be. From all the stories I’ve heard, our grandparents' generation tackled dating with directness and simplicity, though I’m sure it was not perfect. I’ve been married for nearly four years, so there’s little marriage advice I can fork out, but I’ve had my fair share of millennial dating experiences. I’ve done it poorly, and I’ve done it well.

Dating doesn’t have to be agonizing, hard, or confusing. Here are the top three pieces of dating advice I’d go back and give myself if I could.

1. Get healthy first

Do all you can to get healthy — spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

It wasn’t until I was in my late 20s that I went to Christian counseling after yet another breakup. My counselor asked me the hard questions. She made me self-reflect and dig deep until we found the root issues.

When I started counseling, I didn’t understand why guys I had dated treated me poorly or didn’t value me or would say rude things to me out of spite. It baffled me that this scenario kept repeating itself like a bad nightmare.

Throughout counseling, I realized this endless cycle was entirely a "me" problem. I wasn’t some limp fish that had no control over my life or dating decisions. I had to take full responsibility for allowing myself to be treated poorly and end the vicious unhealthy dating cycle once and for all. My unhealthy thinking patterns and lack of self-worth played a momentous role in the kinds of men I attracted and was attracted to.

While we date and wait, we should strive to become holier and healthier.

Once I began valuing myself, I didn’t settle for mediocre guys or half-hearted dating efforts. Everything changed once I rooted out the lies that I believed about God, as well as my own unhealthy thought patterns.

Even though I would publicly profess how God is good, deep down I didn’t believe it. I believed the lie that “God isn’t really good. He doesn’t want good things for me.”

It seemed so easy for other girls to get married. After all, most of my friends already were, so I didn’t understand why I had such bad “luck.” I felt like God would dangle a carrot stick in front of me, and when I’d reach for it, he’d instantly snatch it away. It seemed cruel. The waiting seemed endless, and the rounds of dating grew exhausting, especially as I got into my late 20s.

But the moment I realized that I was believing a key lie about God, everything changed. God wasn’t snatching anything from me but rather protecting me, growing me, and transforming me.

A huge burden lifted off my shoulders and chains were broken once I confessed this lie and realized I had been feeding it.

I began to live my life weightless from believing that God didn’t care about my desires to get married and have a family one day. He wasn’t taunting me with these guys I dated. Rather, God had an incredible plan for my future, and it didn’t involve them. I began to wholeheartedly trust in God’s sovereignty and timing, and those couple years of waiting after counseling and before I met my now-husband were some of the best years of my life.

We are called to be faithful before we’re called to be married.

2. Ignoring red flags doesn't make them green

Don’t ignore red flags; it doesn’t make them go away. I learned this the hard way because I didn’t just ignore red flags, I bulldozed right over them.

How many unhealthy and stagnate relationships continue because we ignore the bright flashing lights? Far too many. They are warning signs that beg us to stop and re-evaluate a relationship. Ignoring them is a sign that we are in denial. Call a spade a spade.

No matter how amazing someone might appear or how many good qualities they might have, if there’s a red flag — it’s time to pause.

Not ignoring red flags may seem like such a simple concept, but it wasn’t for me during my dating years, and it’s not for a lot of Christians I’ve talked to. When someone doesn’t think it’s a big deal to have an addiction, that’s a red flag. When someone treats you like garbage, that’s a red flag. When someone has no boundaries with the opposite sex, that’s a red flag.

Marriage amplifies problems we battle in singleness, so we must be hard at work rooting sin out of our lives. One older woman shared with me that she rushed into marriage, ignoring all the red flags because she thought she’d never have another opportunity to get married. She’s now divorced because her husband had been unfaithful most of their marriage, and she now regrets her decision deeply.

I was almost 30 years old when I got married because that’s what God had planned for me. But I can look back with utter thankfulness that I waited instead of rushing into marriage out of fear.

Dating doesn’t have to be a drawn-out affair if you’re intentional about it. But get married for the right reasons, and don’t dismiss those “this seems off” gut feelings and warning signs.

3. Give each other permission to ask hard questions

Have hard conversations: Give each other permission to ask the hard questions in the early phase of dating.

Before our first date, my now-husband asked, “Can we give each other permission to ask the hard questions?” We both were believers who dated for the intention of marriage, so we weren’t interested in wasting time by beating around the bush. Why would we want to ask the deal-breaker questions later down the road when we’re already emotionally too far gone? That would be a waste of time and energy.

Shockingly, I’ve heard of engaged couples at marriage counseling sessions who never asked each other how many kids they wanted or if they had debt.

While dating, my now-husband and I asked each other everything from theology to money to how we wanted to raise our children to what we envisioned the future to look like. Not everything has to be shared in great detail (especially at the beginning), but being transparent and clear with each other from the get-go is incredibly important. Plus, it builds trust.

Money issues are one of the biggest causes of divorce, so we should be open and honest about our finances, too. God (and Dave Ramsey) have a lot to say about handling money in a biblical way. By asking these types of questions, it can help get the hard stuff out of the way and make dating more fun.

Marrying someone who aligns with your worldview and your values is the glue that holds a marriage together. A good marriage can’t be built without it. Beauty fades, attraction can whither, emotions can come and go.

My mentor in college told me, “Don’t ever go down the aisle unless you can run down it.” We shouldn’t have any lingering questions or anything we’re holding back, either. A strong marriage is built on trust, which only comes by asking the hard questions and having those conversations long before you say, “I do.”

As I matured, my spouse “wish list” went from lengthy and unattainable to bare-bones with a few non-negotiables. Oddly enough, I became more selective as I got older. Not necessarily picky, but I wasn’t willing to settle because I knew not being married was better than being in a miserable marriage.

Dating should be fun and for the purpose of marriage, but strong relationships come by putting God first and asking the hard questions and not ignoring red flags.

While we date and wait, we should strive to become holier and healthier. God gives good gifts to us, and waiting for the right person can be one of them.

Scorned By Leftists For Trying To Live A Peaceful Life, Ben From Love Is Blind Is All Of Us

A couple on Love Is Blind shows no matter how much the average person concedes, leftists are never satisfied without total compliance.

Should women date gamers? Should gamers watch 'Titanic'?



A couple of weeks ago, Liz Wheeler went viral on X for a post that listed men’s least attractive hobbies according to women.

While Wheeler (and now the community note) clarified that the statistics presented were satirical, it still managed to stir up quite a bit of controversy. The top hobby on the imaginary “most hated” list was video games.

What if regularly spending six consecutive hours playing video games isn’t bad because it’s unattractive but because it’s actually unhealthy?

Predictable gender war crossfire ensued. Men hissed back:

“Women like you assume your company is more interesting and valuable than a good video game. You are incorrect.”

“Women really do hate when men are happy doing something that isn’t centered around them.”

“Well, we're not going to sit around and watch the Titanic for the tenth time.”

On one hand, it is understandable to feel defensive when you perceive that something you personally enjoy or take pride in is generalized and belittled. This is the essence of stereotyping, and no one has the stomach for it any more. On the other, is the response proportional to the perceived offense, which was simply an expression of preference?

The internet has become a battleground for gendered infighting, and the constant bickering has done nothing but send us farther into our respective corners. We all want to generalize but not be generalized. Meme warfare offends this sensibility. It’s not for the faint of heart.

But — and hear me out — stereotypes exist for a reason. What if regularly spending six consecutive hours playing video games isn’t bad because it’s unattractive but because it’s actually unhealthy? In other words, what if it’s unattractive to women because it’s bad for men, not bad for men because it’s unattractive to women?

There's growing evidence to suggest that gaming can be just as addictive as gambling, leading to withdrawal from and loss of interest in social life and problems at school and work.

According to recent study on what's been termed internet gaming disorder:

Current prevalence estimates of IGD vary widely (2–15%). ... Prevalence may be underestimated due to low response (surveys take time away from gaming) and underreporting (a criterion of IGD is hiding one's extent of internet gaming). Yet, even by conservative estimates, with 318 million people in the US playing digital games, at least 5 million (probably many more) meet criteria for IGD, experiencing personal, social, and academic difficulties.

Perhaps women’s intuition isn’t as shallow as some have made it seem. Perhaps hard-core gaming, as the study suggests, indicates a deeper problem that impedes long-term social success in life. It’s too easy to dismiss Wheeler and the women who agree with her as nagging busybodies who just don’t like it when men “have fun.” Maybe some of them are. But maybe, deep down, some of these guys don’t like their reflection. Accountability is a bitter pill. Distraction is easier.

That said, on the particular level, does it really matter if a guy is a gamer as long as he isn’t hopelessly addicted and antisocial about it? If a gamer finds a woman and they fall madly in love, is he still “unattractive”? Certainly not to his sweetheart. And conversely, if you’re a woman who finds gaming unattractive, don’t date a gamer. It really is that simple. Who cares?

As one commenter said, “Attraction is subjective; hobbies don’t define someone’s worth or attractiveness. Crazy thought: Maybe we let people enjoy what they love without reducing their value based on personal preferences for entertainment.” Well said.

The internet's best darn advice column!



Who is the happiest person you know? What are their character and lifestyle like? Is anyone actually happy?

The idea of “happiness” in contemporary culture is often a misguided notion, a vague concept meaning something like “unadulterated contentedness devoid of suffering” that tends to leave people endlessly unsatisfied whenever they use it a a guiding principle around which to structure their lives. Under this framework, any amount of dissatisfaction is unacceptable, any hardship an attack on the elusive search for “happiness.” A life devoid of any pain or discomfort at all is an impossible standard for anyone. In that sense, no one can be “happy” all the time. Unless they have an e-course to sell you.

A more meaningful metric to orient life satisfaction around is something like whether someone is at peace with the overall trajectory of his or her life. The good news is that there are plenty of people who fit this description. The bad (or also good, depending on how you see things) news is that their lives generally look similar. They have a sense of purpose that gives their lives meaning, whether that’s from work or family life; they have close relationships, usually both in the form of family and friendships; they are in good health; and they generally have a sense of gratitude and a glass-half-full outlook toward whatever comes their way. And it goes without saying that none of them are Slavic.

For additional insights into the importance of purpose in life over everything else, I highly recommend reading Viktor Frankl’s "Man’s Search for Meaning." It is a useful antidote to the rhetoric of of “happiness” that pervades our culture.

What are your thoughts on dating people with different class backgrounds? I'm a second-generation immigrant who grew up in an East Asian household. Despite a late start in life, I now live in San Francisco, am successful and fit, and have been getting a lot of attention from the ladies, many of whom come from very different class backgrounds and run in different friend circles. I want to marry based on love and mutual trust, so these superficialities don’t bother me much, but I worry there may be misunderstandings due to the differences. What are your thoughts?

First of all, congratulations on being the only man in San Francisco capable of getting not only one but multiple dates. This is a true accomplishment.

Many studies have backed the hypothesis of “assortative mating,” which is the idea that people tend to pair off with people like themselves, including the same level of attractiveness and socio-economic status.

I think there is probably something of a disconnect between how your perceive yourself (outsider, immigrant) and how the women you are dating perceive you. One of the unique elements of American society rarely found anywhere else is that of social mobility. Maybe you were born into one type of social class, but you have moved into a different class by virtue of your own merit. Water seeks its own level, and whether you are aware of it or not, the dating marketplace has probably been matching you appropriately.

It is true that different family backgrounds could present unique challenges to a relationship, as could different cultural backgrounds, but rarely are these insurmountable. Now, if you were living in an Amish community and trying to marry into the Kardashian family, that would probably cause serious consternation. But a tech bro marrying the daughter of a tech bro? That’s just San Francisco.

Will autistic men ever find love?

Richard Feynman had three wives, so the answer is: absolutely! (If you don’t agree with this diagnosis of the great physicist, you have not read his memoirs.) Many, many autistic men have found love. I have a dear friend who, once he embraced his eccentric personality and became more confident in himself, has found himself faced with more interest from the fairer sex than he knows how to manage.

There are certain difficulties autistic men will have to navigate, of course, but they are not impossible. If the hit show "Love on the Spectrum" has taught us anything, it’s that even on the far end of the spectrum, there is a lid for every pot.

Autistic men have two advantages in the dating world. The first is that they have an array of special interests about which they can speak passionately. Contrary to what feminist lore tells us, women love mansplaining. It signals competence and intelligence, two qualities women often look for in a man. The second advantage is that the occasional disregard for social norms that autistic men often demonstrate can be very charming in its display of naïveté. It comes off as genuine and earnest — both of which are hard to find in a dating market full of disingenuous would-be Don Juans.

Of course, not every woman will be taken with the idiosyncrasies of the autistic man, but there are plenty who will be, and you’re only looking for one.

Are traditional religious injunctions against pride and vanity a necessary means of restraining narcissism, or do they prevent gifted individuals from having the confidence necessary to achieve their potential?

Discovering Nietzsche and its consequences have been a disaster for teenage boys everywhere. Leaving aside theological debates about the cardinal sins, one could argue from a pragmatic standpoint that major religions have evolved as successful social technologies that have allowed civilization to function by minimizing friction between individuals. Curtailing pride is one means of indirectly curtailing the downstream effects of other cardinal sins like envy, greed, or wrath. Few, if any, sins exist in a vacuum.

That being said, I would argue that no truly gifted individual with a strong will has ever let any injunction against pride and vanity, religious or otherwise, hold him or her back. Just like that “gifted” program in school did not make anyone a burnout. Barring extreme circumstances, the only person holding you back is you.

Why would I take advice from a minor goddess who was exiled to a remote island by her own father?

Because I have had thousands of years of observation of the human condition and its various iterations to draw upon. And because no one else will tell you the truth.