‘If he wanted to, he would’: Allie Beth Stuckey’s Valentine's advice for Christian women



Loving wife and mother to three beautiful daughters, Allie Beth Stuckey is well-versed in the love department — and so is her husband, Timothy. And if you’re looking for some advice this Valentine’s Day, look no further, because they have it in spades.

The happy couple met after college in Athens, Georgia, when they continued to bump into each other at the gym.

“We were working out at the gym that we were both going to at the time, and it was just great just to see her, and we hit it off right away and started talking,” Timothy explains. “One thing led to another, led to dating, and then to here we are now.”


After a class at the gym, the pair talked for four hours before they decided it was time to go on an official date.

“I left a voicemail I think for my friend, who’s also named Allie, and I said, ‘I know the man that I’m going to marry.’ And she thought that was crazy at the time because we weren’t even dating yet, but I just knew,” Stuckey says.

While their love story worked out near seamlessly, many others have not found that love yet — or if they have, they have some questions.

“Is the phrase, ‘If he wanted to, he would,’ always true when it comes to guys and dating?” Allie asks Timothy.

“If he’s not ready to commit, then he might not want to ever commit. So I do think there’s some validity to that in a way that,” Timothy answers. “Maybe he’s trying to put together some things if starting a business or has a certain level of his job. Now, I do think there's still some validity to just doing it together, but maybe he is trying to line some things up to make sure that he can be the husband and provider for you that he needs to be.”

However, when it comes to the smaller things, like a sweet good morning text or a show of affection on Valentine's Day, Timothy believes there’s less room for excuses.

“If he wanted to sweep you off your feet, then he would. Like if he really genuinely wanted to do that, I do think he would,” he tells Allie. “I was thoughtful, tried to be thoughtful, because I wanted to impress you. If he was trying to impress you, then he would.”

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Who is the happiest person you know? What are their character and lifestyle like? Is anyone actually happy?

The idea of “happiness” in contemporary culture is often a misguided notion, a vague concept meaning something like “unadulterated contentedness devoid of suffering” that tends to leave people endlessly unsatisfied whenever they use it a a guiding principle around which to structure their lives. Under this framework, any amount of dissatisfaction is unacceptable, any hardship an attack on the elusive search for “happiness.” A life devoid of any pain or discomfort at all is an impossible standard for anyone. In that sense, no one can be “happy” all the time. Unless they have an e-course to sell you.

A more meaningful metric to orient life satisfaction around is something like whether someone is at peace with the overall trajectory of his or her life. The good news is that there are plenty of people who fit this description. The bad (or also good, depending on how you see things) news is that their lives generally look similar. They have a sense of purpose that gives their lives meaning, whether that’s from work or family life; they have close relationships, usually both in the form of family and friendships; they are in good health; and they generally have a sense of gratitude and a glass-half-full outlook toward whatever comes their way. And it goes without saying that none of them are Slavic.

For additional insights into the importance of purpose in life over everything else, I highly recommend reading Viktor Frankl’s "Man’s Search for Meaning." It is a useful antidote to the rhetoric of of “happiness” that pervades our culture.

What are your thoughts on dating people with different class backgrounds? I'm a second-generation immigrant who grew up in an East Asian household. Despite a late start in life, I now live in San Francisco, am successful and fit, and have been getting a lot of attention from the ladies, many of whom come from very different class backgrounds and run in different friend circles. I want to marry based on love and mutual trust, so these superficialities don’t bother me much, but I worry there may be misunderstandings due to the differences. What are your thoughts?

First of all, congratulations on being the only man in San Francisco capable of getting not only one but multiple dates. This is a true accomplishment.

Many studies have backed the hypothesis of “assortative mating,” which is the idea that people tend to pair off with people like themselves, including the same level of attractiveness and socio-economic status.

I think there is probably something of a disconnect between how your perceive yourself (outsider, immigrant) and how the women you are dating perceive you. One of the unique elements of American society rarely found anywhere else is that of social mobility. Maybe you were born into one type of social class, but you have moved into a different class by virtue of your own merit. Water seeks its own level, and whether you are aware of it or not, the dating marketplace has probably been matching you appropriately.

It is true that different family backgrounds could present unique challenges to a relationship, as could different cultural backgrounds, but rarely are these insurmountable. Now, if you were living in an Amish community and trying to marry into the Kardashian family, that would probably cause serious consternation. But a tech bro marrying the daughter of a tech bro? That’s just San Francisco.

Will autistic men ever find love?

Richard Feynman had three wives, so the answer is: absolutely! (If you don’t agree with this diagnosis of the great physicist, you have not read his memoirs.) Many, many autistic men have found love. I have a dear friend who, once he embraced his eccentric personality and became more confident in himself, has found himself faced with more interest from the fairer sex than he knows how to manage.

There are certain difficulties autistic men will have to navigate, of course, but they are not impossible. If the hit show "Love on the Spectrum" has taught us anything, it’s that even on the far end of the spectrum, there is a lid for every pot.

Autistic men have two advantages in the dating world. The first is that they have an array of special interests about which they can speak passionately. Contrary to what feminist lore tells us, women love mansplaining. It signals competence and intelligence, two qualities women often look for in a man. The second advantage is that the occasional disregard for social norms that autistic men often demonstrate can be very charming in its display of naïveté. It comes off as genuine and earnest — both of which are hard to find in a dating market full of disingenuous would-be Don Juans.

Of course, not every woman will be taken with the idiosyncrasies of the autistic man, but there are plenty who will be, and you’re only looking for one.

Are traditional religious injunctions against pride and vanity a necessary means of restraining narcissism, or do they prevent gifted individuals from having the confidence necessary to achieve their potential?

Discovering Nietzsche and its consequences have been a disaster for teenage boys everywhere. Leaving aside theological debates about the cardinal sins, one could argue from a pragmatic standpoint that major religions have evolved as successful social technologies that have allowed civilization to function by minimizing friction between individuals. Curtailing pride is one means of indirectly curtailing the downstream effects of other cardinal sins like envy, greed, or wrath. Few, if any, sins exist in a vacuum.

That being said, I would argue that no truly gifted individual with a strong will has ever let any injunction against pride and vanity, religious or otherwise, hold him or her back. Just like that “gifted” program in school did not make anyone a burnout. Barring extreme circumstances, the only person holding you back is you.

Why would I take advice from a minor goddess who was exiled to a remote island by her own father?

Because I have had thousands of years of observation of the human condition and its various iterations to draw upon. And because no one else will tell you the truth.

Circe Says: Ancient wisdom for modern problems



Circe is an ancient Greek minor goddess who spends her days on X, chronicling the late-stage American empire and dispensing advice on life and love in the digital era. You can submit your advice questions to her directly at Circe @vocalcry.

Let's say you wanted to escape a cult. Let’s say the cult is academia, to keep things abstract. How would you do it?

When you consider that the number of people with freshly minted PhDs every year far exceeds the number of people who join the Church of Scientology, it is worth asking how academia continues to find young recruits willing to give away years of their productive lives to engage in esoteric rituals in near poverty and social isolation for a slim chance at life-of-the-mind transcendence.

The one quality that most cult members share is that they’re looking for an all-powerful mentor (or, in your case, a dissertation advisor) — a figurative daddy who will reward them when they’re good and scold them when they’re bad. Academics have this in spades. They’ve never developed an identity outside of being the teacher’s pet, and they struggle to make decisions without envisioning what grade they will get on their report card in life.

Leaving academia involves recognizing that you’re in a cult and learning to accept that there is no final report card. The only grade you’ll get in life is pass/fail, which will only be awarded to you by a higher power. If you can come to terms with this, you might have a chance at escape. And if you can’t, joining a tech startup is always an option.

I have read many 'red-pill' books to try to understand what men want. They all seem to be aimed at manipulating a woman’s desire for love to extract intimacy, only to lose interest in the woman afterward. I am losing hope about relationships and genuinely questioning why these men express that their version of true love is harems and cheating. Do any men truly love women? Is this really what love is about?

A healthy relationship with both parents and a normal adolescent romantic awakening: no “red-pill” guru had both. Like all ideologies constructed around a master narrative to explain the world, “red-pill” concepts are founded on a grain of truth and distorted to massive proportions to attract a target audience. In this sense, the “red pill” is no different from Marxism, radical feminism, or any other ideology that preys on minds desperate for clarity in a world that is full of complexity.

It is true that, on average, there are biological and psychological differences between men and women that require a theory of mind to appreciate fully and that being aware of these differences can help bridge the gap between the sexes, especially in the context of a relationship. The “red pill” organizes some of these differences into a seemingly coherent worldview that serves as a basis to justify the manipulation of women by men to often unsavory ends.

It is worth noting, however, that every single “red-pill” guru eventually repents and comes to the conclusion that a monogamous relationship with one woman is more fulfilling than living like a degenerate. Dan Bilzerian is only the most recent in a long line of “red-pill” prodigal sons — without exception, all of these men eventually reach the same conclusion.

It is also worth noting that the average well-socialized, well-adjusted man will never consume red-pill content, let alone create red-pill content. This latter pool of men is the one you should be fishing in when looking for love, which is a very real and wonderful thing. I cannot tell you where or when you will find your Prince Charming, but I can categorically tell you that he will not have internet brainworms.

Are you wasting a girl's time by continuing to date her if, after six months, you can't yet see a future involving marriage but otherwise have no good reason to break up? If so, how to best end things without sounding mean? If not, how long do you wait to see if marital visions develop?

The short answer is yes, and the long answer is also yes.

Most men know when they meet the woman they want to build a future with early on, usually much earlier than six months. If it hasn’t developed, it isn’t likely to develop with the passage of time. If you are looking for a wife (presumably, she’s looking for a husband), then not seeing a future involving marriage IS a good reason to break up. Not only is it a good reason, it’s the best reason.

Every day you spend with a person you don’t see a future with is a day you’re robbing from both of you [time] that can be spent either in search of a spouse or in the company of that spouse. It is never pleasant to end things, but be honest about not seeing a future even if you can only offer vague reasons as to why. A woman will be far less upset about being rejected after six months than about being strung along for years only to eventually break up anyway and hear that you married another woman that you met only six months ago.

Console yourself with the thought that 10 years from now, you’ll both be happily married to other people and that you’re taking a step today to ensure that future. And if the thought of ending up with other people instead of one other makes you sad and regretful, maybe it’s worth reconsidering and buying a ring. But please — no moissanite.

I have a raging desire to set my boss on fire, and I’m exhausted by this and want it to end. How do I get over my desire to set my boss on fire?

Buy a ticket to Burning Man and superimpose your boss’s face onto the burning effigy with the Apple Vision Pro. Or you can just find a new job.

Circe, how do I get over relentless heartbreak?

Barthes and Stendhal exhausted many words on this very dilemma to no avail, but as a 1000+-year-old goddess (though who’s counting), I’ve had centuries to test out various theories (turning your beloved’s object of affection into a sea monster does NOT work), and I’m here to offer practical solutions.

First, give yourself a predetermined period to grieve. Watch sad movies, vent to anyone who will listen, read "The Sorrows of Young Werther" — whatever makes all of those melancholy feelings bubble to the surface. Don’t bury ... them; tragedy cleanses the soul. But you MUST be disciplined about the cut-off time for this period.

Second, do not have any contact with this person. Hide any and all evidence of their existence. Do not stalk their social media. Do not ask your friends about them. For all intents and purposes, you must disappear them from your life.

Third, make a list of everything you dislike about them, even if it’s totally ridiculous minutiae — their shoes, their eyebrows, anything that inspires even mild distaste. Anytime you reminisce about them, read the list. Read it again. Then eat a cookie. This is no longer the time for philosophical musings. You must not be above subjecting yourself to operant conditioning.

Fourth, find a way to distract yourself with something that gives you purpose: work, friends, hobbies, etc. Getting in shape never hurts. Keep busy in a way that feels productive.

If you follow this plan without cheating, you are guaranteed to feel better in about six months. Trust me, if I can get over Glaucus, you can get over anyone.

Ladies: If he wanted to, he would



Is five years too long for a man to wait to propose?

A recent post on X asked users this question and referenced a real relationship between a woman who is 32 and a man who is 35. The relationship has lasted five years, but the man claims he’s not ready to move in with her or “commit.”

Allie Beth Stuckey has an answer, especially considering the post doesn’t give any extenuating circumstances or reasons besides not being ready.

“Based on that knowledge, I am saying goodbye. Goodbye, you break up with him and you move on,” Stuckey says.

“He is a manchild at this point, there is a failure to launch, there is something going on here.”

Stuckey believes that when a man truly loves a woman, committing is a non-issue.

“If he wanted to, he would,” she says.

“He will stop at nothing to pursue you, to secure the relationship, to make sure that you are together forever,” she adds.

However, the age of the two in the relationship referenced is a huge factor in Stuckey’s opinion — as women have a biological clock to consider. Since they’re in their 30s, he is simply wasting her time.

“You are wasting your most fertile years on losers. Do not do that. Do not waste your most fertile years on weak men who will not commit,” she explains.

Stuckey has a parting message for those stuck in relationships with men who won’t commit.

“I know you’re scared of being single, I know you’re scared of being alone, I know that you’re sad because all of your friends are getting married and you’re tired of being the bridesmaid and never the bride,” she says.

“Do not settle. It is better to be single and sad than married and stuck.”


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The 'passport bro' movement is GROWING, and the feminists are TRIGGERED



In an age when traditional values are disappearing and monogamy and masculinity are often villainized, the new “passport bro” phenomenon isn’t all that surprising.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, the Urban Dictionary defines passport bros as “men who have chosen to seek out foreign women, typically from other countries, for relationships. They believe that Western women have been influenced by cultural and societal pressures to behave in a certain way, and that by seeking out foreign women, they can find a more authentic, fulfilling, and harmonious relationship. This is seen as a way to restore the natural balance between feminine and masculine energy, and to avoid the ‘wickedness’ of Western women.”

While the movement has been met with intense backlash for a number of reasons, Lauren Chen doesn’t take issue with the idea of passport bros.

“I don't think anyone should find it strange that someone would move for a greater likelihood of finding a spouse if in this day and age it's totally common to move for a greater likelihood of finding a job,” she explains.

Many have been quick to demonize the concept as a subtype of exploitation and even human trafficking.

Lauren, however, knows that is not the case, because she spent much of her childhood in different parts of Asia. She attended American international schools and knew several families in which Western men and Asian women were happily married.

She remembers hearing these men express that “they enjoyed having an Asian wife because Western women were often too focused on their careers, but since they had money themselves, really what they were looking for was a partner who could complement them, i.e. do something they couldn’t in … staying home with the kids and helping build a happy, healthy home life.”

Further, “not everyone from a developing country is in poverty,” she explains, debunking the idea that the only reason men seek wives overseas is because they want women who need them just to survive.

The other thing Lauren can’t understand is the mentality of Western feminists (who can usually be found ranting on TikTok) condemning passport bros for seeking more traditional relationships.

“If you're this disinterested in the men who are going overseas because you don't want the lifestyle that they're offering, why do you even care?” Lauren asks.

“Like why is it so triggering that a man who you supposedly aren't interested in is also not interested in you? That's what I don't understand,” she continues.

And lastly, criticizing men for going overseas to find a spouse is a giant double standard. “If an American woman were to meet … a rich foreigner who wanted to bring her somewhere exotic that she's never been, that would be literally a romance novel,” Lauren says.

To learn more about the passport bros movement, watch the full clip below


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Survey shows OnlyFans DOOMS relationships



Feminists will tell you that sex work is real work, but your partner might not see it that way.

Lauren Chen reports that a recently released survey demonstrates that being an OnlyFans creator does have negative consequences on your romantic life — even though the average creator is only making about $180 a month.

"If you guys are not yet familiar with OnlyFans,” Chen says, “I admire you.”

OnlyFans is one of the only platforms available that allows adult content, so while it started as a platform similar to SubscribeStar or even YouTube, it has become nearly synonymous with pornographic content.

A survey from XFans Hub asked over 500 OnlyFans creators if they have “found it challenging to maintain a dating life while being an OnlyFans creator,” and the answers were damning.

According to the survey, 21% of creators said it was “not challenging at all,” while 32% reported that it was “somewhat challenging,” and a whopping 47% answered “Yes, it has been very challenging.”

“To be clear, that’s 79% of OnlyFans creators” who “admit that having an OnlyFans account has made their dating lives at least somewhat challenging.”

Chen says that “the assumptions that modern feminism” operates under would have us thinking, “'No it shouldn’t be challenging to maintain a dating life' while being an OnlyFans creator" — but that’s “just one of the many lies that modern feminism has sold women.”

Chen points out that there might be some creators who might not be “looking for a relationship right now,” but “in the future, having had an OnlyFans account is still something that will affect you going forward.”

“So, ask yourself,” she adds, “is it worth prostituting yourself online — degrading yourself online — for on average $180 a month?”


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