I was at my local library recently when I saw something odd on the bulletin board. It looked like a poster for a Drag Queen Story Hour.

They can’t be doing that again? I thought to myself.

Much of drag comedy focuses on the fact that as hard as they try, most men can’t actually pull off impersonating a woman.

In case you don’t remember, Drag Queen Story Hour was one of the most bizarrely inappropriate events ever to appear at your local library.

When these “story hours” first began to proliferate in the late 2010s, the idea of drag queens reading books to very small children set off one of the fiercest battles of the culture wars.

Because it was so transgressive, outrageous, and effective as a way of infuriating the general populace, the proponents of DQSH doubled down on it. They kept pushing it. They founded an NGO. They rammed it down our throats.

Blake Nelson

Queen's gambit

The way DQSH worked: Libraries would hire a professional drag queen to read books to children ages 3 to 11. It was presented to the public as a “fun twist” on the idea of a kindly grandmother or librarian reading to the kids.

The drag queens they hired were adult men from the local area, men who were otherwise employed performing “drag shows” at nightclubs, bars, and private events.

These men dressed up like women — more specifically, super-sexualized women (prostitutes). Then they went on stage and told raunchy stories and sexually explicit jokes. Sometimes they sang songs and did pratfalls, all of which were of a sexual nature.

The understanding was that a drag show would feature explicit sexual content. Which is why they were performed in 21-and-over establishments.

That is, until Drag Queen Story Hour came along. And someone decided that drag queens belonged in libraries, reading to children.

Live, love, laugh

Part of the appeal of drag queens is the humorous sight of a chubby, stubbly, middle-aged man wearing lipstick, mascara, and gigantic false eyelashes. Much of drag comedy focuses on the fact that as hard as they try, most men can’t actually pull off impersonating a woman. And the results of their clumsy failures are often very funny.

Drag shows — or something like them — have appeared in many cultures throughout history. The humor of men pretending to be women is universal. Everyone finds those situations funny.

Everyone, that is, except for 4-year-olds, who might not understand this style of humor just yet. And don’t need to.

The fact is that it would be hard to predict how a small child would react to a professional drag queen in person.

Oh, sure, a child who has been coached and prepped by a progressive parent might enjoy it. But your average child? Especially those under the age of 6? They might be traumatized.

And then doubly so when the adults they usually trust (parents, teachers, librarians) tell them not to be afraid, that it is wrong to feel uncomfortable, that if they have any negative feelings whatsoever about “Miss Wiggles” — who is 6'2", wearing ghoulish makeup, and pretending to be a woman — they are committing a grave moral sin.

Some small children are frightened by the sight of their own parents dressed up in Halloween costumes. Think of what an encounter with “Sashay D. Lite” might do to them.

RELATED: My search for America's last decent public libraries

Joe McNally/Getty Images

Properly checked and vetted

Some conservatives raised the issue that some of these performers might be predators of some kind.

This was met with attacks and smears that conservatives were homophobic, transphobic bigots, hatemongers, etc. Besides, all the drag queens would, of course, be thoroughly screened and vetted.

And yet at a Houston library in 2019, one of the drag queens reading stories to children was found to be a registered child sex offender.

So except for that guy. Everyone else had been properly checked and vetted.

Culture war, wins and losses

Looking back at the original battle over Drag Queen Story Hour ... who actually won?

In my mind, the general public did. Obviously a large majority of people believed DQSH was a bad idea. And the libraries stopped doing it.

But here I was, in my local library, staring at a poster with a Pride flag. And a drag queen. With the words Story Hour on it.

Looking closer, I saw they had changed the name. Now it was called Family Pride Story Hour. It would be specifically for LGBTQ families. A drag queen would be reading the stories. And then there would be a dance.

The suggested age for children attending? “Birth to six years old.”

No rest for the wicked

Ahhh. Those sneaky leftists. They couldn’t let this go. Subjecting infant children to the most grotesque adults they could find was too good a strategy to abandon.

What better way to divide and conquer? To confound and demoralize? They want us to fight over the drag queens again!

My advice is: Don’t do it. Don’t give them what they want. Talk to your librarians ahead of time. Talk to your library’s supervisor.

But be aware: If Family Pride Story Hour is coming to my town, it might well be coming to yours.