Filmmaker R.J. Moeller has a keen sense about people and pairings.

He recalls helping to connect Dennis Prager and comic Adam Carolla, two media personalities with wildly different skill sets and backgrounds. Yet Prager and Carolla clicked, and they toured the country as a very odd but endearing couple. They later co-starred in the 2019 documentary “No Safe Spaces,” which Moeller produced.

Most documentaries don’t move the cultural needle, but 'Call Sign Courage' gave its star a real-life happy ending.

Moeller also sensed something special about Lt. Col. Matt Lohmeier, a former Air Force pilot fired by the Biden administration in 2021 for slamming the military’s DEI culture on “The Steve Gruber Show.”

Lohmeier decried the military’s diversity initiatives, citing their ties to critical race theory.

That led Moeller to produce “Call Sign Courage: The Matt Lohmeier Story.” The documentary, recently promoted by X’s own Elon Musk on the social media platform, recalls Lohmeier’s battle against a formidable system.

He lost his job at Space Force and his pension, but the military veteran wouldn’t give up. His battle is the heart of “Call Sign Courage." That story felt like a natural for the right documentary filmmaker, Moeller recalls, including Lohmeier’s faith and family connections.

'Jon Hamm meets John Wayne'

“I thought, ‘This dude is special.’ The character, the depth, what he did when no one else wasn’t looking,” Moeller says. It didn’t hurt that his subject “looked like Jon Hamm meets John Wayne.”

Except Lohmeier wasn’t eager for his close-up.

“These news cycles move fast. He was happy to be forgotten about ... he was exploring taking a high school teaching position,” Moeller says.

A mutual friend connected them all the same, and the filmmaker convinced Lohmeier to share his story with the world via film.

“If you give me 12 months ... we’re going to make you a film,” the producer told him, sealing the deal.

Crucial allies

Funding is always tight for documentary filmmakers, but Lohmeier’s story attracted the Heritage Foundation’s attention, which helped pick up some critical fees. The nonprofit helped release the film free on X for a limited time last week. Now, the film — directed by Marshall Lee, who cut his teeth editing movies like "What Is a Woman?" and "Am I Racist?" — is available on Apple TV, Prime Video, and other VOD platforms.

Musk screened the film and helped arrange for the free X window. The result? Moeller says roughly five million people watched some or all of it over the weekend.

Moeller, who also produced “Live Not By Lies” for Angel Studios, understood how his subject matter’s fight to call out the military’s Marxist turn mattered to the film. Not everyone was happy to see that element included in the documentary.

“I cannot tell you how many conservative people in D.C., when they heard about this film or saw cuts of it, said, ‘Eh, don’t talk about Marxism so much.’”

“I’m leaving it in the film ... it’s the most powerful stuff,” he says. “The more they tell us to not talk about Marxism, the more we’re going to do it.”

IFC Midnight

10,000 hours

Moeller is part of an emerging right-leaning brand of storytellers, the kind who once had little access to the public. Now, with X, YouTube, and other social media platforms, he’s able to share his skills with the public.

It all started for him in the existing movie ecosystem.

“I’m proud of the 10,000 hours I put into traditional Hollywood ... you need to cut your teeth out there,” he says. Now, he’s eager to leverage what he calls the “wild, wild west” of storytelling outside the industry’s glittery walls.

“Hollywood failed by overspending and making stuff people didn’t want. Don’t make the same mistakes in the conservative film world,” he says.

The existing film industry “has things to teach us, like professionalism,” he says. “We need to bring in our values, our own money, and our audiences ... we need to be really good stewards of that, to under-promise and over-deliver in this space.”

Making inroads

He remains hopeful that David can, if not slay Goliath, make inroads in the pop culture landscape.

“The center-right entertainment ecosystem is doing its best, and platforms like Angel Studios are taking big swings, but how to find and monetize an audience remains the biggest struggle for independent filmmakers,” he says. “We know the audience is there, but lining up quality work with proper distribution, especially marketing, so that everyone can turn a profit and rinse-and-repeat that 1,000 times is easier said than done.”

Moeller is hard at work on a new project, a pilot for a dramedy called “Are We There Yet?” with comedian Jeff Dye. The show, following a stand-up comedian “struggling with his faith, marriage, career, and sobriety,” will be shopped to streamers and potential buyers this summer, he says.

Most documentaries don’t move the cultural needle, but “Call Sign Courage” gave its star a real-life happy ending.

“The Trump campaign found out about the fact that we were telling Matt Lohmeier's story, and they invited him to a campaign rally in North Carolina right before the 2024 election,” he says. “At that event, Trump offered Matt a position in his administration.”

California doles out over $100M in taxpayer money to massive film studios

The state of California is handing out boatloads of cash to some of the biggest money-making studios in the world.

The money comes from the California Film Commission, which, in addition to providing tax credits for studios that rake in revenue, has a robust incentive program for productions that push diversity, equity, and inclusion.

'The state also pushes productions to acquire suppliers based on their diversity.'

Dollars to doughnuts

As part of its $750 million annual industry push, the commission's funding is not limited to independent films or smaller studios, but tens of millions are actually allocated to big-budget studios that have a history of massive revenues.

Chiefly in this instance, Variety has reported that a sequel to "The Simpsons Movie," currently titled "The Simpsons Movie 2," will receive $21.9 million in state funding as California has expanded into supplementing animation production.

The 20th Century Studios production is set for a release 20 years after the original hit movie, which took in $183 million domestically and $536 million worldwide against a $75 million budget.

While TV revenues are tight-lipped, it's estimated that each episode generates between $3 and $5 million. It should go without saying that the longest-running American scripted primetime series is not hurting for cash.

Alms for the A-list

Other major production houses getting a boost from the state include Netflix, which will get $10.9 million for a reboot of "13 Going on 30," while an untitled Disney live-action movie will get over $18 million.

DreamWorks, which reportedly took in over $900 million in 2024, will also get a credit of nearly $25 million from California.

At the same time, Paramount will get just under $26 million; they took in a reported $28.75 billion in 2025.

Chris Polk/FilmMagic/Getty Images

DEI on the prize

The film commission also sports a complex DEI program that offers tax credits in exchange for pushing its ideology on the production staff of any given project.

The state provides a checklist for productions to ensure they know to perform inclusive hiring, equity education, and "industry capacity building" to "increase an inclusive and qualified workforce."

The state also pushes productions to acquire suppliers based on their diversity.

California's "success roadmap" also shows that productions must issue "mandatory DEIA orientation," with the added letter in the acronym for "accessibility."

For live-action films, this must be done before principal photography begins, while animation has to show its DEI work within 120 days of production.

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COUCH POTATOES: Desperate late-night hosts bore viewers with Tim Walz, John Kerry

Johnny Carson made us howl by having the biggest stars on the galaxy grace his “Tonight Show” couch.

Sinatra. Reynolds. Rickles. Martin.

'We need somebody, we need a feral, bloodthirsty, violent Democrat.'

Modern late-night shows settle for the likes of John Kerry and Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz. Both far-left Democrats appeared on late-night this week, eager to take the hosts’ softball queries and smack ‘em out of the park.

Walz’s chat on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” found him deflecting the massive fraud in his state to, you guessed it, President Donald Trump. Any tough questions about Cap’n Jazz Hands quitting his re-election campaign? Hardly.

At this point, one of those “Technical Difficulties: Please Stand By” signs would be better than these late-night hacks ...

Mind freak

Psychic abilities are overrated, apparently.

Sunny Hostin, in a daily scrum to prove who the dumbest “View” host is, told the ABC show crowd this week about her unique skill set. No, it doesn’t involve twisting the truth into a Bavarian pretzel. She’s already proved that more than a few times.

This week, Hostin shared a deeply personal strength.

I believe I have psychic abilities. I recall when I was a child at about 5 years old. You know, I grew up very poor, and I dreamt a number. And my grandmother was like, ‘We are going to play that number.’ We used to call it playing the numbers, and my entire family won based on that number.

Did she foresee how “The View” would become the train wreck TV that it is today? If so, she may be the real deal ...

'Chainsaw' chatter

Leatherface is ready for his close-up. Again.

A mad bidding war for the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” franchise is over, and newbie director Curry Barker ("Obsession”) will do the honors for A24 films.

But why?

The 1974 original is a classic for all the right reasons. It’s raw and shocking, and it reinvented horror in ways that are still reverberating today. It’s the original nightmare fuel, complete with an odd vocal cameo by John Larroquette. (And he was paid in pot. Literally.) Except we haven’t had many quality “Massacre” films since then.

Eight films. Only one could be considered a keeper, the unjustly attacked 2003 reboot starring Jessica Biel. The rest have modest reasons to recommend them, at best, but only for horror junkies.

Will the ninth film since the original hit the jackpot? Barker directed the no-budget horror film “Milk & Serial,” a creepy affair that became his calling card. “Obsession,” brimming with positive prerelease buzz, drops next month.

If not, well, the next reboot is only a few years away ...

Allen J. Schaben/ullstein bild/Getty Images

Cho chooses violence

Projection is a terrible drug.

The left routinely tells us who they are by projecting their darkest impulses on their ideological foes. And Margaret Cho is example A, B, and C.

Maybe D.

The far-left comic raged against all things Trump in a new interview. She didn’t stop there.

I am a Democrat, but I also feel like there’s this weird attachment to decorum and taking the high road, and none of that is gonna work. We need somebody, we need a feral, bloodthirsty, violent Democrat. We just need somebody who is willing to put them all in prison — do the right thing and put them all in prison.

Taking the high road? Apparently, Cho was struck in the head around 2017 and just woke up from a nearly decade-long coma. We wish her well in her recovery ...

Rock 'n' roll swindle

The Boss missed out on that hometown discount.

Bruce Springsteen’s anti-Trump tour is getting all sorts of fawning press for all the obvious reasons. It could be partly why a 76-year-old rocker embraces his far-left shtick in the first place. He knew the legacy media would have his back.

Either way, a new review of his recent New Jersey concert hit the brakes on the media love fest.

Hard.

NJ.com’s review blasted Springsteen for a show "poisoned by hypocrisy.”

The blue-collar troubadour now charges exorbitant amounts for his tickets — up to $2,900 retail for the best seats in Newark Monday; prices he agreed to despite fan backlash. He’s selling No Kings-branded flags for $90 in the arena concourse.

The site leans to the left, but the Boss is so blatantly two-faced even his fellow liberals couldn’t ignore it: His glory days are far behind him.

'Airplane' auteur: I'm funnier than AI; 'fine for Seth MacFarlane' but not for me!

Is legendary writer-director David Zucker worried about AI? Surely, you can't be serious!

Zucker — the Hollywood veteran behind smash hits like "Airplane!" and "The Naked Gun" series, as well as cult classics like "BASEketball" and "Top Secret!" — says he's confident that no computer will ever take his job.

Zucker took some time out from preproduction on his new movie, film noir spoof "Star of Malta," to speak to Align about the state of the biz.

'We actually know what we're doing.'

Unlike many of his peers in the film industry, Zucker doesn't see technology as a threat — as long as you have talent.

"Certainly, AI is no good for writing scripts. You can't write a funny script using AI," he affirmed.

Cruise control

Nor can AI oversee a production from start to finish, said Zucker, citing Tom Cruise as someone "experienced and talented in their craft and dedicated to good work" and therefore able to shepherd a project from start to finish.

He allowed that there are some Hollywood executives who don't mind taking shortcuts. "[That's] fine for Seth MacFarlane," he said, in a not-so-subtle dig at the "Family Guy" creator and producer of the recent "Naked Gun" reboot.

Michael Buckner/WireImage/Getty Images

As for Zucker, he's compelled to continue writing comedy because, "No one can write this stuff." And when it comes to new projects, he would rather take up the task himself with his own team than take a gamble on someone else.

Zucker noted that he wrote "Star of Malta" in just 11 days.

"We actually know what we're doing," he said.

OK computer

Zucker's faith in himself and his team makes him the rare Hollywood insider who remains sanguine about increasing AI use.

The recent AI resurrection of the late Val Kilmer? Zucker said that as long as permission is sought out, he does not have a problem with it.

He is also intrigued by the possibility of AI-powered de-aging.

"I think that's a good use of it," he said, adding that he's open to using it in his own work. "If you have to cast somebody, and they happen to be older than you need, you can do it."

Jim Steinfeldt/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Comedy challenged

Zucker, who also offers an online course in spoof comedy, isn't afraid to call out an industry that's out of touch with the taste of audiences.

"There's 9% of people who just don't have a sense of humor," he said. "There's like zero sense of humor. So the studios are being guided by those people."

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5 pro athletes who boldly take a knee — for Jesus Christ

When most athletes look back on their glory days, it's the game-winning plays and the intense team camaraderie they want to relive.

Not former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick.

'My victory was secure on the cross ... and it doesn't matter if I win this tournament or lose this tournament.'

Ten years after he first knelt in protest during the National Anthem, the onetime culture warrior has written a book. His publisher describes "The Perilous Fight" as "equal parts memoir and manifesto."

Kaepernick may miss that era — after opting out of his contract in 2017, he never played for another NFL team again — but it's safe to say most fans are happy to have moved on.

In fact, there's been a different kind of rebellion brewing in pro sports lately — quieter and less disruptive, but no less profound.

Players taking a knee today are more likely doing it to pray than posture — and they don't seem especially concerned with who's watching.

While faith has always had its place in sports, this boldness is something new. These aren't symbolic gestures or vague references to "the man upstairs" but unabashed statements of conviction: Christ comes first.

Here are five Christian athletes proudly living their faith.

1. C.J. Stroud

Stroud doesn't treat faith as a postgame add-on. The Houston Texans quarterback consistently credits his success to God.

Even after a career-worst performance led to a crushing playoff loss against the Patriots, Stroud kept it in perspective: "Before I do anything, I want to give God the glory — my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him, I'm nothing. I just appreciate Him giving me this opportunity, this platform to play this great game with this great organization."

2. Brock Purdy

Brooke Sutton/Getty Images

49ers quarterback Brock Purdy may have been last pick in the 2022 NFL draft, but his subsequent success has shown he's no "Mr. Irrelevant." His legendary predecessor Steve Young says that makes sense, considering that the greatest QBs aren't flashy, but "at peace."

The secret to Purdy's serenity? Founding his identity on faith, not football: "No matter what I’m going to face moving forward ... football, God, and Jesus are going to be my identity."

3. Scottie Scheffler

Andrew Redington/Getty Images

For someone who's the highest ranked golfer in the world, Scottie Scheffler doesn't seem too interested in keeping score.

After his second Masters victory in 2024, the 29-year-old made it clear that he's got his eyes on a higher prize.

"My buddies told me this morning, my victory was secure on the cross," he said. "And that's a pretty special feeling to know that I'm secure for forever, and it doesn't matter if I win this tournament or lose this tournament. My identity is secure for forever."

4. Clayton Kershaw

Michael Chisholm/Getty Images

Clayton Kershaw was always the kind of player who let his performance do the talking. Over 18 years pitching for the Dodgers, the left-hander racked up three Cy Young awards, 3,000 strikeouts, and three World Series titles — including last year's, his final season.

He brings that quiet excellence to his life as a Christian as well, putting his time and energy into Kershaw's Challenge, the Christian charity he and his wife run. When the Dodgers insisted on holding "Pride Night" in 2025, he countered by writing "Genesis 9:12-16" on his hat — drawing attention to the rainbow's older, sacred meaning.

5. Stephen Curry

Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Stephen Curry may have been born into basketball — his father played for the Charlotte Hornets — but it was his family's deep faith that formed his life.

Early in his career as a Golden State Warrior, the gifted point guard made his priorities clear:

The Holy Spirit is moving through our locker room in a way I’ve never experienced before. It’s allowing us to reach a lot of people, and personally I am just trying to use this stage to share how God has been a blessing to my life and how He can be the same in everyone else’s.

More than a decade later, Curry is still at the top of his game — and making sure his three kids get the same faith-first upbringing he did.

'Sesame Street' teaches Elmo Arabic: 'What does salam alaykum mean?'

In between the Cookie Monster explaining his favorite exercise and Elmo pretending to be a DJ with frisbees, "Sesame Street" took time to promote Arabic culture.

The formerly beloved children's program put out a video celebrating "Arab-American Heritage Month" letting everyone know the word of the day is "habibi."

'Happy Arab-American Heritage Month, habibi.'

The word, a common term of affection often translated as "my dear," was not only featured in the caption for the show's social media push, but was featured in a video where Elmo learns Arabic along with viewers.

Sesame souk

New York comedian Ramy Youssef joined Elmo for the sketch; Youssef has Egyptian parents.

"Salam alaykum, everyone," the comedian began, prompting questions from the muppet.

"Mr. Ramy, what does salam alaykum mean?"

Youssef explained that "salam means peace" and that the greeting is generally a "way to say hello."

"Oh, cool," Elmo replied, before repeating the greeting to the children. "Oh, salam alaykum everybody. ... Happy Arab-American Heritage Month."

Elmo and Youssef then dove into the "Sesame Street" word of the day to teach viewers another Arabic word.

- YouTube

Muppet madrasa

In a video with 1.2 million views on TikTok, Youssef said, "'I'm so proud of my Arab heritage, and I'm so happy to share this month with my fellow Arabs and Elmo. So, thanks, habibi."

Elmo, who is neither Muslim nor a native Arabic speaker, again asked for the meaning of the word.

"Oh, it's an Arabic word for a special friend," the comedian replied.

"Really? Uh, well, happy Arab-American Heritage Month, habibi. We love you," Elmo concluded.

The video might be more jarring if this type of content wasn't part and parcel of "Sesame Street" in recent years.

The show has been heavily invested in promoting progressive politics to children, even extending that to dipping its furry toes into gender politics.

BAY ISMOYO/AFP/Getty Images

Street smarts

In 2022, "Sesame Street" promoted gay and lesbian parents to children through a song, and in May 2020 it showcased Jonathan Van Ness, a man who claims to be nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns.

Other odd presentations have included Hispanic Heritage Month and "Sesame Street: The ABCs of COVID Vaccines."

Youssef is reportedly a practicing Muslim and is married to a woman from Saudi Arabia.

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Jimmy Kimmel: It's not 'my job' to make you laugh

Tune in to any late-night talk show these days, and it's nothing but wall-to-wall clapter — the seal-like applause emitted by audiences in response to any variation of the phrase "orange man bad."

As Robert Plant once queried, "Does anybody remember laughter?"

Those of us old enough to have watched Carson, Letterman, or O'Brien do.

Well, Jimmy Kimmel has news for you: He's not here to entertain you. In fact, he's offended you even expect it.

The "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" host unloaded on entitled TV viewers while chatting with former first lady Michelle Obama on the failing podcast she co-hosts.

And it was as cringe-inducing as you'd expect. Turns out, Kimmel takes it personally when critics say he should be funny.

"To say that, 'Well, your job is this,' it makes me — I bristle at that because, first of all, don't tell me what my job is. I don't tell you what your job is. My job is whatever I decide my job is, whatever my employer allows me to do. That's what my job is."

His job, apparently, is to speed up the decline of late-night TV, and in his defense, he's doing a heckuva job ...

French toast

First, the French found Jerry Lewis irresistible. Now, the country's movie buffs have fallen for one of 2025's biggest box office busts.

"Ella McCay" arrived with plenty of hype last year, from its starry cast (Jamie Lee Curtis, Albert Brooks, Woody Harrelson) to a legendary writer/director (James L. Brooks) behind the camera. The film, focusing on a flustered young woman (Emma Mackey) thrust into the political scene, earned withering reviews. The box office tally? A shockingly low $4 million domestically.

Yet the French are coming to the film's rescue. Disney+'s French edition debuted the film after its theatrical release got benched due to that chilly U.S. reception. The French goodwill, boosted by fawning media support, built up to the point where the studio agreed to a limited theatrical release in the country.

Maybe AI can insert a digital Jerry Lewis into the Paris-set sequel ...

Role reversal

Nick Offerman may be our generation's Laurence Olivier.

The comic actor's turn as Ron Swanson on NBC's "Parks and Recreation" remains the libertarian gold standard. His character loathed the government, hoping to shrink it to the size of Jiminy Cricket's belt buckle.

In real life, Offerman is a raging progressive, and he can't stop savaging both President Donald Trump and the right in general.

This week, he popped up on the far-left "Daily Show" to trash Trump's plans for a glorious 250th birthday party for ole Uncle Sam. That includes a permanent arch to honor the historic moment.

"Can't he play with his model replicas in the basement like a normal demented grandpa. ... Can we stop with these self-aggrandizing celebrations, like you're some Roman emperor? What's next, gladiator fights?"

Ron Swanson might blanch at the arch as an unnecessary expenditure, but he'd forever love Trump for his DOGE-style shrinkage ...

NBC/UCG/Education Images/Getty Images

'Focker' fatigue

Haven't we suffered enough?

Some movie franchises stumble after a glorious run. Think "John Wick," those "Fast & Furious" romps, and even the "Mission: Impossible" saga. It happens, and it's the rare series that maintains its level of excellence.

We all agreed the 2000 comedy "Meet the Parents" was a hoot, giving stars Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller all the juicy lines they craved. But the sequel, "Meet the Fockers" was a star-studded stiff. And the less said about "Little Fockers," the better.

But since no franchise is allowed to rest in peace, a fourth "Fockers" is coming this fall.

"Focker-in-Law" adds "Wicked" alum Ariana Grande to the saga. This time, she's about to marry Greg and Pam's son (Skyler Gisondo), causing tension in the Focker-verse. The trailer is hard to watch, with so many callouts from the first film and Stiller looking embarrassed to be back in the franchise.

Unlike Offerman, he's not that good an actor.

The worst part may be De Niro, who, back in 2000, was still regarded as one of our finest actors. Now, his chronic anti-Trump rants have poisoned his box office appeal and alienated plenty of potential moviegoers.

Maybe the sequel will find his character strapped to a lie-detector machine, forced to answer if he actually believes his crazed, anti-Trump predictions.

Now that we'd pay to watch.

Welcome to WokeNut Grove: Sneak peek at Netflix's 'Little House on the Prairie' reboot

Because Hollywood has been unable to create anything new for at least 20 years, Netflix is "rebooting" "Little House on the Prairie." That almost certainly means trouble.

No stories have been more important to me than the fictionalized autobiographical series written by Laura Ingalls Wilder. As a poor child in a single-mother broken home, we didn't have luxuries growing up. Some kind soul donated a boxed set of the "Little House" books to an "angel tree" Christmas drive where poor families could choose a gift for their children.

The Ingalls family leave their cabin in Wisconsin to make way for an indigenous family violently displaced by pioneer gentrification.

I opened my present to find this set of books. I read and re-read them so many times they were in tatters when I reluctantly threw them away a few years ago. I'm lucky to have a good friend who bought me a new hardback set for Christmas.

'House' away from home

The values of independence, self-sufficiency, owning your mistakes, repentance, and forgiveness inside a loving family and community was everything I wanted life to be. It taught me values and gave me hope for something better than the frightening home in which I was raised.

The long-running television series based on the books was my favorite show. We watched it when it was new, and we watched it in reruns. Viewing the original "Little House" series today, one is struck at first by how sentimental it seems. But on second thought, it probably reads that way not because the original was truly that sappy, but because our society and our selves have been so coarsened in the 40 years since the show aired.

Look at where we are today as the release of the new Netflix version approaches. It used to be that when new movies or TV shows came out, prospective viewers would ask questions like: Will the cast be good? Will the premise hold up for more than one season? How are they going to pull off the special effects that the premise demands?

'Middle' mangled

What we weren’t talking about was whether the show was going to beat us over the head with painfully au courant political and social dogma. The thought didn't even occur to us before about 2014. Now, it's the only thing any aware adult can think about when they see yet another "reimagining" of a book or TV series.

Reimagining? A better word is "profanation." These reboots often explicitly insult the original version in order to signal how superior the current show runners are to their "racist," "sexist," "homophobic," and otherwise unenlightened forbears.

Look what Hulu has done to the 2000s-era sitcom "Malcolm in the Middle." The original show — that is to say, the real show — was about an “eccentric” family that drove middle child and IQ genius Malcolm nuts. The reboot, titled "Malcolm in the Middle: Life's Still Unfair," brings back most of the original cast with some 2020s-style mandatory identity insertions.

Malcolm's best friend Stevie has gay-married a man and adopted a boy child. But wait, there's more! Malcolm and his brothers have a new "sibling" named Kelly who's not a girl. She ... sorry, they is ... sorry, are "non-binary."

The piano-music-special-moment-interlude is like getting teeth drilled without anesthetic. The very obviously female Kelly tells her ... darn it, tells they’s parents, "I was like 5 when I started feeling wrong."

Take an antacid before you watch the clip.

Theo Wargo/Getty Images

Back to the Future Prairie

I know that I don't have to watch the new "Little House on the Prairie," but I do have to. Won't be able to stop myself, even though I know it's probably going to make me mad. I know the original books still exist, and I know that I can watch the original show. But irrational though it may be, just the possibility that Netflix is going to inject modern-day narcissistic depravity into something so pure — well, it feels like it's going to contaminate my memories of something wholesome.

So let's rip the Band-Aid off and get the hard feelings out of the way before the show comes out. Here are my predictions for the first season of the new and undoubtedly to-be-improved "Little House on the Prairie."

Episode 1: 'Decolonizing the Big Woods'

The Ingalls family leave their cabin in Wisconsin to make way for an indigenous family violently displaced by pioneer gentrification. We see the covered wagon pull away from the cabin as Chief Whining Shrew refits the log house with dreamcatchers, essential oils, and a slot machine by the side of the road.

They set out across the prairie headed for a town where they can make a new, sustainable life. In the closing scene, a sign ahead reads Welcome to WokeNut Grove. A young indigenous woman in traditional garb halts the wagon and warns Pa, "Bruh — do not EVEN call me squaw."

Episode 2: 'School's Out'

Mary and Laura's first day of school teaches them a lesson more valuable than the three Rs: empathy. The one-room schoolhouse is presided over by Mx. Beadle, a spinster — sorry, a non-binary educator — who keeps breast binders in her desk for the children who can't afford affirming clothing.

When Laura wrinkles her nose at the proffered tube top, Mx. Beadle makes Laura write, "NON-MEN AND NON-WOMEN ARE VALID" 50 times on the blackboard.

Episode 3: 'Farmer Boi'

We're introduced to the spoiled rich kid bully, Nelson Oleson. Nelson was assigned female at birth, but with the help of his domineering mother, Harriet, Nelson discovers he was actually a boy inside all along. In a surprising twist, it turns out Nelson's little brother is also actually his little sister, Wilhelmina. Everyone accepts this statistical improbability, AND YOU'D BETTER TOO.

With his golden ringlets peeking out from under a newsboy cap, Nelson taunts Laura on the way to school, shouting, "Sissy! Sissy! Sissy!" until Laura pushes him into Plum Creek. Nelson's binder pops off during the scuffle, revealing his gender assigned at birth. Laura has to work after school at the Oleson Mercantile sewing Nelson new binders by hand while Wilhelmina gets to make doll clothes on the newfangled sewing machine.

Episode 4: 'No One Is Free Until We're All Free'

With the crops failing, Pa goes to the town sawmill to look for work. He's about to join the crew when he notices that all the working hands are white men. Pa calls for the immediate shutdown of the mill until the diversity-in-work committee can get to the bottom of why so many white men have been allowed paying jobs.

The mill stays shuttered throughout the summer under a banner proclaiming "NO JUSTICE, NO PIECE (OF LUMBER)." Meanwhile, the town's white men are conscripted into a chain gang to build a wheelchair hoist so that Hester Sue Terhune, the town's wise black paraplegic, can wheel over to the cutting blade and take her rightful place as foreman. Three white families in tents die from exposure that winter, and the town celebrates with an ice cream social.

Episode 5: 'Horizontal Work Is Work'

When a family of gypsies — sorry, travelers — rolls into town, they are met with prejudice and bigotry as they try to open an honest business for Roma sex workers. Realizing the violent oppression woven into WokeNut Grove's founding documents, the town council repeals the ban on bawdy houses. The Pekrul family opens the Galatea Galerie, where rooms are let by the half-hour.

Mary goes to work at the Galerie but comes home with a severe case of harlot fever. Bedridden for weeks, when Mary tries to get up, she realizes something is terribly wrong. The camera zooms in on her vacant eyes as she cries, "Pa! Pa! I can't see my gender identity!" Ma, Laura, Pa, and Carrie take on extra jobs to save up so Mary can afford to go to the Iowa School for the Trans.

The season ends with Ma applying homemade dye to Mary's hair made from crushed lavender. Credits roll as a train whistle approaches town.

Stay tuned for Season 2.

Disney down on DEI, says ex-staffer: 'The vibe shift is real'

A former Walt Disney Company employee says he is cautiously optimistic about the company's direction, even when it comes to progressive ideology.

Josh Daws, a software engineer with 12.5 years at Disney, revealed on X on Wednesday that he was laid off as part of a Disney restructuring in which 1,000 people lost their jobs.

'It's much better internally now.'

The employee dump, which Disney said was part of an effort to "streamline operations," inspired Daws to answer reader questions about his tenure. Many queries regarding Disney's push for diversity, equity, and inclusion ensued.

DEI decline

The ex-Mouse House employee told fans they may finally be able to breathe easier, with Disney likely on the tail end of its inclusion era.

Daws told one user that DEI at Disney "peaked in 2020" but has been in a "steady decline" since. "It's much better internally now. The vibe shift is real," he wrote.

The engineer told another questioner that he was not a fan of the company's DEI infrastructure, adding that it has "toned it down a ton since Trump was elected."

Daws also answered a question related to who he believes is responsible for the diversity push the company has gone through.

'A vocal minority'

When asked why Disney seemingly "hate[s] conservative Christian[s]" while promoting the "LGBTQ agenda" at every turn, Daws — a Christian himself — attributed it to a "very small and vocal minority of the company."

"Most folks just want to make cool stuff," he added.

Daws also confirmed the company is well aware of how "out of touch" it is with fans. When asked if he had had many other Christian co-workers, Daws replied, "Not enough but more than you might think."

Throughout the question-and-answer session, Daws remained cautiously optimistic about the direction of Disney, while being careful not to insult his former employers.

AI no 'threat'

On the topic of AI, Daws was less circumspect, affirming that Disney would incorporate it as a way to cut costs. "No threat to them."

While Daws acknowledged that AI could be blamed for his firing "on the grand scale," he noted that his status as a remote worker was a more immediate factor.

When approached by Blaze News, Daws declined to give further comments about the company.

The Walt Disney Company did not respond to requests for comments regarding Daws' claims about DEI or AI.

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Alms for the A-list

DEI on the prize

Mind freak

'Chainsaw' chatter

Cho chooses violence

Rock 'n' roll swindle

Cruise control

OK computer

Comedy challenged

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2. Brock Purdy

3. Scottie Scheffler

4. Clayton Kershaw

5. Stephen Curry

Sesame souk

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Street smarts

French toast

Role reversal

'Focker' fatigue

'House' away from home

'Middle' mangled

Back to the Future Prairie

Episode 1: 'Decolonizing the Big Woods'

Episode 2: 'School's Out'

Episode 3: 'Farmer Boi'

Episode 4: 'No One Is Free Until We're All Free'

Episode 5: 'Horizontal Work Is Work'

DEI decline

'A vocal minority'

AI no 'threat'

We’ll keep you informed with top stories for conservatives who want to become informed decision makers.