Birth is the only ‘gender reveal’ you need



There are no surprises anymore.

In our day and age, we seem focused on making our lives as predictable as possible.

Every single day for nine months, I wondered who it was.

We can flatten the roller coaster otherwise known as life. We can know the weather tomorrow or the day after. We can know what’s going to kill us with blood tests, scans involving complex probabilities, and a catalog of family history. Someday soon we might even be able to know just exactly how many years we have left with 99.9% accuracy.

Of course, it’s easier to plan that way. And I’m sure we’d all agree one of the major benefits of technology is that it often lets us eliminate unpleasant surprises: Nobody ever wished for a more “interesting” medical checkup or airplane flight.

Suprised by joy

The danger is that in our eagerness for certainty and control, we end up eliminating the good surprises as well. Surprises that make you smile, rather than shudder: opening a thoughtfully wrapped gift, finding out you got the promotion, learning that a girl you’ve been thinking about has been thinking about you too.

Remember that youthful feeling? It’s youthful because it takes a certain optimism and playfulness to embrace surprise — especially when it would be easier to just cut to the chase.

The greatest, most meaningful surprise I’ve experienced has been as a new father.

The waiting game

You wait nine long months, planning for the future as best you can. Then one day you rush to the hospital. More waiting as your wife goes through labor, as you do whatever you can — if anything — to help her through it.

Then, in one incredible moment, you find out if you have a son or a daughter. There’s nothing like that surprise.

Today, not many “wait to find out,” as we say. Most parents are anxious to know if it’s a boy or a girl, so as soon as they are able to do the test and find out, they do the test and find out.

I get it. I really do. It’s the most exciting thing in the world knowing that you are going to be a parent, and you just want to know if it’s a boy or a girl. Who is that little person growing inside?

It’s hard to wait all that time, refusing to know when you could so very easily know. All you have to do is call your doctor, and in a few seconds he can tell you.

That way you can buy the right clothes and paint the nursery the right color. And honestly, that little moment on the phone is its own little surprise.

RELATED: Baby wars: Trump voter birth rate outpacing Democrat voters in record numbers

Photos by Paul Hennessy/Anadolu via Getty Images, Suzanne Kreiter/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Mystery meet

But waiting is better. It really is. We always wait with our kids, and I have to say that nothing in life compares to that one incredible moment. It’s when they arrive. When they leave the protected world of their mother’s womb and join us in ours.

We see them for the first time, in flesh and blood, and we know who they are, or at least one thing about who they are. “It’s a girl!” Or, “It’s a boy!”

Waiting was hardest with our first. There was already so much we were excited about, anxious about, confused about, and generally worried about, that holding off and not learning whether or not we were having a boy or a girl was pretty tough.

Every single day for nine months, I wondered who it was. But I waited and only found out I had a son, in one heart-shaking breath, two seconds before I held him.

God knows

With our second, it was easier. We thought it was going to be a boy. Our first was a boy, it was all we knew, and for some reason we just swore it was going to be the same. We had a feeling.

We felt wrong; it wasn’t a boy, and learning that it wasn’t early one November morning after our car broke down on the way to the hospital was a shock no smaller than that of a few years prior when we found out we had a son.

It’s the waiting and knowing that the answer is known, but not by you. Knowing that someone is in there — and we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, but we are going to know soon — is a nine-month tease unlike anything else we experience.

It’s a tension that builds, a question that keeps being asked. And then, finally, it’s answered in one euphoric moment and no matter the answer, it’s a good one, and you just can’t believe it.

The greatest surprise in life is the surprise of life. Babies — they are life. New, beautiful, fresh, pure, innocent life. They are our future. In reality and symbol. And so we wait all those months, and when finally we have an answer to our question, we hold them and look at their little watery eyes and ask them quietly, knowing that they can’t possibly respond, “Who are you going to be?”

There are still surprises left in life.

Tragic video shows gender reveal party end in disaster as plane crashes in front of guests, pilot dies



A gender reveal party ended in disaster as a plane attempting a stunt crashed and killed the pilot.

A couple held a gender reveal party on Saturday in Sinaloa, Mexico. The expecting mother and father hired a pilot to fly a small plane over a gender reveal party in Laguna de San Pedro, Sinaloa. The plane would release pink-dyed water over the party to signify the upcoming birth of their baby girl. However, the stunt ended in a gender reveal disaster.

The soon-to-be-parents are standing in front of an "Oh baby" sign with pink and blue balloons. The small plane flew straight above the couple and dropped pink water. Meanwhile, a cannon on the ground erupted and fired out pink confetti.

As the pilot pulled up, the plane's wings collapsed mid-flight and the aircraft spiraled out of control. Meanwhile, the couple hug and kiss to celebrate the gender reveal as the partygoers cheer about the unborn daughter.

The plane crashed to the ground. Emergency response teams reportedly arrived at the crash site and found the pilot lying unresponsive in the plane wreckage. The pilot was taken to the Mexican Social Security Institute in Navolato, but was pronounced dead at the hospital.

The Aviation Safety Network said of the gender reveal accident: "Piper PA-25-235 Pawnee crashed after the left-hand wing failed after an emergency hopper release of (pink dyed) water during a gender reveal party."

The Mexican news outlet Línea Directa Portal reported that 32-year-old Luis Ángel, from Navaloto, was the pilot who died in the gender reveal disaster.

No other injuries were reported.

(WARNING: Graphic video)

Gender reveal party ends in tragedy as plane crashes in front of oblivious guests | New York Post www.youtube.com

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Couple whose gender reveal party reportedly sparked deadly wildfire charged with involuntary manslaughter, face up to 20 years in prison



Authorities have charged a couple whose gender reveal celebration reportedly sparked a raging wildfire with felony involuntary manslaughter and other charges after a firefighter lost his life battling the blaze.

If convicted on the charge, the couple could face up to 20 years in prison.

What are the details?

San Bernardino County District Attorney Jason Anderson announced charges against Refugio Manuel Jiminez Jr. and Angela Renee Jiminez at a recent news conference, Buzzfeed News reported.

According to the report, both Refugio and Angela pleaded not guilty to one felony count of manslaughter, three felony counts of recklessly causing a fire with great bodily injury, four felony counts of recklessly causing a fire to inhabited structures, and 22 misdemeanors of recklessly causing fire to property after 22,000 acres burned in 2020 after the couple lit a smoke bomb to announce the gender of their then-unborn child.

NPR reported Tuesday that the El Dorado Fire erupted in early September when the couple staged their gender reveal at El Dorado Ranch Park in Yucaipa, California.

The fire erupted after the couple's "smoke-generating pyrotechnic device was set off in a field" inside the the park and ignited dry grass, authorities said. The couple was unable to contain the fire with bottled water, and phoned authorities to report the blaze, which was quickly spreading out of control.

From there, the fire spread for more than eight weeks, killing Charlie Morton, squad boss for the Big Bear Interagency Hotshot Crew of the San Bernardino National Forest, who had worked as a firefighter for nearly two decades before his death.

The blaze also injured at least 13 other people and forced hundreds of area residents from their home in the afflicted area while blackening nearly 36 square miles of land in both San Bernardino and Riverside counties before firefighters were able to contain the fire on Nov. 16.

Anything else?

In announcing the charges, Anderson said the fire had a "tremendous impact on the community."

In September, the San Bernardino National Forest's official Twitter account tweeted, "Sharing our deepest sympathies from Chief Vicki Christiansen: 'Thursday evening we lost one of our own. Charlie Morton, Squad Boss for the Big Bear Interagency Hotshot Crew of the San Bernardino National Forest, was tragically killed during efforts to ... suppress the El Dorado Fire on their home unit. Our hearts go out to Charlie's loved ones, friends, coworkers and the Big Bear Hotshots."

The couple were released on their own recognizance and are set to appear in court on Sept. 15.

...suppress the El Dorado Fire on their home unit. Our hearts go out to Charlie’s loved ones, friends, coworkers an… https://t.co/xy0HcYmFkg

— San Bernardino National Forest (@SanBernardinoNF) 1600743328.0

New Hampshire ‘gender reveal’ party features explosion so vast it shook homes across several towns



An out-of-control gender reveal party culminated in what some Kingston, New Hampshire, residents described as a "deafening blast" and even reportedly cracked a neighboring home's foundation.

What are the details?

According to the Washington Post, Sara and Matt Taglieri were enjoying dinner in their home when a "deafening blast knocked pictures off their walls and shook their house's foundation."

As it turned out, the blast originated from a nearby concrete plant and quarry near their home, and shook even nearby towns — but it was no construction accident.

Police say that a man detonated at least 80 pounds of explosives as an elaborate gender reveal stunt, shaking house foundations and reportedly turning local tap water brown.

The Kingston Police Department in a statement said that an "unidentified man" who reportedly set off the explosives turned himself in after the alarming incident and was cooperating with authorities' investigations. No charges have been filed at the time of this reporting, according to the New Hampshire Union Leader.

No injuries were reported as a result of the blast, according to Kingston Police Chief Donald Briggs Jr.

The explosive substance was Tannerite, which is a legal, over-the-counter explosive often used in target practice, the Union Leader noted.

"On Wednesday, Briggs Jr. told the Union Leader police found a container filled with chalk and Tannerite and the ground covered in blue dust at the quarry," the Post added. "Police said those hosting the celebration chose the quarry because they thought it would be a safe location to set off the explosion."

What else?

Sara told the outlet, "We are all about celebrating happy moments like having a baby, but their celebration was felt and heard not only by different neighborhoods, but through different towns. It's not like we are upset because there was blue or pink confetti on our yard. It was such a large blast."

The Taglieris said that the blast even cracked the home's foundation, and hope that those responsible for the explosion will pay restitution for the after-effects of the discharge.

"To find out it was a gender reveal — it was extreme," Sara said. "You are not expecting pictures to fall off your wall at 7 p.m. while you're having dinner from somebody celebrating having a baby."

Gender Reveal Explosion Rocks NH Towns www.youtube.com

2 dead after gender reveal party in Cancun ends in plane crash



Two people are reported dead after a gender reveal party in Cancun, Mexico, ended with a plane — streaming a sign that the baby would be a girl — nosediving into the ocean.

What are the details?

An expectant couple and their guests were filming the small propeller plane on a boat in the Caribbean Ocean when the tragic incident took place, the Daily Mail reported. In a video of the reveal, people can be heard shouting in celebration, "It's a girl!" before the camera catches the plane plunging into the water.

The plane, reportedly a Cessna 206, made a swooping turn over the party boat before appearing to lose speed and begin a rapid descent. The Spanish-speaking spectators could be heard shrieking in terror after seeing the plane crash.

Two individuals, a pilot and co-pilot, were onboard the plane at the time of the crash. One had reportedly died by the time medical first responders arrived on the scene while the other died as paramedics conducted an operation on dry land.

Mexican authorities are said to be investigating the incident.

According to the Daily Mail, the plane, which had been rented for the party from a company called Xomex, took off from a location around 40 miles northwest of Cancun before making its flyby in the Nichupte lagoon.

Right as the plane was approaching, a spectator on the boat reportedly said, "It's all good as long as it doesn't end up crashing into us."

What else?

The incident quickly garnered international attention because it happened during a gender reveal party. Such parties, which have become wildly popular in recent years, have also sparked significant backlash for the unintended consequences that continue to happen as a result.

In February, a father-to-be in New York died while trying to put together an explosive device for the celebration. The device was supposed to explode in a cloud of colorful powder but instead sent a piece of shrapnel flying.

Earlier in the same month, a gender reveal party in Michigan similarly claimed the life of an attending friend who was fatally struck by a piece of shrapnel.

Perhaps the most well-known disaster attributed to a gender reveal party occurred last year in California when a couple shot off a pyrotechnic device that sparked the massive El Dorado Fire.

Demi Lovato says gender reveal parties are transphobic: 'There are boys with vaginas and girls with penises'



Pop singer Demi Lovato claimed that gender reveal parties are "transphobic" in a lengthy Instagram post on Wednesday. The post was not Lovato's original thought, but rather a copy and paste from Alok Vaid-Menon, a self-described "internationally acclaimed gender non-conforming writer, performer, and public speaker."

"Gender reveals uphold the gender binary and the binary prevents people from observing reality," the post about parties for unborn babies read. "Only individuals can determine their own gender."

"It's both insincere and incorrect to pretend that gender reveal parties are not transphobic," the nine-slide Instagram post stated. "You can't have your proverbial pink-blue binary cake and eat it, too. This is not about political correctness; it's just … correct. We condemn gender reveals not because of our identity, but because of reality."

"Gender reveals require not just the invalidation of transness, but the impossibility of transness," the post from the 28-year-old singer claimed. "The assumption is that the baby is cis. Cisness is positioned as the default and everyone else is understood as derivative of it."

"The idea goes: while we might 'identify' as trans now, we were 'originally' 'born' cis and we later 'became' trans," the screed continued. "When in truth, everyone is just born. And we all become after the fact."

Lovato's post said that basing someone's gender off their genitalia is "inconsistent with science."

The post argued that there were more genders than just male and female, "Gender reveals are based on the illusion that genitals=gender and that there are only two options 'boy' or 'girl. This definition erases the fact that there are boys with vaginas and girls with penises and that there are people who are neither boys nor girls."

The Instagram post asserted that people believing there only being two genders "naturalizes cultural myths as 'biological facts.'"

The caption on the post said that there is a misunderstanding of what transphobia is, "Transphobia is not just prejudice or violence against an individual trans person, it is a belief system that presumes non-trans people to be more 'natural' than trans people. Only individual people can self determine their gender."

Earlier this week, Lovato talked about her own sexuality during an InStyle interview.

"I'm very fluid," she said. "I think love is love. You can find it in any gender. I like the freedom of being able to flirt with whoever I want."

In September, Lovato expressed shame in her whiteness because of racial injustice and the high-profile deaths of black people.

"At first, I was self-conscious about speaking out about these issues because I didn't want anyone to feel like it wasn't genuine," Lovato wrote. "I also felt like I wanted to call every person of color that I knew and apologize, which I know isn't the right thing to do either. Like a lot of people, I didn't know what to do."

"All I knew was that I hated that I shared the same skin color as the people accused of committing heinous crimes against Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd and many, many other Black lives," Lovato said.

Demi Lovato Calls Gender Reveal Parties ‘Transphobic’

Demi Lovato finds pink and blue offensive, saying she believes the idea that there are only two options — boy or girl — is an "illusion."