James Bond is among the most iconic Western media characters of all time. He’s daring and brave, he’s impeccably suave, he drives the most enviable cars, and he always has a beautiful siren on his arm.

But those characteristics that have long defined Mr. Bond are likely going away as woke ideology continues to poison pop culture with its perpetual virtue signaling, eradication of masculinity, and toxic levels of “inclusivity.”

But Lauren Chen isn’t currently concerned about the next James Bond movie, even though she acknowledges that it will likely be “completely off the rails” with “leftist politics.”

What she is fixated on, however, is the “the latest novel in the James Bond canon,” titled “On His Majesty’s Secret Service,” which “was commissioned specifically to coincide with the coronation of King Charles.”

“In theory, the concept of trying to release a new James Bond novel to coincide with the new monarch is kind of fun,” she says, but “it seems to be the actual execution that has failed this project so miserably.”

None should find the novel’s utter failure surprising when you consider that the author, Charlie Higson, wrote the book in three months.

Further, before “On His Majesty’s Secret Service,” Higson had never written an adult novel before; he’d authored multiple young adult novels but never one for the audience that the original James Bond author, Ian Fleming, wrote for.

And to top it off, Higson is “one of the wokest,” says Lauren.

So what do you get when you combine haste, inexperience, and progressivism?

You get “laughable material” that “completely changes the essence of who James Bond really is,” says Lauren.

And that’s exactly what "On His Majesty’s Secret Service" is — a rushed, amateur, woke disaster.

See for yourself — here’s a quote from the novel:

“Which is why Bond felt a deep sense of gloom that this beautiful, civilised, orderly country had been dragged back toward the far right by Viktor Orban, using the crude but effective nationalist playbook. Stirring Hungarians up with his anti-Semitic conspiracy theories, and crude, ‘Make Hungary Great again,’ anti-immigration rhetoric. He’d aligned himself with the likes of Trump and Le Pen and Putin, and, just like them, he was using a paper-thin front of patriotism to mask rampant self-interest.”

“Ah yes, because it’s only right-wing politicians who could possibly be motivated by self-interest, unlike the benevolent left-wing politicians we see,” mocks Lauren.

But it gets even worse. Not only is this next excerpt more virtue-signaling nonsense, it’s also atrociously written.

“Birkett was an ex-Tory, MP, famous for promoting COVID/vaccines/mask-wearing/5G conspiracy theories, which spilled over into the usual anti-immigrant, anti-EU, anti-BBC, anti-MSM, anti-cultural Marxist, climate change denial pronouncements. It was an anti-trans diatribe that had eventually got him kicked out of the party and he’d soon after set up the ‘New Freedom Party.'

"Bond was struck by something. It was a long while since he’d been at any kind of function that was almost exclusively full of men. It felt strange. There was not even a pretence at diversity here. Æthelstan hadn’t been the least bit concerned about ensuring that half of the people he’d hired to carry out his coup should be women, or non-white, or disabled.”

It goes on, but we won’t bore you with more of Higson’s garbage writing.

“Surely, the editors who are working with him should have sat him down and been like, ‘Bro, I know you care about this social justice stuff, [but] I don't think this is the place for it; also this just kind of doesn't seem like how James Bond would act,” says Lauren, who can’t quit laughing at the sheer absurdity.

Even the New York Times criticized Higson’s novel, and when a notoriously left journal “[laments] that America has made James Bond woke, you know this novel is not only woke, but insufferably woke,” Lauren says.

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