Mom says white man kidnapped her 3-year-old daughter — then admits the gruesome truth



A 31-year-old Maryland mother called police in Delaware last week saying her 3-year-old daughter was the victim of an armed kidnapping.

Darrian Randle of North East initially told police she was driving along the 500 block of Gender Road in Newark around 7 p.m. June 10 when her daughter — Nola Dinkins — became upset, so she pulled over and tried to comfort her, WCAU-TV reported. North East is about a half-hour southwest of Newark.

'We just can't fathom how a human being can do this to another human being.'

Randle claimed a white man approached and held her at gunpoint before kidnapping her daughter, the station said.

Randle described the man as about 40 years old, bald with peach fuzz on his head, and wearing a black hoodie and gray basketball shorts, WCAU reported, citing investigators. Randle also claimed the man was in a vehicle driven by a blonde, white woman, officials told the station.

More from WCAU:

When the Amber Alert was issued Tuesday night, officials released a description of the man as well as a vehicle they believed he was driving, a dark-colored SUV, likely a Ford or Chevy, with rust or dirt on the exterior.

Wednesday morning, however, Andrea Botterbusch of the New Castle County Police Department, said that the Amber Alert was canceled after investigators determined that Randle's initial statement to police was a lie.

"Detectives determined that the initial account of the incident given by the mother was false," Botterbusch said, according to the station.

RELATED: Teen girl says father threatened her with 'honor killing' before allegedly trying to strangle her outside Washington state HS

New Castle, Delaware, police asked Maryland State Police to check out Randle's last known address — part of a standard procedure in missing-children investigations — to make sure the girl wasn't mistakenly left there and to corroborate Randle's claims, WBAL-TV reported.

Maryland State Police said troopers went to the house of Randle's boyfriend, 44-year-old Cedrick Antoine Britten, on Elk Nest Drive in North East, WBAL reported.

Britten told police the child was not home and had left with her mother, Randle, WBAL said.

Troopers asked to view video from several cameras outside the house, WBAL said, adding that charging documents say video shows only Randle leaving the house — and that the child was "never observed on camera."

Britten also let troopers search his house, WBAL said, adding that charging documents state that while they didn't find the girl, they did notice an odor of cleaning products — specifically bleach.

Britten also let authorities search his vehicle, WBAL said, adding that police said troopers found a child's blanket with a reddish-brown smear consistent with blood. Britten said the blanket didn't belong to him and that a stranger in a park gave it to him last summer, WBAL added.

Delaware authorities interviewed Randle, who initially made a number of false and misleading statements before admitting after some time that her kidnapping claim wasn't true, WBAL said, citing charging documents.

Authorities said Randle then told them she struck her child at Britten's house in North East, WBAL reported.

"Randle confessed to physically striking [the child] with a belt approximately 15-20 times about her body during the daytime hours on Monday [June 9]," the charging documents state, according to WBAL.

The child fell to the ground, and she wasn't moving and was unresponsive, WBAL said, citing the charging documents, adding that Randle told authorities she picked up the child, realized her daughter was no longer breathing, and called for Britten.

More from WBAL:

Randle said she and Britten tried CPR but realized the child was dead. At that point, the charging documents state, Randle and Britten put the child in Britten's vehicle and drove around for a while before returning home and putting the child inside a suitcase.

The charging documents state that Randle put the suitcase in the basement overnight before asking Britten to take it somewhere.

Charging documents state investigators went to an area on Dune Drive in North East, where a suitcase containing remains was found, WBAL said, adding that Britten's house backs up to the vacant lot where he's accused of dumping the girl's body.

WCAU in a separate story, citing court documents, said the remains were consistent with an emaciated child and completely wrapped in plastic wrap.

Maryland State Police said identification of the remains is pending the medical examiner's autopsy results, WCAU noted, adding that the medical examiner also will determine the cause and manner of death.

Maryland State Police on June 11 said Randle was taken into custody on charges of first- and second-degree murder, first-degree child abuse resulting in death of a minor under 13, and other charges, WBAL reported.

RELATED: Florida woman allegedly told her 10-year-old through Roblox to drop baby on its head and try to burn foster parents to death

Randle remained in Delaware police custody and was awaiting extradition to Maryland on a $1 million bond, WBAL said, adding that Britten was in Maryland and was charged as an accessory to first- and second-degree murder and other charges.

Prosecutors wanted Britten held without bond, WBAL said, but the judge released him on a $75,000 bond and home detention.

An employee of business located near the scene of the crime told Blaze News on Wednesday that "we were all shocked and saddened" by the murder — and "even more sad" after learning the girl's body was left within "walking distance" of the business. But the employee added to Blaze News that "some of us" attended Monday night's vigil for Nola, and that it was "very nice" to see so many people there.

RELATED: Parents' damning texts about their children lead officials to grisly fire pit discovery: Court docs

Chad Marshall, a resident of the Elk Nest neighborhood in North East, told WBAL that "we just can't fathom how a human being can do this to another human being."

RELATED: Man accused of murdering daughter allegedly trying to marry state's witness, perhaps to keep her from testifying against him

An unnamed neighbor added to WBAL, "Having a mother that's supposed to love their child and make sure they're doing right by them, hearing she was abused and eventually killed, that's a horrible thing. Hearing that this happened so close to where we live, it's very unfortunate for the little girl, and it just makes us watch our kids even more."

Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

Hailey Bieber’s Vogue Cover Story Confirms Motherhood Changes Women For The Better

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://thefederalist.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Screenshot-2025-05-22-at-9.53.28 AM-e1747925700264-1200x675.png crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//thefederalist.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Screenshot-2025-05-22-at-9.53.28%5Cu202fAM-e1747925700264-1200x675.png%22%7D" expand=1]Bieber quickly discovered that motherhood changes women. The good news is, that change is almost always for the better.

Video: Alleged bully beats up crying 10-year-old girl, pulls her by hair to school restroom floor as other girls cheer attack



A Southern California mother shared disturbing cellphone video of an alleged bully beating up her crying 10-year-old daughter and pulling her by her hair to a school restroom floor as other girls cheered the physical attack.

What's more, the mother told KTTV-TV that the alleged bullying began against all three of her daughters after her husband died of a heart attack three years ago.

'How did it get this bad where the school didn't know anything about it, when I went to them multiple times about my daughters being bullied?'

"Ever since my husband passed, they've been getting bullied, telling them, ‘Oh, your dad died, hahaha.' It's so funny for them," Beatriz Hernandez told the station.

The station said Hernandez also showed KTTV a December 2023 report filed with Inglewood Unified School Police noting bullying against her daughters. The report said in one incident that one of her daughters was forced to eat hot chili peppers, and during another incident, milk and water were thrown at her daughters while they were walking with their grandmother, the station noted.

In regard to the cellphone video of the physical attack, KTTV said it occurred April 30 in a restroom at Woodworth-Monroe Academy in Inglewood at the end of the school day.

The attack happened after Hernandez' 10-year-old daughter ran into the restroom while her two siblings and their grandmother waited outside the school to head home, the station said, adding that other girls were waiting for her.

"My daughter was being dragged. She was literally being dragged," Hernandez told KTTV. "Even though it's another little girl, it's still bad. How did it get this bad where the school didn't know anything about it, when I went to them multiple times about my daughters being bullied?"

Believe it or not, her 10-year-old daughter was suspended after the April 30 incident for being "involved in a fight," the station reported.

KTTV said school officials didn't disclose if the other girls received punishments, but the district released a statement saying it's investigating the April 30 incident.

More from the station:

Emily Ruby, with Greenberg & Ruby, a firm that handles legal cases dealing with school bullying, says she is seeing younger and younger children involved in bullying incidents, where there seems to be a sense that nothing will happen to them.

She is also seeing that in more cases, it's putting the videos on social media that's behind the incidents.

But California law is stronger than the rest of the country, thanks partially to Seth's law which in 2012 required public schools to update their anti-bullying policies and programs, with a focus on protecting students who are bullied.

Hernandez told KTTV she's tired of going to school police and has filed a report with Inglewood Police.

You can view a video report here about the incident, which includes clips of the restroom attack and an interview with Hernandez.

Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

Teacher tried to hire student to murder husband — but student's mom foiled $2,000 plot: Court docs



An Ohio high school teacher is accused of attempting to hire a student to murder her soon-to-be ex-husband, according to a criminal complaint. But the student's mother reportedly foiled the murder-for-hire scheme.

Stephanie Demetrius, 44, was arrested April 1. She was charged with first-degree felony conspiracy to commit murder. Ohio state law notes that if convicted, Demetrius faces a maximum sentence of life in prison.

The estranged husband also alleged that Demetrius used a pair of scissors to 'stab' him while one of their children was home.

Demetrius has a valid substitute teacher's license for pre-K through 12th-grade students, according to the Ohio State Board of Education.

While working at the Academy for Urban Scholars High School in Columbus, Demetrius on March 26 “solicited the student to kill her husband for $2,000," according to an affidavit.

Demetrius gave the student a $250 down payment, according to court documents People magazine obtained.

Law enforcement reportedly collected digital evidence, including a recorded phone call between the student and Demetrius. During the call, Demetrius allegedly assured the student that the remaining payment was on the way.

According to court documents WSYX-TV obtained, Demetrius also told the student when her estranged husband worked from home and when their children would be out of the house.

The student allegedly asked the teacher if the neighbors would hear gunfire, and Demetrius reportedly replied that she doesn't care about the neighbors.

"This particular teacher was attempting to groom this young person into committing murder," stated Sgt. James Fuqua with the Columbus Division of Police.

Fuqua credited the student’s mother for first alerting officials about the alleged murder-for-hire plot after she discovered details on the juvenile's phone.

“Without their help, some of this may not have come completely to light, and this was a situation where the parent was able to capture specific things inside of this young person’s phone to alert authorities,” Fuqua noted.

'She has physically assaulted two of the children and defendant father.'

Franklin County Domestic Relations Court records show that Demetrius filed for divorce from her husband in April 2024. Records show that she previously filed for divorce in September 2017, but that filing was later closed.

Prosecutor Parker Schwartz stated that Demetrius exhibited “possessive and controlling behavior,” citing previous threats made against her husband.

The Columbus Dispatch reported that the teacher's husband filed for emergency custody of the couple’s children in July 2024. In the filing, the husband accused his estranged wife of violating a restraining order, breaking into his home, and taking a laptop and money.

The estranged husband also alleged that Demetrius used a pair of scissors to “stab” him while one of their children was home.

He also said Demetrius set fire to the home's basement, stole parts needed to fix the home’s furnace while temperatures were below freezing, smashed garage doors, damaged property while their children were present, and took the home’s Wi-Fi device to prevent internet access.

"She has physically assaulted two of the children and [the] defendant father," the filing alleged, adding that the "minor children are in danger of harm" since their mother "continues to return to the marital residence and break windows and doors to force herself in."

Court records show Demetrius and her husband married in 2004.

Demetrius' public defender denied the charges and said the accusations are being "fabricated."

The student — an unnamed juvenile — is not accused of criminal activity.

A spokesperson for the Academy for Urban Scholars High School told NBC News that Demetrius no longer is employed at the school.

“As soon as we became aware of the situation, immediate action was taken to terminate her employment,” the school's spokesperson said in a statement. “We are cooperating fully with the appropriate authorities and remain focused on the mission and values that guide our work each day.”

Demetrius was released on a $150,000 cash surety bond. She is barred from having any contact with her husband and the minor involved in the case.

A preliminary hearing in the case is set for April 11.

You can watch a local newscast about the case here.

Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

Mother allegedly leaves her 9-day-old newborn, 1-year-old alone to go to bar; infant reportedly found covered in feces, urine



An Indiana mother allegedly left her two young children — a 9-day-old newborn and a 1-year-old baby – alone so she could go to a bar. According to police, the babies were covered in feces and showing signs of malnutrition.

Around 5:30 a.m. Wednesday, police reportedly responded to an alert that 32-year-old Sandra Henriquez struck a utility pole with her vehicle in Muncie, which is about 60 miles northwest of Indianapolis.

The newborn allegedly weighed less at the time of being rescued than just a few days prior, when the baby was born.

Police said Henriquez had slurred speech, WXIN-TV reported.

Officers also noticed a car seat in the backseat of her vehicle. Henriquez reportedly did not respond when officers asked if she had any children.

Henriquez was taken to a local hospital and then to Delaware County Jail.

Just before 7:30 a.m., police again asked the mother of two if she had children, and she reportedly replied that she had "no dependents."

However, Henriquez allegedly told jail staff around 8 a.m. that she had children but was "unwilling" to provide her home address or phone number.

Around 3 p.m., Henriquez was taken to the Criminal Investigation Division. She reportedly informed investigators that she went to a bar at around 12:30 a.m. and left her small children alone. Before leaving her home in Muncie to head to the bar, the mom allegedly told police that she drank an entire six-pack of beer.

Police responded to calls of babies crying inside a home around 2:30 p.m.

When police arrived at Henriquez's home, the doors were locked, and they had to force their way into the house.

Officers found a 1-year-old baby and a 9-day-old newborn left alone in the house.

The Star Press reported that the infant, found in a bassinet, was "covered in feces and urine."

"The babies, who were reportedly covered in feces, were rushed to an area hospital for an evaluation," WTTV reported. "The newborn reportedly had blue hands, blue feet, and a blue mouth due to malnutrition."

The newborn allegedly weighed less at the time of being rescued than just a few days prior, when the baby was born. The baby required a feeding tube at a hospital.

Police reportedly found a small dog in a cage with no food or water.

Officers also allegedly saw multiple open cans of alcohol inside the home.

"Henriquez had multiple opportunities to inform officers and other staff about her children being home alone," an officer wrote in the affidavit. "Henriquez was even asked about children, but refused to provide that information."

Henriquez was charged with two felony counts of neglect of dependent, one felony count of neglect of dependent resulting in serious bodily injury, one felony count of neglect of dependent abandonment, and one felony count of obstruction of justice.

Henriquez was being held in jail under a bond of $42,500 for the child abuse charges.

Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

Mom and her 17-year-old daughter board middle school bus, start slugging 8th-grade boy: Report



A mother and her 17-year-old daughter boarded an Indianapolis-area middle school bus last week and starting hitting an 8th-grade boy, according to WXIN-TV.

Warren Township School Police said in a report that officers were called just before 9 a.m. March 6 for a “simple assault disturbance” and trespassing at the intersection of East 35th Street and North Richardt Avenue, the station said.

'You wanna put your hands on my brother? If I have to get back on this bus, I’m gonna kill you.'

WXIN said the "media narrative written in the police report" reads “parent and sister board brother’s school bus to fight.”

The station reported that a video of the fight was posted on Facebook. However, the video now appears to have been taken down.

What happened on the bus?

WXIN, however, reported that the clip appears to show a student in a gray hoodie punching another student in a dark gray T-shirt. The student in the gray hoodie throws least six punches, the station said, adding that two females then walk toward the fight.

WXIN said the females grab at the student in the gray hoodie, and one of the females is seen standing atop a school bus seat and ripping the gray hoodie off him.

"Stop jumping him! Hey, don't jump him!" a bystander yells at the two females.

But the two females begin throwing multiple punches at the gray hoodie-wearing student, and the punches appear to land on the student’s head, chest, and stomach, WXIN reported.

The station added that before delivering more punches, one of the females in the video asks the hoodie-wearing student, "You wanna put your hands on my brother? If I have to get back on this bus, I’m gonna kill you.” However, those outbursts aren't audible on WXIN's video report.

The station said the other female yelled at the person recording the incident, “I’m sick of you b***h-a** kids at this school. Yeah, record it!”

The video ends before the two females leave the bus, WXIN said.

You can view the station's video report here about the incident; it includes some clips from the now-deleted video of the physical attack.

Arrests

The police report states that three people were arrested on the following preliminary charges, WXIN said:

  • A 36-year-old Indianapolis woman was charged with battery (a Class A misdemeanor), disorderly conduct (fighting) (a Class B misdemeanor), intimidation (a Class A misdemeanor), and criminal trespass/refuse to leave (a Class A misdemeanor).
  • A 17-year-old Indianapolis female was charged with battery (a Class A misdemeanor) and disorderly conduct (fighting) (a Class B misdemeanor).
  • A 13-year-old Indianapolis male was charged with battery (a Class A misdemeanor) and disorderly conduct (fighting) (a Class B misdemeanor).

The station said no other information is provided in the police report or in the school’s statement.

Anything else?

Officials from Warren Township — which is about 20 minutes east of Indianapolis — told WXIN the district is taking “all necessary steps to address the situation” and asking witnesses to provide further information.

The station added that since "all charges listed in the police report are preliminary misdemeanors," it's not naming any of the individuals who were arrested.

Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

Reported Mexican national pleads guilty to ditching her dead newborn in gas station toilet before allegedly trying to flee US



A reported Mexican national allegedly gave birth to her newborn daughter in a gas station toilet in Texas last year and pleaded guilty to several damning charges related to ditching the dead body of her baby girl.

Diana Guadalupe Zavala Lopez, 27, previously pleaded guilty to a charge of tampering/fabricating physical evidence with the intent to impede an investigation as well as a count of tampering with evidence — human corpse, court records stated.

The woman seen on the video was in the gas station for approximately 15 minutes before she left, and it appeared that 'she gave birth in the restroom.'

On Monday, Harris County District Judge Kristin M. Guiney sentenced Lopez to serve four years in a state correctional facility. Lopez was credited with 489 days of prison time already served.

A customer reportedly used the restroom at a Shell gas station in southwest Houston on April 2, 2023, found the infant, and called 911, the National Desk reported. Paramedics determined the newborn girl had been dead for several hours by the time they arrived. Authorities have not revealed the newborn's cause of death.

In July 2023, the Houston Police Department released surveillance video to the public of the suspect entering the gas station around 4:25 a.m. on April 2.

"Surveillance video of the person of interest, believed to be the infant's mother, and an unknown white Cadillac vehicle is attached to this news release," the Houston Police Department said in the video's description.

A Houston Police Department homicide detective said the woman seen on the video was in the gas station for approximately 15 minutes before she left, and it appeared that "she gave birth in the restroom."

Border Patrol agents in Brownsville near the border of Texas and Mexico apprehended Zavala Lopez — a reported Mexican national.

The Houston Police Department said in a statement: "Tips from the public helped investigators identify the female as Zavala Lopez. Members of HPD's South Gessner Crime Suppression Team learned she was attempting to flee the country, and on Tuesday (Aug. 1), agents with the U.S. Customs and Border Protection detained her in Brownsville, Texas."

According to KHOU-TV, Zavala Lopez allegedly admitted to investigators that she gave birth in the toilet and didn't try to pull the baby girl out of the water, check for signs of life, or perform CPR.

The news outlet added, "Zavala Lopez said she tried to wipe the blood off her legs and shoes and found a mop outside the restroom and tried to clean it before leaving. She found an article of clothing in her car and put it on the driver's seat before driving home."

Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

4 children alone at home when thugs shoot up house; Mom says it's payback after son, 14, fought at school when he got jumped



Gunmen opened fire at a home in DeKalb County, Georgia, on Tuesday morning — and four children who were alone inside the home were forced to run for cover, WSB-TV reported.

Their mother told the station that the shooting was retaliation after her 14-year-old son got into a fight when he was jumped at school.

'One came close to my sister, but she ducked.'

WSB said the home on Overlook Avenue was hit by bullets dozens of times just before 10 a.m.

The mother told the station it all happened right after she departed her residence with her son: “We left at 9:45. My daughter was calling me at 9:52 screaming in the phone."

WSB said the mother allowed her 11-year-old girl to tell the station how the terrifying incident went down, with bullets piercing windows and walls and all the children running for their lives.

“One came close to my sister, but she ducked,” the 11-year-old girl told WSB, adding that "gunshots" were "going all through all over the house."

The station said bullet holes were seen all over the home, most of which were located in the upper level.

No one was hurt in the shooting, WSB said, adding that a neighbor showed a station reporter doorbell video in which gunmen are heard firing multiple shots into a home.

The reporter asked the mother whether she thought the gunmen wanted to kill her family, the station said, adding that the mom replied, “Of course, they shot 25 times in the house."

WSB said police were on the scene, and evidence markers were visible in the street — and the mother indicated that police told her they have a good idea who fired the shots.

“They got Ring cameras so they gonna get to the bottom of it,” the mother told the station reporter.

The neighbor who showed the WSB reporter doorbell video of the shooting asked him not to air it.

You can view a video report here about the incident.

Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

Mother allegedly told her preteen daughters to hide stepdad's sexual abuse — or they'd be 'financially screwed'



A Utah mother is accused of instructing her young daughters to cover up their stepfather's alleged sexual assaults against them.

Randi Heather Norris was arrested around 6:40 p.m. Wednesday, according to Utah County Jail records. Norris, 39, faces charges of tampering with a witness, child abuse with injury — intentional or knowing, and obstruction of justice.

'Sexually abusing three of her daughters, all of which were age 13 or younger at the time of the abuse.'

The Springville Police Department said they received a report from the Division of Child and Family Services of reported child sexual abuse.

KTVX-TV reported that law enforcement interviewed the alleged victim, who reported several incidents of child sexual abuse by her stepfather – 39-year-old Jason Wong. She allegedly told police she informed her mother — Norris — about the sexual abuse.

“The victim stated that [Norris’] response was that it was up to the victim to decide if she wanted to report it, but that if she did they would be ‘financially screwed.’ The victim also disclosed overhearing Randi and Jason tell her younger sibling to lie to the police about the sexual abuse that was happening to her for the same reason,” the affidavit of probable cause read.

Investigators reportedly interviewed Norris, who told police that she knew Wong was “sexually abusing three of her daughters, all of which were age 13 or younger at the time of the abuse.”

In April, Norris' 11-year-old daughter reported a separate incident of sexual abuse by Wong, and while she gave some details, she later said none of the allegations happened.

“Investigators learned the victim did this after being instructed to do so by Randi and Jason,” the probable cause statement stated.

Norris and Wong allegedly began a romantic relationship in November 2014.

The Daily Mail reported that the couple are both employed at Smith's Food and Drug Stores in Springville. Norris reportedly is a cashier, and Wong is a dairy manager.

The Daily Mail said Springville police did not provide a comment to the outlet.

Like Blaze News? Bypass the censors, sign up for our newsletters, and get stories like this direct to your inbox. Sign up here!

Bluey's dad isn't so bad — and moms can be overly nurturing too



Does "Bluey" really "turn fathers into mothers"?

That's the claim Jeremy Pryor makes in a recent article for Align, arguing that that the mega-popular cartoon attacks the traditional family, especially in its depiction of fatherhood.

Any parent — father or mother — who fits Pryor’s description of 'Bluey’s' Bandit is in fact an active detriment to his or her children.

Bandit (the dad in "Bluey"), Pryor contends, is “constantly nurturing” and “always present.” He is no disciplinarian but “a plaything” in the eyes of his children.

Don't blame Bandit

First, let me be clear: I’m not sure that Pryor’s take is quite fair to Bandit, who seems in my limited exposure to "Bluey" perhaps overly gentle but not pathologically so. This is, after all, a preschoolers’ show.

That said, Pryor’s broader point about our mistaken postmodern paternal ideal is well taken. The idea that dads should always be accommodating and never be intimidating is, like most postmodern ideas, an infantile fantasy. It takes no account of human nature and creates misery wherever it is permitted to fester unchecked.

Pryor may have picked a poor example to make a valid point about what children need from their fathers.

Nevertheless, his critique of our modern investment in parental androgyny raises a question worth addressing: What makes an ideal father different from an ideal mother?

Nurture shock

Pryor contends that the very qualities he says make Bandit a lousy father — constant nurture, constant presence, always pleasant playmate — would make a woman an ideal mother.

Putting aside the question of whether Bandit in fact displays these traits to such excess, is that true? I would submit not.

Per Mary Wollstonecraft, the founding mother of feminism before it all went so terribly wrong: “Weak, enervated women” are “unfit to be mothers.” A woman who responds to her child’s every whim is not raising that child to engage the wider world but delimiting his capacity to engage anyone but her. The archetypal term for this insidious maternal figure is the “devouring mother.”

The devouring mother does have a long and storied history; she is an archetype for a reason. But she cannot be considered “traditional.” After all, women throughout most of history could not focus with such martyred self-abnegation on their children. They simply had too many other things to do.

Getting to good enough

Until industrialization, when middle- and upper-class women could for the first time in history devote themselves solely to the domestic welfare of their own nuclear families, nearly all women labored alongside their husbands and children on farms.

In these circumstances, the best a woman could hope for was to be a “good enough” mother: loving and strict and far too busy to be next to her child every second, like the mom in "Little House on the Prairie" or the one in the “Kirsten” books of the original "American Girl" series.

Fortunately, it turns out that “good enough” is what’s best.

Any parent — father or mother — who fits Pryor’s description of "Bluey’s" Bandit is in fact an active detriment to his or her children. Judging by today’s soaring rates of childhood misbehavior, mental health problems, and fragility, we do indeed have far too many such parents.

So if mothers should not be hovering pushovers any more than fathers should, what makes fathers unique and uniquely valuable?

Dad duty

Personally, I have two answers.

First, fathers provide a different kind of discipline — but only to a point. Yes, “talk to Daddy” is drawn as a leveling up of firmness in my house. Mommy is plenty firm, but Daddy has a different impact because Daddy is a man. But I also have four boys and no girls. If I had four daughters and no sons instead, I truly cannot imagine a scenario in which my husband would be the heavy; in fact, it would almost certainly go the other way.

Second, per Pryor, fathers do tend to offer a unique kind of “territory-expanding” and “training,” particularly to sons but also to daughters.

I am a “he’s fine” kind of mom. In part because it’s not my personality and in part because I know it’s not a good idea, I do not gasp or run over when my kid skins a knee or even a chin. I try to respond to what my kid says he needs (sometimes a hug, sometimes ice, often nothing), not react to what I saw.

But I am a mom, and I have my limits.

Checks and balances

I “let grow” pretty well, but when my kids aren’t back to my side exactly when I expect them to be — say, from the library across the street or from a bike ride around the block — I am always on the precipice of running to find them.

My anxiety is inevitably written all over my face. And my kids would surely see that, were I to follow my impulse and dash off at the first suspicion that they might be trying without immediate success to find their way back to me. Fortunately, my husband’s voice is always in my head, and often in my ear: “This is about you getting reassured, not about them being safe. They are fine. They will be fine. Do not worry them with your worry.”

I am beginning to notice that my sons tend to stay calm even when they are unsettled precisely because they have a dad who models that kind of stoicism consistently. Dads do tend, I think, to keep their sights trained more steadily than moms do on the endgame of raising adults who can manage real life, including when it’s scary.

So part of being a “good enough” mom, I guess, is knowing when to get out of the way and let Dad do his job.