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Slate smear fails: DHS torpedoes anti-Trump agitator's 'lazy lie' about infiltrating ICE
Slate magazine published a hit piece by an anti-Trump propagandist on Tuesday suggesting that U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement does such a poor job of screening applicants that "trigger-happy" criminals — or even subversive Antifa apologists — could find themselves with badges.
"A few months ago, ICE hired me," Laura Jedeed, the self-identified "anti-ICE journalist" behind the piece, noted in a summary of her article on X. "I didn't sign and submit any paperwork. I'm real outspoken about my opinion of the Trump administration, and I am extremely googlable[.] And yet, there it was, in plain English. 'Welcome to ICE!'"
'ICE had officially hired me.'
Liberal rags such as the Guardian and Democracy Now! rushed to amplify Jedeed's tale, along with her suggestion that if she made it through the recruitment process, then pedophiles, rapists, white supremacists, and other unsavory characters might similarly be securing ICE jobs.
The Department of Homeland Security stated, however, that the Slate article's core claim was "a lazy lie."
This response was met in turn with a community note on X casting doubt on the agency's denial.
After corresponding with both parties, Blaze News learned that contrary to the 38-year-old leftist's suggestion, ICE neither hired Jedeed nor sent her a final offer.
In her article, Jedeed claimed she spoke to a recruiter and submitted her resume at an ICE career expo in Texas last August, working under the presumption that her time serving in the Army's 82nd Airborne Division, her repeat deployments to Afghanistan, and her civilian analyst work might "tantalize a recruiter for America's Gestapo-in-waiting."
Jedeed indicated that on Sept. 3, she received a tentative offer instructing her to log on to USAJobs, fill out a declaration for federal employment, and submit several documents, including driver's license information, an affidavit that she never received a domestic violence conviction, and a form consenting to a background check.
'I never received an emailed final offer.'
Despite supposedly doing "exactly none of these things," she allegedly received an email three weeks later indicating that she had confirmed her intention to continue with the hiring process and asking her to complete a pre-employment drug test.
The leftist suggested that she subsequently traveled to her local LabCorp, underwent a drug test with THC potentially coursing through her system, and then — nine days later — discovered that "ICE had apparently offered me a job."
"According to the application portal, my pre-employment activities remained pending. And yet, it also showed that I had accepted a final job offer and that my onboarding status was 'EOD' — Entered On Duty, the start of an enlistment period," she wrote. "I moused over the exclamation mark next to 'Onboarding' and a helpful pop-up appeared. 'Your EOD has occurred. Welcome to ICE!'"
In a video Jedeed shared online, the ICE recruitment portal appears to indicate that she was in the fifth and final stage of onboarding for the role of deportation officer, despite indications that she not yet completed the drug or physical fitness tests. The video also appears to show the ICE portal state welcome Jedeed to ICE and specify that her EOD was on Sept. 30.
"By all appearances, I was a deportation officer. Without a single signature on agency paperwork, ICE had officially hired me," Jedeed wrote. "Perhaps, if I’d accepted, they would have demanded my pre-employment paperwork, done a basic screening, realized their mistake, and fired me immediately."
While the DHS did not comment on the authenticity of Jedeed's video, a spokesperson told Blaze News, "This individual was NEVER offered a job at ICE. Applicants may receive a Tentative Selection Letter following their initial application and interview that is not a job offer."
The agency's careers page states that "following receipt of a tentative selection letter, you must complete per-employment requirements. These requirements vary by position. All positions require security vetting and drug test. You may also be required to pass a medical exam, fitness exam and oral board interview."
The page notes further that "a tentative selection letter remains tentative until all pre-employment requirements are met for the position."
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When asked about the DHS statement to Blaze News, Jedeed said, "I did not receive a final offer, nor did I accept one."
Jedeed noted in a follow-up email, "To clarify: I did not receive a final offer in the mail."
"I never received an emailed final offer — the portal indicated that I had already accepted that offer, as you can see from the screen capture posted on X," she wrote.
When asked whether she suspected or had any reason to believe that the system would have barred her from proceeding upon hitting the accept button, Jedeed told Blaze News:
I do not know what would have happened had I hit that accept button on the ICE portal. It's possible they would have asked for the paperwork — I certainly hope so. But the fact I already had an EOD date before filling out paperwork which the tentative job offer described as mandatory for proceeding to the next phase of the hiring process (final offer, onboarding), and the fact that my background check showed up as completed, are reasons for concern.
While she was not hired, did not receive a final offer, and has conceded that perhaps what she experienced on the ICE recruitment portal was "some kind of computer glitch," Jedeed nevertheless suggested in her Slate piece that her recruitment experience is indicative of a broader problem at the agency — a problem that set the stage for Renee Nicole Good's death.
"How are we to trust ICE's allegedly thorough investigations of the people they detain and deport when they can't even keep their HR paperwork straight?" Jedeed wrote. "And if they're not going to screen me out, what hope is there of figuring out which recruit might one day turn into a trigger-happy agent who would forget that law enforcement officers are trained not to stand in front of vehicles, get jumpy, and shoot a 37-year-old woman to death on the streets of Minneapolis?"
Jedeed, like her fellow travelers in the media, neglected to mention that Good — whom Jedeed claimed was murdered — was shot while driving her SUV into an ICE agent after ignoring multiple lawful orders and interrupting a federal law enforcement operation.
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Brian Gresko, father, writer, and Slate contributor, shared an essay with the site for a Friday morning slot going into great detail about how he and a longtime friend called "uncle" taught his seventh-grade son how to masturbate.
According to Gresko, some of the tools he utilized included purchasing K-Y jelly and lotion for the 12-year-old, as well as providing vivid graphic novels containing "illustrative tips on how to touch his penis."
Content warning: Some of the details in the article are of a graphic sexual nature.
What are the details?
Gresko began the essay by recalling his experience as a young boy in a Catholic school, learning that masturbation was "wasting the seed" — a notion that shocked him to his core and, according to him, poisoned the way he felt about his body for the rest of his life.
The suburbs of Philadelphia in the late 1980s, he recalled, were an "atmosphere thick with repression."
"Standing in front of a chalkboard with his arms crossed, the priest told us masturbation was 'wasting the seed,' though he didn’t give us any details of what this seed was, really," he wrote. "Nor did he explain that our bodies, like little seed factories, were just starting to gear into production and would soon be in overdrive. Instead, he told us this seed was holy stuff, a gift from God intended for one day impregnating our wives. And he made it very clear: Masturbation was a mortal sin, the kind that sends you straight to hell."
He added that the conversation ended there and that he began to foster an idea that masturbation was shameful, wasteful, and something to avoid discussing — a move that he said eventually sent him to therapy.
"Over the years, I’ve worked against these attitudes in therapy, but this is my base coat," he admitted. "I’ll never be totally free of them. And so, when I was in my early 30s and my partner found out she was pregnant with a baby boy, I worried I’d pass on these inhibitions and tinges of shame. Maybe he’d pick them up, like malignant radiation I was giving off, whether I wanted to or not."
'How do you do it?'
Gresko said, however, that he was lucky enough to foster a family where all topics are on the table for discussion — including masturbation.
"My son reached seventh grade last September," he wrote. "When he was full of questions about masturbation — When do people start doing it? How do you do it? What’s an orgasm like? — we phoned a longtime friend he calls his 'uncle.' 'If anyone knows about tween masturbation, it’s your uncle,' I told him. 'He was obsessed, and did it all the time.'"
Gresko and his son spoke with the unnamed uncle, who told the child that it was "OK to feel all sorts of things while masturbating."
"The experience," he added, "was like calling a sex helpline."
As the school year progressed, so did the child's foray into learning about his body and sexual behaviors.
"Recently, when I went away on a writing retreat for a week, my son put all this talk into action," Gresko wrote. "He brought himself to ejaculation on the toilet. I know this, because the first thing he did afterward was talk to his mom about it. He wanted her to know what had happened and also ask a question: It felt weird, but not great. Was that OK?"
Gresko said that his wife reassured him that because it was his first time, he had plenty of time to figure out "what you like and how you want to do it."
"Later, he called me to tell me about it, and I said the same," he continued. "Go slow, I advised. And whatever feelings you’re having are OK. It’s called playing with yourself for a reason! Have fun."
'Did you ever consider using lubrication?'
Several days later, Gresko said he received a second phone call notifying him that the child "masturbated a second time, too roughly," summoning a drop of blood.
“Did you ever consider using lubrication?” he recalled asking the child.
The child, of course, had not at just 12 years old.
"He’d been going at it like a physical challenge, rubbing and rubbing until he ejaculated," Gresko continued. “'I see it more like a dance between my body and my mind,'” I said. 'Arousal plays a part, not just the touching. Do you fantasize while you do it?'"
The child responded by saying that he wasn't sure what "turns me on."
Gresko said that when he arrived home from trip, he stopped at a local pharmacy to purchase a tube of lubrication and a bottle of unscented lotion.
"After school, I sat with him on his bed and explained that lube would help make masturbation more pleasant, and gentle," he said. "Try both types and see what feels best, I told him. Don’t be afraid to experiment. We looked at the graphic novel 'Let’s Talk About It,' by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan, for illustrative tips on how to touch his penis."
'Did it feel good?'
Gresko said that with his guidance, his son was eventually to bring himself to orgasm.
"A few nights later, before bed, my son called me into his room," he wrote. "'Dad, if I seemed emotional earlier today, it’s because I was touching myself and I had an orgasm.' He covered his face with his hands, cheeks red, though he had this big goofy grin on his face. 'Why are you covering up?' I asked, remembering my own discomfort around this subject at his age. 'Do you feel ashamed, or embarrassed?'"
The child admitted that he felt embarrassed, but also proud of himself.
“You should,” Gresko recalled telling his son. “Did it feel good?”
He wrote, "He gave me a pure smile."
Gresko concluded the essay by pointing out that he'd been subjected with far too much "bulls*** baggage" that stunted his own sexual growth.
"I wish I could say it’s been healing to witness my son blossom open-heartedly into a sexual being, but the tide hasn’t shifted just like that for me," he admitted. "I’m hopeful, though, that one day I’ll experience such full-body joy without inhibition."
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