Upgrade to a dumbphone



I will spare you the argument against smartphones and go directly to the part where you redesign your life and your engagement with tech by switching to a dumbphone.

You’re going to come to a place and time when, as with the redeemed crackhead, the Spirit compels you to turn from your addiction and drop the pipe and the rock for good because all the myriad justifications have worn thin and have shown themselves to be empty.

There are innumerable manuals, studies, and paths related to dropping addiction. Or, if you prefer a gentler euphemism, building new habits.

Or you won’t — and, in the best-case scenario, your life will be characterized by an internal war you wage against your better self as directed by a set of parasitic algorithms.

So here's a list of suggestions about how to get into the dumbphone.

Find an alternative (for now)

If you want to go full cabin-in-the-woods, there are ways and means. Good luck out there, and meet me at the tree line. However, if you decide that staying in phone (voice and text) contact with the world of men is necessary or wise, then you’re likely looking at what we lovingly refer to as the dumbphone. We are stepping back into 2004.

We all know the Nokia stands out. (No one is sponsoring this article.) They are cheap and rugged, and the plans are flexible. Get one.

Backstop expectations

Employers, loved ones, and almost everyone else expect you to have a phone and everything that comes with it. Cut them off at the proverbial pass by building in some alternatives to those few features of the phone that are (sort of) useful.

Get a small flashlight. Buy a dumbphone with a half-decent camera.

Pick up an atlas or "Thomas Guide." If that’s not enough, perhaps it is worthwhile to retain or install some equivalent navigational aid or app in your vehicle.

Advice: Once the dopamine circuits in your brain have been stabilized, you can go back and refine your replacements. Escape need not be perfect. You’re going to find yourself on the outside; the world is now weird. Just keep refining your alternative methods.

Pick a time

As you design your way out of the smartphone trap, what’s frustrating is that almost no one is going to sympathize or know how to help. You’re on your own.

It’s quite a world where you need to justify your choice not to participate in something so strongly correlated with depression, dissatisfaction, isolation, and lifestyle choices generally at odds with those proven over huge stretches of time. (You don’t need the studies if you lived through 2008 ... or 2016 ... or 2020 ... or ...)

Pick a long weekend or vacation to make the initial change. This at least gives you some leeway to flop around and bemoan flagging levels of dopamine and do the interior work of shoring yourself up to carry through the operation.

Call in some favors

As with the above, it’s wise to tell your loved ones — especially your spouse — that your communications situation is changing. There are mixed reports regarding the value of “accountability partners” (individuals to whom you report your progress in some difficult personal change), but again, if you’re going all in, why not throw everything you’ve got at it? No doubt, husband and wife picking up the dumbphone together is only sensible.

Lay in provisions

It is always best to keep that "Thomas Guide," those comforting snacks, and the other considerations mentioned above close to hand and mind, but there are other problems to address, too. For example, there are decisions to be made about whether to keep sundry smartphone apps and resources and, if so, which ones.

The big question for many potential dumbphone users will be about social media use. As it stands, the vast majority of users are stuck to their phones for their X or Instagram fix. Both of these and probably many similar platforms are available in a desktop version. Getting used to the differences in the interfaces (assuming you’re keeping some tether to them at all) is a worthwhile preparatory step.

The situation extends, of course, to crypto wallets and apps and any other phone-based software you care to hold on to — it may be easier to let go of the smartphone if much of its supposed utility can simply be stored on a laptop or a desktop.

Power through

There are innumerable manuals, studies, and paths related to dropping addiction. Or, if you prefer a gentler euphemism, building new habits. The issue, of course, is that the modern mind, when pressed, excels at justification.

The truth of our predicament is likely that the smartphone is a symptom of a much deeper, more subtle malaise. Will reverting to a dumbphone make it feel worse? In the short term, it’s quite common in situations like these for our lives to feel even emptier without whatever was sustaining the illusion of having a genuine experience of being.

For many of us, we’ve already run the gamut of self-improvement and hacks. Dropping the phone is a choice near the tail end of that progression. It’s easy to play the aforementioned game of justification with respect to order of tasks. But it may also be necessary to address other issues before taking up the path of the dumbphone ...

Founder mode: Dare to vibe with tech’s latest buzzword



Scrolling through X today, past photos of Kamala Harris avoiding journalists’ questions by holding her phone to the side of her head while wearing Apple earbuds, I was painfully reminded why I have called her the first cyborg candidate and the first word-cloud candidate.

Then I remembered the Apple Vision Pro — remember that? — and the semi-viral videos accompanying the meh product’s initial hype blurp: tech bros wearing the thing while driving a Cybertruck, walking through the mall grandiosely swiping around windows and apps that only they could see. A naif could be excused for mistaking Kamala for a practitioner of the memeably absurd “beast mode” style of tech-world device-maxxing.

The whole point of the Kamala cult is to liberate citizens from any proper political education or contemplation altogether, unburdening them from what difficult details of self-governance have been.

But no one would mistake Harris for a founder — not of a company, not of a nation, not even of a cult, despite the fandom being manufactured around her.

A critic in the vein of Twain or Mencken might suggest that America has been running on cult leaders — the socioeconomic equivalent of an all vodka-Red Bull diet — for a dangerously long time. Today the secret is largely out that (as we covered at Return early this year) a lot of tech is really about talent-spotting cult leaders and “funding” them the way high-powered firms or family offices “fund” attorneys … so much so that today many techies and wannabe techies explicitly brand their operations as cults and themselves as leaders thereof.

It can be left to the reader to contemplate just how irresistibly the dark worlds of perversity and spycraft mingle with the realm of cults and for just how long.

On the other hand, few cults really work well as businesses, which is why, for the past quarter-century or so, the East Coast vector of the cult/workplace dynamic has run the opposite way from the West: The purpose of human resources is to turn corporations into cults, not the other way around. So there’s a certain logic to the tech industry taking the edge off the whole cult thing by refocusing on what a would-be cult leader could be that would actually be better for business.

Enter founder mode. Legendary VC Paul Graham dropped one of his legendary blog essays a few days ago minting the founder mode meme. In sum, he maintains, “There are two different ways to run a company: founder mode and manager mode. Till now most people even in Silicon Valley have implicitly assumed that scaling a startup meant switching to manager mode. But we can infer the existence of another mode from the dismay of founders who've tried it, and the success of their attempts to escape from it.”

Importantly, he continues, “There are as far as I know no books specifically about founder mode. Business schools don't know it exists. All we have so far are the experiments of individual founders who've been figuring it out for themselves. But now that we know what we're looking for, we can search for it. I hope in a few years founder mode will be as well understood as manager mode. We can already guess at some of the ways it will differ.”

The details in the thesis are interesting, but still more interesting is the overall context, because until the 21st century, the character of the founder has been overwhelmingly more closely associated with politics than business. If the 1619 Project people and the borg they belong to hadn’t been so successful in nuking the Founding Fathers from the popular imagination, perhaps more Americans would still think of Washington, Adams, Jefferson, etc. than Jobs, Bezos, Musk, and so on. Maybe I’m a little ahead of the times in thinking we’re already there, but that’s certainly where we’re heading.

Yet the techies leaning hard into founder mode are themselves increasingly cognizant of the way that the founding spirit (or whatnot) is increasingly absent from political life, especially at the top, no matter how symbolic Biden’s use of the White House Franklin Roosevelt portrait might be. The whole point of the Kamala cult is to liberate citizens from any proper political education or contemplation altogether, unburdening them from what difficult details of self-governance have been.

“One cannot say it too often," wrote Tocqueville. "There is nothing more prolific in marvels than the art of being free; but there is nothing harder than the apprenticeship of freedom. It is not the same with despotism. Despotism often presents itself as the mender of all ills suffered; it is the support of good law, the sustainer of the oppressed, and the founder of order. Peoples fall asleep in the bosom of the temporary prosperity to which it gives birth; and when they awaken, they are miserable.”

Politically speaking, the post-Trump years have been, perhaps above all, the years of men in tech awakening to the alarming reality that America needs to be re-established on its foundations in order to survive — and that both political parties have failed to produce an elected official capable of carrying out this refounding.

This is something of a dilemma. Long before Silicon Valley arrived, the urge of American businessmen in America was to see politics as a kind of management task ancillary to the real work of leading a business. At the same time, however, with the emasculation and bureaucratization of the military, it’s hard to find any other executive talent pipeline into government besides business. The classical political theory of dictatorship is that decadent regimes must turn in the late game to men of iron, not men of money. However well intentioned or skilled any of us are in this knotty situation, we are all in fairly uncharted territory.

That is a big reason why we’re hosed without focusing attention on finding the spiritual aspect. For a better analogy than late-game pagan Rome, we should turn to the foggy years of the early-game Middle Ages, when the pious duke of Aquitaine founded numerous monasteries but none more notable than 1,114 years ago this September 11, Cluny Abbey — a pillar of order in the fractured post-Roman world focused primarily on liturgy and perpetual prayer. More illustrative still, in a way that bears deep reflection, is another founding monastic, St. Benedict, who owed his monastic life to a little-known figure with lessons for us all on the character of founders in an age of new frontiers: St. Romanus, a hermit monk who set up the wandering Benedict with a habit and a home — a cave above a Tiber tributary where Benedict would live for years before finally going founder mode.

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