These days, it has become almost mandatory to mock “the kids” — their TikTok obsessions, relentless “doom-scrolling” on Instagram, and “know-nothing” attitudes. They grunt, moan, and communicate via emojis, GIFs, and hashtags, emerging from their digital layers just long enough to make it to class or snatch food from the Uber Eats guy.

Imagine if these extremely talented kids, armed with nothing more than a smartphone and a few low-tech tricks, turn their attention to banks, hospitals, or even the power grids of entire nations.

Yet some of these zombies-in-the-making are up to something far more disruptive than scrolling or snapping selfies. They are infiltrating and embarrassing the world’s most powerful corporations. They've brought industry giants to their knees with a few low-tech tricks, social engineering hacks, and youthful persistence. “Can’t make it to dinner, Mom,” they scream, “too busy making Microsoft sweat.”

Advanced adolescence

Dubbed “advanced persistent teenagers,” these young hackers are not only one of the biggest threats to global corporations but also expose the shaky foundations of our digital world. Groups like LAPSUS$ and Scattered Spider may chase fame and fortune, but critically, their primary motivation seems to be the sheer thrill of it.

In recent months, they’ve pulled off some of the boldest hacks in modern history, targeting hotel chains, casinos, and tech giants using methods that would embarrass any cybersecurity expert. No sophisticated espionage here — just brash smash-and-grab tactics executed with clinical effectiveness.

It’s important to note that nations do not back these teens. They’re a ragtag band of virtual vigilantes who flaunt their hacks on social media with snapshots of breached systems and leaked data. They have taken the art of trolling to a whole new level.

These strategies recall the 2020 Twitter (now X) hack, where young hackers posed as internal IT support to gain access, exploiting employees’ trust rather than high-tech systems.

With a fake call here or a well-timed email there, LAPSUS$ and Scattered Spider trick employees into handing over the keys to the kingdom. Targets include tech titans like Microsoft, Samsung, Nvidia, and, more recently, several hotel chains and casinos, including MGM Resorts. Offering bribes or targeting individuals’ emails, the groups often start with minor accounts, which they use to worm their way into corporate systems. In a world where hackers are meant to lurk in the shadows, these teens are setting off flares.

Conflicted and confused

Should we shed a single tear for these corporate giants?

Many readers will scream “absolutely not” for entirely valid reasons.

Microsoft, for one, has long been associated with a number several sites. From wielding monopolistic power that crushed competitors to pushing software that seems more focused on control than innovation, the company has played the tech game with the heaviest of hands, and its relentless drive for data often crosses privacy lines that leave users feeling more surveilled than served. Also, as I write this, Microsoft is still pushing the DEI agenda with relentless enthusiasm despite most sane Americans wanting nothing to do with it.

Similarly, Nvidia, one of the most powerful tech companies in the world, is no stranger to scandal. The American company has faced a series of controversies that reveal a pattern of miscommunication and questionable practices. First, the GTX 970 fiasco left customers with a misleadingly marketed graphics card, where its supposed 4 GB memory turned out to be 3.5 GB of high-speed and 0.5 GB of slow memory, leading to performance issues. Nvidia's promised driver fix never materialized, leading to performance issues, forcing it to settle a class-action lawsuit. The GeForce Partner Program stirred antitrust concerns, since it incentivized exclusivity only to be canceled amid backlash. To be clear, it was canceled only because Nvidia was exposed.

The California-based corporation also attempted to restrict the reviewer Hardware Unboxed, prompting accusations of extreme overreach. Additionally, Nvidia was hit with an SEC fine for failing to disclose how much crypto mining bolstered its revenue, misleading investors.

Samsung, another target of the terrible teens, made headlines not too long ago when its Galaxy Note phones started blowing up — literally. It’s difficult to feel any sympathy for these companies, now getting a well-deserved taste of their own medicine.

At the same time, it’s worth asking what we should think about these teenagers. Are they digital Robin Hoods exposing corporate arrogance, or are they future terrorists refining techniques that could one day bring nations to their knees? Is Microsoft just a warm-up for thier own Manhattan Project?

Imagine if these extremely talented kids, armed with nothing more than a smartphone and a few low-tech tricks, turn their attention to banks, hospitals, or even the power grids of entire nations. Then it’s not just Big Tech elites taking the hit — it’s all of us. Suddenly, their antics are no longer a corporate headache; they’re a real-world threat. People could die. Lots and lots of people.

As we move further into the digital age, these “advanced persistent teenagers” serve as a sobering reminder of just how fragile our world truly is. For now, their exploits might seem entertaining, almost harmless, but the thrill could easily turn into a horror show — one where the power to stop it lies solely in their hands.