Trump goes No. 1 in US Politician Draft, vows 4 titles



With the NFL Draft set for Thursday, it’s the perfect time to ask: What if we drafted politicians instead of players? Let’s go!

Welcome to the 2025 U.S. Politician Draft, where Republicans and Democrats roll into the arena hoping to rebuild for seasons to come.

Some are calling this the most lopsided deal since the Colts traded John Elway for a bag of footballs and a guy named Bob.

A big thank you to tonight’s sponsors: Tunnels to Towers, Balance of Nature, and My Pillow — three great companies that, unlike Congress, deliver results.

The Republicans are on the clock

With the first overall pick, the GOP selects Donald J. Trump.

After a few seasons off the field — and away from Twitter — Trump returns to the draft in miraculous shape. His personal physician called him “the healthiest player in the history of modern sport.” No drug test necessary.

Trump remains the only player in the league who audibles before the snap, calls a completely different play mid-huddle, and still somehow scores — while the defense tears itself apart yelling at each other on MSNBC.

Financial upside? Huge. If the team goes bankrupt, Trump just buys it. He’s also promised to play for free, though some say the locker room minibar may take a hit.

Critics say he’s not coachable. Trump disagrees: “I know the playbook better than the coaches. Frankly, I wrote the playbook. I am the playbook.”

He guarantees four straight championships — plus a fifth if the league lets him contest the fourth.

Democrats are up next

With pick number two, they select Gavin Newsom.

He looks the part. Photogenic, polished, and press-conference-ready — even when his team loses by 40, he convinces fans that the scoreboard was hacked.

Newsom’s draft stock rose after he pledged to donate his signing bonus so fans could get free concessions and merch. But analysts warn he’s a high-risk pick. Late-game drives? He panics. Crisis management? He disappears. His turf demands? “I’ll only play on artificial grass — I don’t like getting dirty.”

Originally drafted as a quarterback, Newsom has struggled. Scouts note he throws everything to the far left — often out of bounds. If he can’t adjust, the team will switch him to punter, where he already excels at kicking responsibility downfield.

The mid-draft sentimental pick

With pick 199, the GOP selects JD Vance, hoping for a Tom Brady-style miracle.

Vance enters the league late. He didn’t even start playing until recently. But he brings grit, a lunch pail, and a dramatic pivot to the Trump playbook that showed elite flexibility. He once tackled Trump in print — now he blocks for him in prime time. And he didn’t even pull a hamstring during the flip.

Republicans say he’ll back up Trump for four years, unless he gets traded to Fox News first.

Now for the blockbuster trade

In a shocking move, the GOP trades aging locker-room distractions Mitt Romney and Liz Cheney to the Democrats in exchange for Elon Musk and Tulsi Gabbard. Some are calling it the most lopsided deal since the Colts traded John Elway for a bag of footballs and a guy named Bob.

As a bonus, the Democrats throw in RFK Jr.’s free-agent rights, though insiders suspect that was more of a liability dump.

The final pick: Mr. Irrelevant

With the last selection, the Democrats take Tim Walz — a high school assistant football coach turned political long shot. Walz hyped himself as the toughest guy in the draft, but fell hard after investigators revealed he exaggerated his college stats and padded his practice reps.

He claims he's ready to lead, but even his huddle thinks he’s more clipboard than quarterback.

One name, however, never gets called.

Pete Buttigieg, who expected his middle-school junior varsity experience to carry him through the draft, watched the board in disbelief. His old coach didn’t help, saying, “Pete took off half the season — and no one noticed.”

As it turns out, “transportation” isn’t a position.

'The Man in the Arena’ wears red, white, blue — and wins



In his famous “The Man in the Arena” speech, President Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.”

On March 22, Wyatt Hendrickson was that man.

We’ve found our Man in the Arena. Captain America isn’t just a nickname. He’s the embodiment of the American spirit.

He pulled off what many now call the greatest upset in NCAA wrestling history, defeating Olympic gold medalist Gable Steveson for the NCAA heavyweight championship. The arena was packed with 18,000 spectators — including former President Donald Trump.

But more impressive than the title was what led up to it. The championship was the culmination of Hendrickson’s entire journey to this point. Known as “Captain America,” Hendrickson represents the best of the American spirit: hard work, devotion to God, commitment to service, and unapologetic patriotism.

The trendy mantra of “work smarter, not harder” doesn’t apply to him.

“I get my work ethic from my dad,” he told me in a phone call last week. “He always said to work harder, not smarter. There’s no substitute for hard work. If you’re looking for shortcuts, you’ve already messed up.”

Wrestlers can’t outsource the brutal task of cutting weight the night before a match. And Siri can’t stop you from getting cauliflower ear (look it up — you’ll wince).

Hendrickson’s work ethic was forged early. He started wrestling at age 5. But it was a decision he made as a teenager that shaped his life.

“I grew up in a Christian household, but in high school I made the decision to make Jesus my Lord and Savior,” he said.

And he doesn’t just serve God.

Mark 10:45 says, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Hendrickson is ready to do just that. He’s a second lieutenant in the U.S. Air Force — the origin of his nickname, “Captain America.” Before using his final year of eligibility at Oklahoma State, he graduated from the U.S. Air Force Academy. He remains on active duty and has committed to at least 20 years of service.

It was all on display as Hendrickson bolted out of the tunnel for his title match. He carried America on his back and Jesus on his heart — literally. Draped in the American flag and wearing his signature shirt with “JESUS” printed in bold capital letters across the chest, Hendrickson made his values unmistakably clear.

Plenty of athletes either reject patriotic or Christian values — or don’t have the guts to display them. Some even wear the Stars and Stripes while openly expressing disdain for what it represents. Megan Rapinoe, former U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team star, once famously said, “Maybe America is great for a few people right now.” Does she count herself among them?

Hendrickson, by contrast, told me, “Living in America is pretty freakin’ sweet.” He said that growing up, respect for the flag just came naturally. So why did he drape it over his shoulders before the biggest match of his life? “That was the most badass thing I could do,” he said.

Patriots don’t ask permission.

The American spirit stretches back to our founding and remains alive nearly 250 years later. Our Founding Fathers set the standard. It’s hard not to draw a parallel between the iconic painting of George Washington crossing the Delaware and Hendrickson stepping onto the mat — both underdogs, both carrying Old Glory into battle. Even the smoke machine Hendrickson ran through felt like a nod to the fog Washington fought through.

After the match, Hendrickson wrapped President Trump in a bear hug. Speaking about that moment with the man he calls “the big boss,” Hendrickson said, “Don’t be afraid to step up and stand for what you believe in.”

After his Olympic run, Hendrickson will turn his full focus to the Air Force. “Wrestling is harder than the military,” he told me. “It’s prepared me for the military. After wrestling, everything is easy.” He says his life revolves around three priorities: wrestling, God, and America. If you could engineer a patriot in a lab, Hendrickson would be the blueprint.

Samuel Adams once said, “For true patriots to be silent is dangerous.” The only thing dangerous about Wyatt Hendrickson is facing him on the mat. We’ve found our Man in the Arena. Captain America isn’t just a nickname. He’s the embodiment of the American spirit.

Former Chicago high school basketball star murdered outside her home: 'She always did the right thing'



Dyanla "DeDe" Rainey, who won the Illinois girls high school state basketball championship alongside her twin sister Miyanda back in 2018, was gunned down on her driveway on Sunday afternoon and later died at the hospital. She was just 22 years old.

DeDe's sister-in-law, Crystal Rainey, described the horrific shooting.

“She was getting ready to get out of her car on the driveway on the side of the house, and a man hopped out of a vehicle and shot a few rounds into her car,” Crystal Rainey said. “She was hit three times in her back.”

According to Crystal, DeDe's mother Margot Rainey was sitting in her own car just beyond DeDe's driveway and witnessed her daughter's murder.

“Margo was pulling up behind her and saw it all go down,” Crystal said. “DeDe got out of the car and ran to her.”

Police say they received a call about shots fired in a neighborhood in Maywood, Illinois, just outside Chicago, about 2 p.m. on Sunday. When they arrived at the scene, they found DeDe on the ground, facedown and unresponsive. They immediately began administering emergency care before transporting her to Loyola Medical University Hospital, where she later died.

DeDe and twin sister Miyanda, aka "MeMe," were members of the Marshall Metropolitan High School girls basketball team, which won the Class 2A state title back in 2018. DeDe scored 20 points in the championship game, despite the fact that she had a sprained ankle and fluid in her lungs.

Her former coach, Dorothy Gaters, remembers DeDe fondly.

“She always did the right thing,” Gaters said. “Whatever you asked, she would do it the right way. Some kids always find ways to cheat. That wasn’t her.”

“She had a sprained ankle a few days before the game and was having trouble breathing during it,” Gaters added. “I had to take her out but she came to me and wanted back in, said her team needed her. The next day when we were back in Chicago she went to the hospital with fluid in her lungs.”

Since DeDe's passing, many friends and family members have shared their grief and their memories of DeDe on Facebook.

"Whewww WHAT AM I TO DO NOW? Lost for words ain’t even it Slime ," twin sister MeMe wrote. "I feel like a lost soul I feel like I’m here by myself!! What’s next for me cause I swear I don’t want do it without you!!!! My Ace when you seen DeDe you seen MeMe I never got the chance to be a Auntie to your kids and you never got the chance to be one to mine but know IM STANDING ON BUSINESS ABOUT YOU I love you forever my 5lifer "

DeDe and MeMe had already begun their own child care business. DeDe had also thought about going back to school. Her murder is still under investigation.

“DeDe was just in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Crystal Rainey said. “We don’t know if they mistook her for someone else.”