I know this guy, Richard. He’s friends with a couple of different friends of mine. He’s in his late 40s. He’s had a successful microbrewery business going for many years.

Last year, I heard that his business was in trouble. And then, more recently, his wife filed for divorce. He is apparently having problems seeing his kids.

Maybe this is our new male initiation ritual. Getting crushed by family court. Losing your business to far-left politics. Being abandoned in your moment of need.

I saw him recently at a large gathering. He was in pretty bad shape. He was getting screwed at family court. He was blaming Trump for his business problems.

His blaming Trump was no surprise. Many otherwise intelligent people do that automatically here in Portland. Everything is Trump’s fault. I don’t really hold it against them. The propaganda is so thick here. And if you own a public-facing business, you probably have to go with the flow.

More likely, the true cause of his business problems is the economics of Portland. Taxes are up. Insurance is skyrocketing. Homeless people have invaded your neighborhood. Drug addicts are lighting your dumpster on fire.

Hitting bottom

So I was at this event, and I ended up in a small group with Richard and a couple of other guys. I could see that he was upset. He looked terrible.

I could relate to his situation. I had gone through a similar compound disaster when my father died, right in the middle of my own divorce.

So I had felt that pain. But I didn’t have kids. Which probably makes Richard’s situation much worse.

Eventually, the other guys wandered off, and I found myself giving Richard a little pep talk. I told him what happened to me and explained how at the time, I tried to think of it as a test.

I thought to myself: How often in life will I have to face two life-changing crises, coming from two different directions, at the same time?

I tried to think of my situation as a challenge, a rare opportunity to test my mettle, as I faced a mountain of emotional stressors and practical problems.

I couldn’t tell if he was buying it. And I didn’t know him that well. So I left it at that.

The soft life

But in the days after, I thought more about Richard’s situation.

He was a solidly upper-middle-class guy. His parents were well off. He went to a good college. He was a successful businessman and a respected member of the local microbrew scene. His brewery had prospered for years, before Portland took its current downturn.

He had really had an easy time of it, all things considered. So really, my idea that this was a “rare opportunity” was not far off. His current problems were easily the worst thing that ever happened to him. And they were all happening at once!

This also might have been a good time to try to red-pill him on local politics. Bro, Trump isn’t the reason you can’t run a business in Portland. But he wasn’t going to change on that.

But the “test” thing. That was still a valid point. Richard had never been hit this hard. And like a lot of men, he wasn’t ready for it. He had lived a relatively soft life.

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Into the wilderness

People have been saying for years that part of the problem with American men is they don’t have any form of initiation ritual.

There’s no rigorous coming-of-age process. We have no “rites of passage.”

You can live your whole life and never have to endure any true hardship or serious deprivation.

Other cultures make a point of creating those “rites of passage.” Growing up in the West, I heard about young Native American men going on “vision quests.” They ventured into the wilderness by themselves, with no food and no protection from the elements or predatory animals.

In this way, they proved themselves worthy of their people, both physically and mentally. They were pushed to the limits of their endurance.

This was not only a physical ordeal, but a chance for spiritual growth as well. Becoming a man was not just about strength and skill; it was about humility and understanding your responsibilities within your tribe.

Once you had experienced the difficulties of fending for yourself, you would forever appreciate the security of life within a stable and healthy community.

The new vision quest

I thought about Richard’s predicament, which is now fairly common in America. What was happening to him was happening to men all the time.

Maybe this is our new male initiation ritual. Getting crushed by family court. Losing your business to far-left politics. Being abandoned in your moment of need by your own social class, because they’re progressive Democrats as well.

That’s how I would think of it if I were him. What else are you going to do? Cry to your lawyer? Complain about Trump? Whine to your Kamala-voting buddies?

Or are you going to grieve your losses, accept your situation, and then respond with a new resolve, a new clarity of mind, and perhaps a stiffer spine?

I mean, I feel for the guy. He’s going through hell. But these kinds of men have got to stop crying and focus on what is really going on around them.

Think of your present difficulties as the rite of passage you should have experienced when you were 14. Think of them as your overdue vision quest. You’re in the wilderness now. You have only yourself to depend on.