Trump goes No. 1 in US Politician Draft, vows 4 titles



With the NFL Draft set for Thursday, it’s the perfect time to ask: What if we drafted politicians instead of players? Let’s go!

Welcome to the 2025 U.S. Politician Draft, where Republicans and Democrats roll into the arena hoping to rebuild for seasons to come.

Some are calling this the most lopsided deal since the Colts traded John Elway for a bag of footballs and a guy named Bob.

A big thank you to tonight’s sponsors: Tunnels to Towers, Balance of Nature, and My Pillow — three great companies that, unlike Congress, deliver results.

The Republicans are on the clock

With the first overall pick, the GOP selects Donald J. Trump.

After a few seasons off the field — and away from Twitter — Trump returns to the draft in miraculous shape. His personal physician called him “the healthiest player in the history of modern sport.” No drug test necessary.

Trump remains the only player in the league who audibles before the snap, calls a completely different play mid-huddle, and still somehow scores — while the defense tears itself apart yelling at each other on MSNBC.

Financial upside? Huge. If the team goes bankrupt, Trump just buys it. He’s also promised to play for free, though some say the locker room minibar may take a hit.

Critics say he’s not coachable. Trump disagrees: “I know the playbook better than the coaches. Frankly, I wrote the playbook. I am the playbook.”

He guarantees four straight championships — plus a fifth if the league lets him contest the fourth.

Democrats are up next

With pick number two, they select Gavin Newsom.

He looks the part. Photogenic, polished, and press-conference-ready — even when his team loses by 40, he convinces fans that the scoreboard was hacked.

Newsom’s draft stock rose after he pledged to donate his signing bonus so fans could get free concessions and merch. But analysts warn he’s a high-risk pick. Late-game drives? He panics. Crisis management? He disappears. His turf demands? “I’ll only play on artificial grass — I don’t like getting dirty.”

Originally drafted as a quarterback, Newsom has struggled. Scouts note he throws everything to the far left — often out of bounds. If he can’t adjust, the team will switch him to punter, where he already excels at kicking responsibility downfield.

The mid-draft sentimental pick

With pick 199, the GOP selects JD Vance, hoping for a Tom Brady-style miracle.

Vance enters the league late. He didn’t even start playing until recently. But he brings grit, a lunch pail, and a dramatic pivot to the Trump playbook that showed elite flexibility. He once tackled Trump in print — now he blocks for him in prime time. And he didn’t even pull a hamstring during the flip.

Republicans say he’ll back up Trump for four years, unless he gets traded to Fox News first.

Now for the blockbuster trade

In a shocking move, the GOP trades aging locker-room distractions Mitt Romney and Liz Cheney to the Democrats in exchange for Elon Musk and Tulsi Gabbard. Some are calling it the most lopsided deal since the Colts traded John Elway for a bag of footballs and a guy named Bob.

As a bonus, the Democrats throw in RFK Jr.’s free-agent rights, though insiders suspect that was more of a liability dump.

The final pick: Mr. Irrelevant

With the last selection, the Democrats take Tim Walz — a high school assistant football coach turned political long shot. Walz hyped himself as the toughest guy in the draft, but fell hard after investigators revealed he exaggerated his college stats and padded his practice reps.

He claims he's ready to lead, but even his huddle thinks he’s more clipboard than quarterback.

One name, however, never gets called.

Pete Buttigieg, who expected his middle-school junior varsity experience to carry him through the draft, watched the board in disbelief. His old coach didn’t help, saying, “Pete took off half the season — and no one noticed.”

As it turns out, “transportation” isn’t a position.
Trump Revokes Security Clearances For Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Among Others
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Trump Revokes Security Clearances For Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Among Others

'no longer in the national interest'

Trump declares Biden's 'autopen' pardons for J6 committee, Fauci, others are 'VOID'



President Donald Trump declared early Monday morning that Joe Biden's pardons are "VOID, VACANT, AND OF NO FURTHER FORCE OR EFFECT," suggesting that the former president did not sign them or "know anything about them."

While the potential voidance of Biden's pardons could spell trouble for Anthony Fauci, retired Gen. Mark Milley, members of the Biden clan, and others with troubled pasts, Trump indicated that former members of the House Jan. 6 select committee — including Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, Sen. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.), and Rep. Bennie Thompson (D-Miss.) — are his favorites to reap the whirlwind.

"Those on the Unselect Committee, who destroyed and deleted ALL evidence obtained during their two year Witch Hunt of me, and many other innocent people, should fully understand that they are subject to investigation at the highest level," Trump noted on Truth Social.

Earlier this month, the Heritage Foundation's Oversight Project revealed that Biden's signature on numerous executive orders, pardons, and other documents of national consequence was apparently machine-generated. The watchdog group indicated that with the exception of Biden's announcement concerning his decision to drop out of the 2024 presidential race, "every document" researchers could find "used the same autopen signature."

'If in fact this has been occurring, then all those orders are void.'

"The prolific use of autopen by the Biden White House was an instrument to hide the truth from the American people as to who was running the government," Oversight Project Executive Director Mike Howell told Blaze News at the time.

Biden's cognitive decline alone may have been enough to doubt the legal legitimacy of many of the official documents issued in his name and bearing his signature. Suspicions were, however, compounded by reports of staffers and family members making decisions on his behalf; Biden's alleged admission to House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) that he did not remember signing a consequential January 2024 order to pause decisions on exports of liquefied natural gas; and evidence that Biden's signature appeared on documents while he was absent — and in one instance, while on vacation.

In a recent letter demanding that the Department of Justice investigate whether "President Biden's cognitive decline allowed unelected staff to push through radical policy without his knowing approval," Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey noted, "It is black-letter law that a document is void, ab initio, when the person signing it lacks mental capacity."

Bailey added, "Staffers and the Vice President cannot constitutionally evade accountability by laundering far-left orders through a man who does not know what he is signing. If in fact this has been occurring, then all those orders are void."

'He had no idea what the hell he was doing.'

After further analysis, the Oversight Project confirmed that "the same exact Biden autopen signature" was used on the pardons for Fauci, Milley, and members of the Jan. 6 committee, as well as on the pardons for several members of Biden's family who were apparently involved in dodgy foreign deals with the former president and his felonious son Hunter Biden, and for Gerald Lundergan, the former head of the Kentucky state Democratic Party, who served as state chair for Hillary Clinton's failed 2008 presidential campaign and was convicted in 2019 of making illegal campaign contributions.

— (@)

In the wake of the Oversight Project's damning reports, a former Biden aide told the New York Post that a key staffer, who was not named, was suspected of unilaterally making decisions to sign documents as the former president's mental faculties declined. According to the aide, others in the Biden administration questioned the staffer's routine use of the autopen but refrained from speaking up.

"I feared no one as much as I feared that [staffer]. To me, [the staffer] basically was the president," said the aide. "No one ever questioned [the staffer]. Period."

Trump raised the issue of the autopen in his Friday address to the Department of Justice, calling it a "big deal."

"You don't use the autopen," said the president. "Number one, it's disrespectful to the office. Number two, maybe it's not even valid because who's getting [Biden] to sign? He had no idea what the hell he was doing."

Trump evidently became convinced of the illegitimacy of Biden's autopen-signed orders and pardons over the weekend, declaring early Monday morning, "The 'Pardons' that Sleepy Joe Biden gave to the Unselect Committee of Political Thugs, and many others, are hereby declared VOID, VACANT, AND OF NO FURTHER FORCE OR EFFECT, because of the fact that they were done by Autopen. In other words, Joe Biden did not sign them but, more importantly, he did not know anything about them!"

"The necessary Pardoning Documents were not explained to, or approved by, Biden. He knew nothing about them, and the people that did may have committed a crime," continued Trump.

Trump suggested further that in the case of the Jan. 6 committee members, the pardonees were "likely responsible for the Documents that were signed on their behalf without the knowledge or consent of the Worst President in the History of our Country, Crooked Joe Biden!"

The president subsequently shared an image of three presidential portraits. The first and third framed images were of Trump, with the plaques below indicating his duration in office. The second image was of an autopen machine writing Biden's signature with the dates 2021-2025 marked below.

— (@)

Despite his declaration of voidance, Trump reportedly told reporters Sunday evening, "It's not my decision; that'll be up to a court."

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Is Fauci pardon legitimate? Autopen signatures cast doubt on legality of Biden docs.



Anthony Fauci, retired Gen. Mark Milley, and others with questionable track records received controversial pardons just prior to Joe Biden leaving office.

New signature analysis conducted by the Heritage Foundation's Oversight Project indicates that the "same exact Biden autopen signature" appeared on each of these pardons.

This revelation regarding the use of an automatic signature device, coupled with evidence of Biden's diminished agency while in office and previous allegations concerning his sidelining, has prompted some critics to wonder who was actually dispensing pardons as well as about the validity of the controversial pardons.

Contrary to CNN's assertion last year that the use of the autopen was "a rarity in the Biden administration," the Oversight Project reported Thursday that nearly every executive order, pardon, and other consequential document researchers could find from Biden's presidency bore a machine-generated signature.

While other presidents, including Donald Trump and Barack Obama, have used the so-called autopen, there are indications that document signings during Biden's tenure were repeatedly undertaken while he was absent — not only in body but possibly also in mind.

The Oversight Project indicated that in one instance, Biden's oft-used autopen signature appeared on the pardons for a murderer and five other criminals that were issued while the then-president was vacationing and golfing in the U.S. Virgin Islands. The pardons all reportedly indicated that they were signed "at the City of Washington."

'The autopen findings could open up legal challenges.'

The White House acknowledged that the Federal Aviation Administration funding extension was signed in May 2024 using an autopen. It was suggested that Biden, traveling in San Francisco at the time, had sought to avoid a lapse in funding and was cognizant of this taking place.

Biden has, however, cast doubt on whether he was always in the loop when documents were being signed in his name.

The former president allegedly told House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) that he did not remember signing a January 2024 order to pause decisions on exports of liquefied natural gas. This suggestion fueled suspicions that one or more individuals in Biden's orbit had usurped presidential powers.

"The main legal question here is who was the president over the last four years," Oversight Project Executive Director Mike Howell previously told Blaze News. "That's what we are aiming to uncover. The prolific use of autopen by the Biden White House was an instrument to hide the truth from the American people as to who was running the government."

The Oversight Project emphasized on X that "WHOEVER CONTROLLED THE AUTOPEN CONTROLLED THE PRESIDENCY."

On Jan. 20, just hours before leaving the Oval Office, Biden allegedly issued a number of pardons, citing the need to protect the recipients from potential "revenge" by the incoming Trump administration.

Milley, the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff whom Trump has accused of committing "treason," nabbed a pardon, as did several members of Biden's family who were apparently involved in sleazy foreign deals with the former president and his felonious son Hunter Biden; Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, California Sen. Adam Schiff (D), and other members of the Jan. 6 committee; D.C. Metro Police officers who testified before the Jan. 6 committee; and Gerald Lundergan, the former head of the Kentucky state Democratic Party who served as state chair for Hillary Clinton's failed 2008 presidential campaign and was convicted in 2019 of making illegal campaign contributions.

'It appears staffers and officers in the Biden administration may have exploited Biden's incapacity.'

Fauci, the fifth director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, also among the pardonees, received a "full and unconditional" pass for possible federal crimes going back to Jan. 1, 2014 — around the time the Obama administration supposedly halted funding for dangerous gain-of-function research.

Despite the pardon, a coalition of state attorneys general indicated last month that they still want to hold Fauci accountable for "alleged mismanagement, misleading statements, and suppression of scientific debate."

Fauci, like the others, might be more exposed than the state attorneys general may have originally thought.

After demonstrating that the signature on the pardons was identical, the Oversight Projected noted, "The autopen findings could open up legal challenges to the validity of Biden's pardons in a court of law. The U.S. Constitution requires a president be 'present' for all legal signatures."

The Oversight Project indicated that with the exception of the Democrat's announcement indicating that he was dropping out of the 2024 race, every document researchers could find bearing Biden's signature "used the same autopen signature."

Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) said of the watchdog group's finding, "On the plus side, we can say we lived under America's first robot president."

Howell posed the question, "What should happen to these 'pardons'?" then indicated with a brief video that they should be torn up.

President Trump's U.S. envoy for special missions, Richard Grenell, stated, "Biden didn't sign the pardons."

Blaze News previously reported that Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey has called on the Department of Justice to launch a full investigation into the legality of Biden's presidential actions in light of his apparent mental decline.

— (@)

"Under the 25th Amendment, his inability to make decisions should have meant a succession of power," Bailey noted in his letter. "Instead, it appears staffers and officers in the Biden administration may have exploited Biden's incapacity so they could issue orders without an accountable President of sound mind approving them."

"It is black-letter law that a document is void, ab initio, when the person signing it lacks mental capacity," added Bailey.

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Trump tears into Thomas Massie over CR opposition: 'HE SHOULD BE PRIMARIED'



President Donald Trump lashed out at Republican Rep. Thomas Massie of Kentucky, who said on Monday that he would vote against the GOP-led continuing resolution.

Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) can afford to lose only one Republican vote on the CR given his party's historically narrow House majority. Democrats have also vowed to vote against the CR, leaving Johnson with the challenge of rallying every Republican behind the bill.

Massie, arguably the most principled fiscal conservative in Congress, already claimed the sole "no" vote the conference can spare, adding to the mounting pressure on Republicans. Trump, in turn, took to Truth Social to air his grievances.

'Someone thinks they can control my voting card by threatening my re-election. Guess what? Doesn’t work on me.'

"Congressman Thomas Massie, of beautiful Kentucky, is an automatic 'NO' vote on just about everything, despite the fact that he has always voted for Continuing Resolutions in the past," Trump said. "HE SHOULD BE PRIMARIED, and I will lead the charge against him."

"He's just another GRANDSTANDER, who's too much trouble, and not worth the fight," Trump added. "He reminds me of Liz Cheney before her historic, record breaking fall (loss!). The people of Kentucky won't stand for it, just watch."

While Trump's condemnation would have worked on most Republicans, Massie has been famously immune to the political pressures of GOP leadership, and that includes the president.

Behind the scenes, Republican leadership has been hustling to get the CR passed.

"Someone thinks they can control my voting card by threatening my re-election," Massie said. "Guess what? Doesn’t work on me. Three times I’ve had a challenger who tried to be more MAGA than me. None busted 25% because my constituents prefer transparency and principles over blind allegiance."

Massie is always considered an immovable "no" vote in every spending fight, leaving the rest of the Republican conference to sink or swim. Apart from Massie, several Republicans are still on the fence about Tuesday's CR vote, including Reps. Tim Burchett of Tennessee, Cory Mills of Florida, Tony Gonzales of Texas, Rich McCormick of Georgia, Beth Van Duyne of Texas, Kat Cammack of Florida, Andy Ogles of Tennessee, and Brian Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania.

Despite some holdouts, Johnson is gunning for a repeat of February's reconciliation vote, where Republicans voted in lockstep to get the budget blueprint passed, with Massie as the only exception.

Behind the scenes, Republican leadership has been hustling to get the CR passed.

OMB Director Russ Vought met with members of the House Freedom Caucus and adjacent fiscal conservatives in early March to pitch the Trump-backed funding bill ahead of the vote, as Blaze News first reported. Trump also met with the same group 48 hours later in order to rally remaining Republican holdouts. As a result, the HFC officially endorsed the CR despite historically opposing CRs generally.

It's clear that Republicans are putting in the work. Now we will have to wait and see if it pays off.

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