Women won the ‘war on marriage’ — now they miss the spoils
If feminists were honest revolutionaries, they would change their slogan from “Smash the Patriarchy” to “Mission Accomplished.” The numbers don’t lie. Single women own more homes than single men. More women are primary breadwinners than ever before. The gender balance on college campuses has completely changed over the past six decades. Women earned 35% of Bachelor’s degrees in 1960. Today, they earn close to 60%. Even the norms on sex have changed. Magazines like Teen Vogueand sex-positive feminist outlets will write in defense of “sex work” but would never publish a modesty manifesto urging women to be more “ladylike.”
Despite the “pay inequality” propaganda the left weaponizes to make women see themselves as victims, the truth is that the sisterhood has been victorious. The problem is that women's triumph has come at the cost of the one thing they want most: a family.
Plenty of men aren’t hostile to working women — they’re just not interested in marrying women who act like the job comes first.
Megyn Kelly recently highlighted a growing tension on the right: Young conservative women struggle to find marriage-minded men. The former Fox News anchor said many right-wing men avoid marrying women with careers. According to Kelly, these men see professional ambition as a threat to traditional family life. She warned this mindset could marginalize outspoken conservative women in high-profile jobs.
This debate cuts to the core of the right’s broader conversation about rebuilding the family. I’ve spent years researching marriage trends, and the concerns these women voice reflect real dilemmas. But the men aren't speaking nonsense, either. Many believe that career-driven women will inevitably choose ambition over family. They want wives who share their priorities — not women chasing a different future.
Recent data from the Pew Research Center backs this up. Just 43% of Republican women say society benefits when people prioritize marriage and children. That’s nearly 10 points lower than Republican men. Meanwhile, women are more likely than men to say careers make life fulfilling — 74% compared to 69%.
Men put more weight on family. Twenty-eight percent of Republican men say marriage is extremely or very important to a fulfilling life, compared to only 18% of women. When asked about children, 29% of men agreed, seven points higher than their female counterparts.
Some men may oppose working women on principle, but most simply want wives who put family ahead of career — especially during their children’s early years. Yes, many households need two incomes to get by. But the right’s current debates over gender, marriage, and fertility go far beyond money.
The word “economics” comes from the Greek "oikonomia," meaning household management. The home was never meant to be a holding cell. It was supposed to serve as the engine of spiritual, social, educational, and economic life.
Feminists like Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan rejected that idea. They framed the home as a prison, a place where women played “hostess” and “housekeeper” under the thumb of domineering husbands.
That mindset reshaped the culture. The most successful front in the gender wars wasn’t about breaking glass ceilings — it was about “liberating” women from any perceived duty to their husbands, children, or homes.
This obviously isn’t to say women don’t contribute at home. In most families, they’re the ones making sure meals get made, appointments get kept, and the kids show up to practice. But these actions aren’t framed as public obligations. No one shames a woman who misses the mark. There is no social penalty for opting out.
Meanwhile, the standards for men remain clear and unforgiving. For all the upheaval American families have seen in the past 50 years, society still expects men to provide and protect. A man who fails to support his family financially gets branded a “deadbeat.” A man who ducks behind his wife during a street altercation becomes a viral punchline.
Nothing comparable exists for women. Some suggest nurturing and supporting the family are equal expectations, but society rarely defines what those look like. Why? Because the feminist movement made it taboo to speak as if women must do anything in particular to be considered a good wife and mother.
That silence creates an imbalance in the home — an asymmetry that underlies not just policy debates on maternity leave but cultural arguments over “trad” lifestyles and modern family roles.
Society lectures men about duty and responsibility. It tells women about rights and freedom. When a father sacrifices for his family, he earns praise. When a mother does the same, she gets told to prioritize self-care — because a “whole” woman supposedly makes a better parent.
Even when women abandon their families, the media often wraps the story in the language of empowerment. A woman who leaves a decent husband and young kids to drink Chardonnay on Wednesdays and sweat through Bikram yoga on Thursdays won’t be condemned. She’ll be celebrated. Outlets will rush to reframe the desertion as a stunning and brave act of self-discovery. We can’t fix the American family without confronting sex differences. The political right burns energy on gender identity while ignoring a more urgent problem: how men and women function differently at home.
Plenty of successful men marry high-earning women. But no culture teaches that women should support both a grown man and their children. That’s why women tend to seek partners who earn more. U.S. Census data backs this up: Female physicians often marry within their profession. Male doctors, on the other hand, marry nurses and teachers.
Conservative women misunderstand the men they complain about. Most aren’t hostile to women in the workforce. They’re just not interested in marrying women who treat the job as their top priority. They want a wife who puts family first — because they do.
Even those who claim women can “have it all” admit they can’t have it all at once. You can’t spend 70 hours a week at the office and be as present for your children as a stay-at-home mother.
Men make that trade-off because we’re expected to provide. That’s why we don’t gripe when mom gets the first hug at graduation. But every career-driven woman who outsources her maternal role needs to answer one hard question: Is she comfortable with the nanny getting that moment instead?
Women giving up on marriage? Data reveals who’s happiest
While millions of young girls in the not-so-distant past dreamt endlessly of their wedding days, American women are apparently now flat out rejecting the institution of marriage — believing it won’t bring them happiness.
According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, “Over half of single women said they believe they were happier than their married counterparts.” The article looks at a 2024 AEI survey of 5,386 adults, where just over a third of surveyed single men said the same.
And in a 2022 Pew survey of single adults, only 34% of single women and 54% of single men were “looking for romance.” This is down from 38% and 61% in 2019.
“What’s not understandable to me is this perception that married people are not happy,” Stu Burguiere of “Stu Does America” comments. “Women really hold that strongly, men to a lesser degree, but still have that in their opinion.”
While the stats reflect single women believing marriage leads to unhappiness, the stats also prove them wrong.
Per the latest General Social Survey, the Institute for Family Studies found that the answer to “Who is happier?” is very clear.
Married women with children were by far the happiest with 39.5% reporting as “very happy” and 47.6% reporting as “pretty happy.” Another 12.9% reported being “not too happy.”
Only 21.5% of unmarried women with no children reported being “very happy,” while 53.8% reported being “pretty happy,” and 24.6% reported being “not too happy.”
“I think a lot of people convince others that, actually, married life sucks, and it doesn’t. It’s actually great,” Stu says. “When you’re in conversations with your friends, if you’re a married person, don’t try to scare them away.”
“You’re scaring them away from something that will probably benefit them,” he adds.
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Big weddings, bigger regrets: Gen Z says ‘I don’t’ to wedding debt
“What do you mean you don’t want any furniture underneath the pergola?”
’Tis wedding season, the time of year when nuptial excitement contends with a seemingly endless stream of design choices with a hefty price tag. As a bride-to-be myself, I have been astounded by the pressure to spend beyond my budget, as if not including an ice cream truck and a balloon selfie wall would make or break the entire event. It’s a winning formula for the wedding industry: Heightened expectations plus soaring price tags equal staggering profit margins. And the industry has social media to thank.
Gen Z is proving that a beautiful, meaningful wedding does not have to come with a hefty price tag or the expectation of social media perfection.
In an era when weddings are often measured by their Instagramability, many couples feel pressured to plan a picture-perfect day that meets the aesthetic standards of social media. The rise of platforms like Instagram and Pinterest has turned wedding planning into a high-stakes production, fueling the wedding industry’s ever-growing price tag. But as costs continue to soar, a new trend is emerging — one driven by a generation that is more financially cautious and less enamored with the idea of a fairy-tale wedding at any cost.
A wedding arms race
Social media has revolutionized wedding planning. With a single scroll, couples are bombarded with curated images of extravagant floral installations, designer gowns, and luxury venues. While such platforms can serve as helpful tools for inspiration, wedding “doomscrolling” has transformed a deeply personal and intimate occasion into a public spectacle, where likes and shares serve as the currency of validation. According to Forbes, social media’s effect of raising expectations — and costs — is making 60% of couples consider elopement over a traditional wedding.
Escaping the pressure of staggering wedding costs is palpable. The average wedding budget for 2025 is projected to be around $36,000 — compared with $29,000 in 2023 — with high-cost areas like New York City pushing that number to $65,000. Unsurprisingly, many couples are turning to loans and credit cards to fund their big day. One survey found that 56% of newlyweds go into debt for their wedding — an alarming trend as 34% of divorcees blame credit card debt and spending as contributing factors to their divorces. Is that really the best gift for newlyweds?
Rebelling against wedding debt
However, unlike Millennials, who embraced the Instagram-fueled wedding culture, Gen Z is showing signs of resistance. Facing economic challenges such as inflation and housing affordability, Gen Z couples are putting cost-effective celebrations over extravagant ones. The Guardian reports that many opt for smaller weddings, alternative venues, and even elopements to avoid unnecessary financial stress.
There is also a shift away from the performative aspect of weddings. While Millennials often sought highly curated, shareable moments, Vogue notes that Gen Zers are less concerned with social media validation. They prefer authenticity and meaningful experiences over staged perfection.
This has led to a rise in DIY elements, intimate ceremonies, and budget-friendly wedding choices. For example, some brides choose to do their own makeup, saving thousands of dollars compared to hiring a professional artist. Others prefer unconventional locations like back yards and public parks rather than expensive banquet halls.
Rethinking the wedding industry
The movement away from over-the-top weddings is not just about finances — it’s about values.
Weddings are meant to be a celebration of love and commitment, not a financial burden that lingers long after the last dance. While the wedding industry thrives on convincing couples that their big day must be grand and expensive, Gen Zers are beginning to challenge that notion. They are proving that a beautiful, meaningful wedding does not have to come with a hefty price tag or the expectation of social media perfection.
As more couples reject the pressures of an Instagram-worthy wedding in favor of financially sane choices, the industry may be forced to adapt.
Home alone for spring break — and hopelessly homesick
Last week was supposed to be one of the best weeks of my life.
When I told my friends why, they responded with a mix of disbelief and envy: “How did you pull that off?” “You hit the lottery!” “Can we trade places?”
At the time, they were busy cramming their kids’ belongings into as few bags as possible, all while trying to stay under the 50-pound airline limit. Spring break had arrived, and my friends were jetting off to various corners of the country to yell at their kids in unfamiliar settings.
The news I broke to them? I wouldn’t be joining the spring break chaos. Due to a poorly timed elbow surgery, I couldn’t travel. My wife would be taking our three kids — ages 10, 7, and 4 — to Utah for a ski trip without me.
So what’s a temporarily solo dad to do with a quiet house and only his beloved bulldog for company?
I had grand plans. Each day after work, I’d come home, change into sweats, and spend the rest of the evening doing what I love most — lighting up a cigar and diving into a good book. Better yet, I’d start two hours earlier than usual, reclaiming time normally lost to homework, sports, and bath time.
Losing the normal rhythm of my day made something very clear: Without my family around, my life had no order. And it’s that order that gives me purpose.
With my family returning the day before my 40th birthday, I saw this as my opportunity to live large for a week — maybe even earn a spot on a “40 under 40” list. But if I’m being honest, my real goal was simple: Do as little as humanly possible.
Still, some things had to get done.
I did three loads of laundry before realizing I hadn’t added detergent to any of them. For dinner each night, I drank a protein shake made of nothing but powder and water. (Apparently, my wife didn’t leave me any actual food.)
I hand-washed every cup, plate, and utensil I used — not because I wanted to, but because the dishwasher intimidates me more than anything else in our house.
It didn’t take long to realize that without my wife around, I function at the level of barely breathing.
But wow, was I free.
That night, the cigar lasted a little longer. My dog got to sleep in the bed. I even sent a few humblebrag texts to my friends.
Then came the next morning.
No waking to the soft sound of the shower running after my wife’s early workout. No stroll down the hallway belting out Travis Tritt’s “It’s a Great Day to Be Alive” to wake up the kids. No chance to embarrass my son by singing in the school drop-off line in front of the girls in his class.
When I walked back in the door that day and saw my daughter’s theater bag hanging in the mudroom, I would have done anything to sit in traffic and drive her to her Monday-night rehearsal — the same drive we always complain about.
But instead, there was nothing. Just that “freedom” I had been craving.
And in that moment, I realized I had it — freedom from the mundane routines of life. And I was miserable.
Losing the normal rhythm of my day made something very clear: Without my family around, my life had no order. And it’s that order that gives me purpose.
I was homesick at home.
It turns out this is completely normal. According to the General Social Survey — one of the most respected studies of American life — men and women with a spouse and children are the most likely to report being “very happy.” For men ages 18 to 55, marriage nearly doubles the likelihood of happiness compared to those who remain unmarried.
Andrew Tate’s followers might want to ask for a refund.
For me, the longing wasn’t just about missing companionship. I missed the “work” that comes with having a family. And according to Brad Wilcox of the Institute for Family Studies, that’s also typical.
But the benefits of that work extend beyond the home.
“It’s getting harder to ignore the data that show men fare better when they have the ‘positive pressure’ of caring for a family,” Wilcox writes. “Stable marriages don’t just benefit kids. ... The obligations of family life motivate men to work harder and smarter. Fathers literally make more money when they have kids.”
Something deeply rewarding comes with the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood. I’ve gained a new appreciation for the frantic Sunday dash to church and the hours I’ve spent untying double knots.
And if Brad Wilcox is right, those cuddles might even be boosting my income.
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