We watched âThe Marvelsâ so you don't have to
If you didnât already know, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is going downhill, and the latest film, âThe Marvels,â which was released on November 10, is only adding to the problem.
âI've seen roadside taco stands with better quality control than whatever the heck they've got going on over at Marvel right now,â says Lauren Chen.
People have waited over four years for the release of this film, as itâs the sequel to âCaptain Marvel,â which came out in 2019.
Unfortunately, the anticipation and excitement leading up to âThe Marvels'â release will likely be replaced with disappointment and frustration.
For starters, the movie is âall over the place,â says Lauren, adding that the confusing plotline âgave [her] a headache.â
Further, because science fiction/fantasy movies are exactly that â fiction â they donât have to make sense scientifically, but they do have to make sense within the context of the film. Lauren points to the infinity stones from âAvengers: Infinity Warâ and âAvengers: Endgame.â Thereâs nothing scientifically sound about the concept of powerful space gemstones, and yet, the stones drove the plotline of the films and likely contributed to the fact that the movies are Marvelâs top two performers.
âThe Marvels,â however, has the MCUâs lowest grossing film opening in history, perhaps because the fake science, which should have been âfun and ... cohesive,â was âsome of the dumbest [Lauren has] ever seen.â
âI, still, while watching this baby-faced actress blast a hole in the sky creating a portal to another planet in order to suck out the other planetsâ air, could not help but think to myself, âWow, this is really dumb,ââ she sighs.
Thereâs also the issue of âemotional resonanceâ to consider.
Lauren recalls a moment in the film that should have been âa pretty heavy moment,â considering hundreds of civilian Skrulls were left to die on an uninhabitable planet, but despite the tragic circumstances, âthe film moves on from that pretty quickly.â
âI mean there's literally just two minutes where it's kind of like, âOh, sucks to suck,ââ says Lauren.
But thatâs not the only scene that frivolously glosses over a tragedy.
Thereâs another point in the film when âbasically you just watch a genocide unfold,â and yet âthe characters [donât] seem to give a crap that entire planets and populations [are] being just wiped out,â criticizes Lauren.
And somehow it gets even worse.
For example, in addition to the brushed-aside tragedies, thereâs a poor attempt at comedy when some of the characters arrive on Aladna â the singing planet, where the language âis singing in English,â and the residents âdonât understand youâ unless you sing, scoffs Lauren.
Suddenly, thereâs âa 10 minute ... musical number,â featuring âBrie Larson not only singing but also magically changing outfits,â says Lauren, adding that the scene âfelt like a throwaway episode of a daytime weekend TV show.â
There were other parts of the movie, too, that made Lauren realize âthe writers could not give a flying Fâ about the filmâ like adorable kittens who eat scientists and throw them up later, a trio of âsuperheroesâ who interact like âwork colleagues,â and the fact that âthereâs basically no men in the film.â But to get the full details on that, youâll have to watch Laurenâs full review below.
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